where to start.
People Skills by Robert someone (heimen I think)
He lists ten obstacles to listening and talks about reflective listening.
"How to make friends and influence people." Dale Carnigigigeiigiegeesomething
(Random note. I was reading a software blog and the blogger made the point that if you want to design software you have to read this book. Shrug so I did. )
Anyway, Dale C, really drums home the point that you never win by convincing someone they're wrong, because on some level they'll resent you. You get alot further by asking them questions that lead to your point.
Steppenwolf.
Glassbead game (only read half of this)
Before these books I thought people were really stupid and not worth hanging around. For a few years after these books I went through my you should get out there and give life a go (This was probably an age thing too).
Unfortunately, I found out that people aren't stupid, they are just wilfully ignorant which is a great deal harder to overcome.
"Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on earth -- more than ruin -- more even than death.... Thought is subversive and revolutionary, destructive and terrible, thought is merciless to privilege, established institutions, and comfortable habit. Thought looks into the pit of hell and is not afraid. Thought is great and swift and free, the light of the world, and the chief glory of man. "
to paraphrase another quote (which I can't find)
When someone is faced with changing their mind or proving their opinion, they get busy with the proving.