[MBTI General] Do you think ESJs are good boyfriends?

[Edgar]

Well, it is extremist, I admit, but if I can't seem to find a happy medium, shouldn't I settle down with a guy who worships me rather than a guy who treats me like shit?

Well if you are setting yourself up for failure, it will become a self fulfilling prophecy.

 

[kiddykat]

Hi Cc,

Was going to hold my breath, not respond, because.. everyone's entitled to their own opinion, and some may like what others have to say, some may not. I couldn't help it.

I'm in the same boat as you- currently dating an ESTJ. Wow- I thought that would never happen. He's not too extreme though.. not like some personalities (ex- O'Reily from the O'Reily Factor show- yah- that's anal up the ass), but anyway..

After giving it a bit more time, I feel as though I'm losing a piece of myself each/everyday.. The creative spirit/the happy me, slowly feels like it's being tamed by a huge difference in our understanding for one another..

I need the emotional bond in a relationship. In fact, I'd rather compromise the physical in order to share that 'best friend' bond with someone..

Yeah- so if you want to take the chance of being in the relationship- by all means do so. I personally need to feel that jive with that person, otherwise, I start to feel like a tree with roots that are slowly dying/drying up with a constant need for someone to understand.

My motto: "Find someone who will grow with you as you get older. Be the one to choose." P.S.- compared to my ENFP relationship- I felt accepted +understood on all levels. We were both young, and I don't think I'd wanna marry him- but DEFINITELY a huge contrast compared to the ESTJ experience. I'd choose the former. Definitely much easier communication.

 

[jixmixfix]

How do you know?

Eh, I guess you might be right.

When I was with my ESJ ex, I told him, pointblank, that I would never marry him or have his children.

And I don't think I'd ever marry this guy or have his children, either. :/

Woah cruel...

 

[PeaceBaby]

CaptainChick, how about an update? How are things going for you?

 

[Wild horses]

ESJ boyfriends are a mindfield.. and we seem to be a moth to the flame!

 

[revolve]

For the record, I don't think I ever dated an N, what does that say about me.

ha! i'm pretty damn sure i didn't date my first N until i was 33 so you got time babe . . . but i always ponder the same thing . . . i say to myself, "was up with that?" we'll figure it out sometime . . . i got some theories . . .

 

[revolve]

This guy is ridiculously passionate, expressive, complimentary, and affectionate.

He is not the best looking guy in the world, but he has something I like to call, "swagger".

This whole thing, I think, is kind of a test, a test on whether or not I want to be with an I or an E.

Es, like me, like and desire good company!

I am so tired of stalking solitary wolves.

I want to be stalked for once!!!

I don't think ESJs have the ability to control me, if anything, the ones I've gotten involved with kinda viewed me as something different and special, they knew that if they pulled some possesive shit on me, I'd bounce.

OH, EPIPHANY!!!

I think that this guy, like my ESJ ex, I view(ed) to some extent, "lower" than me. And hence, (yes, I am totaly fucked in the head), when, and if, their *behavior* towards me was anything less than supreme, I would happily pack my things and go.

In other words, I have an uber-air of confidence about me.

Conversely, I am sick and tired of being treated poorly by guys I deem highly, get it?

I'm such a gene-whore, when I should really be focusing more on how a guy *acts*, and treats me.

Whenever I meet a guy, I think in the back of my head, I wonder what kind of babies we'd make together, but why would you want what you'd think would be an awesome baby with a dick of a dad?

Hahahahaha, I'm totally blowing up my spot, but ya'll know I'm nuts, already.

Ain't no shame in my game. (Eh, maybe there's a little shame )

captain chick you are awesome & hilarious & i totally relate to everything you said up there. i too would like to be the stalkee for once!!! these darn solitary loner hermits often seem like they could take us or leave us . . . i need some attention dudes, for gosh sakes!!! also, my mother is intp . . . hhmmm . . . is this an enfp thing?

 

[Drezoryx]

yess CC whats the update? my ESJ(gf) relation is on the rocks i've given the ultimatum.. its running on notice period lol unless something drastic changes, which ive been promised will change. lets see

 

[SillySapienne]

Well, I think he and I are just going to be friends who mutually use/need each other for social affairs and company.

We have very little in common.

He throws parties and takes me to dinner.

In that sense, we gel well together.

But his serious lack of N acts as a serious barrier in any attempt for us to get along in an intimately serious/real manner.

If he were intellectually more inclined, I could see us working out as a potential couple, but, alas, he is not.

We still hang out, though!