[ENFJ] ENFJs, why are you so fake?

[HollyGolightly]

its the INFJ!
they're the fakers!

Fake?
I'll have you know I'm all man

 

[HollyGolightly]

What is the purpose of these remarks?

The one about INFJs was a joke because I am a woman who is pretending to be a man. Okay that sounded weird, but I am INFJ what did you expect? ;P

As for the other one I have no idea. I think we all do this at times. We have a bad experience with someone of a certain type and we feel some resentment to the actual type. But like I said in a previous post, one person doesn't represent a whole type. Just think, if I represented all INFJs...oh God actually don't even go there ;P

 

[Jaguar]

The one about INFJs was a joke because I am a woman who is pretending to be a man. Okay that sounded weird, but I am INFJ what did you expect? ;P

You can't be pretending very well. You just told me.

 

[HollyGolightly]

You can't be pretending very well. You just told me.

Crap.
*coughs and puts on gruff voice*
Alright love. Room for a little'un?

I'm such an amazing guy....

;P

 

[Thalassa]

What is the purpose of these remarks?

what's the purpose of anything nocap says?

 

[Nocapszy]

What is the purpose of these remarks?

the only response i have is to remind you that your reputation as a troll has swelled and grown larger than mine.

what's the purpose of anything nocap says?

lately, just a test to help me determine who belongs on my ignore list.


has anyone else got a problem with my posts?

 

[Domino]

has anyone else got a problem with my posts?

*swats you with a rolled newspaper*

 

[Kanamori]

What is the purpose of these remarks?

And this I think is a power play, get yourself off much?

 

[LotsOfHeart]

I think both ENFJs and INFJs (yes, my own type) can have this problem. It's not one of our prouder suits, but I've seen people of both types put on masks, compliment and hang out with people they can't stand. It's not to say these are the only types that do that, and NFJs tend to do it with the intention of not hurting other people.

There are some people I can't stand but can wear a mask of approval around them. If they knew how I really felt about them they'd either be deeply hurt inside, angry or both. It's usually because I don't want to hurt their feelings or be in conflict with them when it's not necessary. INFJs are great at hiding things if we feel an incentive to do so. We'll complain to our trusted allies but it'll stay there. We also use people as chess pieces sometimes to get what we want.

ENFJs do the same thing, for basically the same reasons, but since extroverted feeling is their dominant, and they are extroverts, they are not quite as selective of who they share their true feelings with. Some of my ENFJ friends will hang out with people and give them a good time, but then will actually say some really mean things to others about that person later. They need to be mindful that they don't share this information with everyone because the wrong person could hear it. They probably view this behavior as a means to not offend people and feel they need to get their feelings out when they can. As understandable as that is, though, it's not always the best idea from a practical standpoint. Sometimes ENFJs are upfront about their anger too, but they don't hold back, and that hurts people.

Anyway the point of this is that ENFJs are not fake, they just don't want to hurt others. It's actually a pretty noble act. However, it would help them to know some things aren't meant to be shared even with your friends (unless they're really close friends) and when you do get angry, take a couple deep breaths and think things out for a bit.

 

[A Schnitzel]

5 stars.

Would read again.

 

[ceecee]

ENFJs may stereotypically focus away from themselves for 'the greater good' and all of that jazz, but it's doesn't have to hold true or be completely selfless.

It's not because no one does anything without getting something out of it. Even if it looks selfless and the end result is someone's happiness, that makes them feel good. Does it really matter that they do? It's like if someone tells me they want to pray for me. It won't do anything for me but it makes you feel good and you're doing something productive so...knock yourself out.

 

[Malkavia]

This is one of the best threads Ive read in a long time.

 

[Poki]

I know ENFJs have a want to please people, which in turn rewards them with appreciation, but is this a genuine system? I ask this because I think the other side involves plans or goals. With this in mind, couldn't they please people simply for the sake of their goal?

So I think there's a variable that decides this all: whether the ultimate outcome of the goal is intended to help others or themselves.

I feel I've dealt with both sides, but mostly the latter. I have a friend that will "help" you, but in the end it had nothing to do with friendship, but an underlying goal in which I have to "keep my end of the deal" and help out with. I think this also has to do with charisma and trying to uphold it in order to accomplish a goal.

Am I talking about Hitler yet?

It sounds like do unto others what you want them to do unto you? Isnt this what we are all taught. I think they may simply get beat down because they try to uphold this to such a high extent and dont get what they do returned.

Fe is fake in the same sense that Te is fake. Te can be used to logically manipulate just as much as Fe can be used to emotionally manipulate.

 

[nynesneg]

Talk about a negative thread title to get people riled up... lol...

I'm not fake. I don't care what you say. I have my own plans just like anybody else, but have intimate real connections with friends that aren't for my benefit in any way shape or form.

Other ENFJs? Sure maybe the ones you know are. They should grow up.

 

[JHBowden]

I don't think ENFJs are fake, in so much as they don't see the point in argument and confrontation.

My mother is an ENFJ, and reminds me of Lois Griffin from the Family Guy. I could tell her, "I joined the Klan, and we're going to burn some crosses, bomb some synagogues, and assassinate President Obama." She'd be like, "That's nice. Hey, do you want some cookies?"

 

[Fluffywolf]

ENFJ's aren't fake, they are just honestly confused. So easily dealt with, that it's cute and harmless.

 

[Amargith]

Isn't it time to start bashing Te or Ti for a change?

 

[fill]

Isn't it time to start bashing Te or Ti for a change?

Of course! I think we should all start bashing each other's attributes, one by one. I'm totally into that.



See that? It's me eating popcorn! My words were intended to by sarcastic! Just like the words in the title of this thread!

 

[JoSunshine]

I do agree with some of the posts that say the payoff for doing something good for others is feeling good about having helped another...I think this is kind of unavoidable and human. For me the questions are: Am I helping this person achieve what s/he wants for him/herself or am I helping him/her achieve what I think they should want. AND Am I doing this for the appreciation/attention or is that simply a by-product of a good deed.

What I mean by that, is I will help a person achieve their goals if they want my help (writing a resume, talking out a problem, whatever). I DON'T under any circumstances try to manipulate people into to doing what I want them to do under the guise of "helping" them and then expect them to worship me for it...which I think is pretty common among unhealthy Extroverted Feelers (particularly of the Judging type). When I see people asserting their will on others and then complaining about the lack of appreciation they have received, I am always perplexed and disgusted to be honest. It's not really giving if the end result is all about achieving your own goal, now is it? I know an ENFJ and an ESFJ who both do this, but I don't think ALL ENFJs or ESFJs are like this...some of us genuinely care about people.

I would say that "fake" is something I am definitely not. One of my closest friend is an ISTP and she said that when we first met she thought I was fake...becuase why would someone who hardly knows her be so friendly and nice to her...she said overtime she realized it was becuase I was genuinely a nice, friendly person...imagine that! Now we have one of the best friendships I have ever had the pleasure of being in

There are some interesting articles out there on egocentric giving (which is basically what this thread is about) versus altruistic giving...I am sure that people of all types can be guilty of either.

 

[SUPER]

I don't think its necessarily fakeness, just that once they know they have you, they get bored and want a challenge, and are observant of people and how they act when they have you in their "plan". like a kind deity, bemused by the way the ants are acting. somewhat childish when it comes to "they have you", but thats not necessarily fakeness for fakeness sake..

agree. you constantly have to play that hard to get role with enfjs.

they waste their time and end up confused because they want what they cant have