Auxiliary Fe or Te?

[Shaedow]

What I'm trying to gain clarity between, if I favour feeling over thinking or thinking over feeling, more specifically Fe/Te.
I have narrowed things down to INxJ. MBTI wise I'm quite sure about the I and N.

Generally speaking much more often people have pointed me towards Ni dom. The other type has been socionics INFj, with strong (but devalued) Ni being a factor. IRL the people who I have the easiest communication with have been INTJ or INFJ. I relate to the Ni description, and I do not relate to how Ne (Dom aux) seems to manifest in people. If you want to challenge the conception I may not be Ni dom I am happy to listen.

Now my T/F score are close, and tend to favour thinking slightly. Online I tend to come across as an NF. IRL a friend of mine who is quite proficient with typology thinks I fit INTJ more so.

What I am aware of, in conversation I am generally more interested in things than people (or how people work, not so much what's going on in their life). Often I will bring up facts (studies, information, data) and expand on them or use them to support my claim. Often I come across as neutral to others as I am delivering information not my opinion. I can also come across as judgmental at times using more closed statements than questioning. Generally if I see a contradiction with what I know, or I can't see their idea working, I will question it and explain why it contradicts/won't work, so I can come across as blunt and honest.
So I'm seeing elements of thinking here.

I am also generally aware of how people are going to react. If it's going to results in conflict which won't be resolved I will avoid this path. To me it has been about consequence of action and taking the best course of action. I can pick up on other peoples insecurities, and adjust myself to avoid them. I am also very tolerant of others, generally accepting of what they value. I can be diplomatic with people and will make an effort to be polite.
I'm seeing elements of feeling here.

I have noticed in my late teens/ early 20s that I needed to be more open emotionally with others. This includes making an effort to be more appreciative of others, to give positive feedback, being aware that people who are happier are more likely to be helpful. It also included explicitly stating my feelings to others (more so when dating as this not knowing dance does not work and I don't like guessing). I have since become more aware of emotional connections and distance between me and others. I am much more aware of my emotional landscape and I am actively seeking to figure out what is actually important to me. Whilst I have had an understanding of how my mind works, there is now more weight in what is important. I just think the next step for me is to have strong values I can hold to as my decisions so far in life encompassed what works, not what makes me happy.
To me this suggests I am developing my feeling.


Now either this is my auxiliary coming through which suggests NF type fits. Or I'm focusing on my tertiary function. Life is more stressful now for me leading to focus on feeling.
Maybe perhaps the way I was raised has distorted things. I had little opportunity to express feelings or emotions growing up. If I was in trouble I was yelled at, If I cried I was yelled at for crying. Behaviour was never explained, rather because I didn't know why was why I shouldn't do that.

I am happy to answer any questions you have

 

[Mal12345]

Answer these questions
Myers-Briggs: Are You Thinking Or Feeling? | BrainFall

 

[Shaedow]

Answer these questions
Myers-Briggs: Are You Thinking Or Feeling? | BrainFall

You are 70% Thinking and 30% Feeling, you are a Compassionate Thinker!

However there were a couple of questions where I could go either way. Redoing the test selecting for those:
You are 50% Thinking and 50% Feeling, you are Evenly Balanced!

So my average would be 60% thinker I guess.

 

[Mal12345]

I will go with INTJ for your type, with Fi-tertiary developing "I am much more aware of my emotional landscape and I am actively seeking to figure out what is actually important to me."

 

[Norrsken]

What I'm trying to gain clarity between, if I favour feeling over thinking or thinking over feeling, more specifically Fe/Te.
I have narrowed things down to INxJ. MBTI wise I'm quite sure about the I and N.

Generally speaking much more often people have pointed me towards Ni dom. The other type has been socionics INFj, with strong (but devalued) Ni being a factor. IRL the people who I have the easiest communication with have been INTJ or INFJ. I relate to the Ni description, and I do not relate to how Ne (Dom aux) seems to manifest in people. If you want to challenge the conception I may not be Ni dom I am happy to listen.

Now my T/F score are close, and tend to favour thinking slightly. Online I tend to come across as an NF. IRL a friend of mine who is quite proficient with typology thinks I fit INTJ more so.

First off, welcome to Typology Central! I hope you enjoy your stay here.
Edit: Ah, I just saw that you joined last year. Either way, hi!

What I am aware of, in conversation I am generally more interested in things than people (or how people work, not so much what's going on in their life). Often I will bring up facts (studies, information, data) and expand on them or use them to support my claim. Often I come across as neutral to others as I am delivering information not my opinion. I can also come across as judgmental at times using more closed statements than questioning. Generally if I see a contradiction with what I know, or I can't see their idea working, I will question it and explain why it contradicts/won't work, so I can come across as blunt and honest.
So I'm seeing elements of thinking here.

These strongly point to you using Te way over using Fe, so you are quite correct there.

I am also generally aware of how people are going to react. If it's going to results in conflict which won't be resolved I will avoid this path. To me it has been about consequence of action and taking the best course of action. I can pick up on other peoples insecurities, and adjust myself to avoid them.

Kind of reminds me of Ni as you seem to be using your intuition in guessing how an event will develop due to you picking up signs and clues of what's going to happen in the future.

I am also very tolerant of others, generally accepting of what they value. I can be diplomatic with people and will make an effort to be polite.
I'm seeing elements of feeling here.

The first sentence sounds like Fi, and yet the second one sort of strikes me as Fe. However, Fi users can definitely be friendly and polite, just like Fe users can be rude and callous if they want to be.
Either way, you seem much more T-oriented than F-oriented.

I have noticed in my late teens/ early 20s that I needed to be more open emotionally with others. This includes making an effort to be more appreciative of others, to give positive feedback, being aware that people who are happier are more likely to be helpful. It also included explicitly stating my feelings to others (more so when dating as this not knowing dance does not work and I don't like guessing). I have since become more aware of emotional connections and distance between me and others. I am much more aware of my emotional landscape and I am actively seeking to figure out what is actually important to me. Whilst I have had an understanding of how my mind works, there is now more weight in what is important. I just think the next step for me is to have strong values I can hold to as my decisions so far in life encompassed what works, not what makes me happy.
To me this suggests I am developing my feeling.

This is great to read and I'm glad you are taking the steps in developing yourself into a more well rounded human being. I think the biggest hurdle that Te-users go through is learning that life is richly complex in it's emotional undertones and that other people do have feelings that should be respected, even if the Te-user deems them inappropriate or over dramatic. Introverts in general also have to be careful of how they come across since they perceive first (Fi, Ni, Si, Ti) and judge after (Fe, Ne, Se, Te) and they may not react fast enough or appropriately enough like extraverts can easily do.

Remember that we all use the entire spectrum of the 8 cognitive functions. It looks like you are working on your Fe, which is a challenge for IxTJ and ExTJ types since it is not in their first four functional stackings. Take your time with this, and you're doing a great job so far!

Now either this is my auxiliary coming through which suggests NF type fits. Or I'm focusing on my tertiary function. Life is more stressful now for me leading to focus on feeling.
Maybe perhaps the way I was raised has distorted things. I had little opportunity to express feelings or emotions growing up. If I was in trouble I was yelled at, If I cried I was yelled at for crying. Behaviour was never explained, rather because I didn't know why was why I shouldn't do that.

I am so sorry that you were raised in such a fashion. It is incredibly difficult to unlearn what you have been taught from childhood. The important thing to remember that Thinkers can definitely have emotions and definitely do cry when overwhelmed, as is the case with my family members, whom the majority are Thinking types themselves.

I am happy to answer any questions you have

Which ones would you be more naturally inclined to:

1. I am someone who focuses on how to live in a moral way. I stand up for what I believe in, and enjoy speaking up for the underdog.
2. I am attentive to social norms and take care to not step on other people's emotions. I am group oriented, even the smaller ones.

You can also take this fun quiz if you like: INFJ or INTJ?

Hope I helped some!

 

[Shaedow]

First off, welcome to Typology Central! I hope you enjoy your stay here.
Edit: Ah, I just saw that you joined last year. Either way, hi!

Haha no worries. I may not have posted much

These strongly point to you using Te way over using Fe, so you are quite correct there.

Thats good, so the aspects I'm seeing as thinking are confirmed as thinking.

Kind of reminds me of Ni as you seem to be using your intuition in guessing how an event will develop due to you picking up signs and clues of what's going to happen in the future.

The first sentence sounds like Fi, and yet the second one sort of strikes me as Fe. However, Fi users can definitely be friendly and polite, just like Fe users can be rude and callous if they want to be.
Either way, you seem much more T-oriented than F-oriented.

The politeness I think comes from what I was taught (hmm maybe more drilled in) in my childhood and from my mum. Generally I do it as it makes it easier to deal with people. These days I'm a lot more authentic about it (I actually mean that thank you).

This is great to read and I'm glad you are taking the steps in developing yourself into a more well rounded human being. I think the biggest hurdle that Te-users go through is learning that life is richly complex in it's emotional undertones and that other people do have feelings that should be respected, even if the Te-user deems them inappropriate or over dramatic. Introverts in general also have to be careful of how they come across since they perceive first (Fi, Ni, Si, Ti) and judge after (Fe, Ne, Se, Te) and they may not react fast enough or appropriately enough like extraverts can easily do.

Remember that we all use the entire spectrum of the 8 cognitive functions. It looks like you are working on your Fe, which is a challenge for IxTJ and ExTJ types since it is not in their first four functional stackings. Take your time with this, and you're doing a great job so far!

The steps taken are more due to hitting my head against a brick wall repeatedly does not work lol.

Oh yes. My reaction is not fast enough. I guess that's where foreseeing what's likely to happen does help so I can mentally prepare beforehand. I just can't trust my initial reaction to things as it can be misplaced.

I have seen how useful Fe is in generating group camaraderie. I have noticed it's not something I actively do, and it can at times grate on me when my focus is on getting the task done rather than finding our other peoples personal stuff. I can appreciate how this helps members feel included, are happier working, better communication and less drama/conflict/distractions as a result.

I am so sorry that you were raised in such a fashion. It is incredibly difficult to unlearn what you have been taught from childhood. The important thing to remember that Thinkers can definitely have emotions and definitely do cry when overwhelmed, as is the case with my family members, whom the majority are Thinking types themselves.

The funny thing is it's not something I considered 'that bad' as it seemed normal. It's only the last few years in life I'm reflecting and realising it was incredibly unhelpful, and I have no clue what a good relationship looks like. Really I was being taught my feelings don't matter, which is why I consider the possibility of an NF type taught not to F.

I guess if I look at it, I have researched, looked at evidence and analysed the situation to come to the conclusion how I was raised was not the best and what is the best direction is to take. Which is more a thinking process.

Which ones would you be more naturally inclined to:

1. I am someone who focuses on how to live in a moral way. I stand up for what I believe in, and enjoy speaking up for the underdog.
2. I am attentive to social norms and take care to not step on other people's emotions. I am group oriented, even the smaller ones.

1. This is what I am currently seeking as I see this as the next step forwards. I want that strong foundation to know what I want, what is congruent with myself. It's been sparked reaching the end of my degree which practically makes sense, yet I don't like it. And realising there is a lot I don't like yet I tolerate in my life from other people. They dynamic at home does not work. The dynamic in my relationship does not work for me. If I know beyond doubt what my boundaries are then I'm not able to be emotionally manipulated by others based on their wants or standards, and I'm not going to take responsibility for others emotional insecurities unless I choose to.


2. The part I relate to is taking care not to step on others emotions. This is what I naturally have been doing.
Partly I feel it's not my place to get in the way of other people, partly I believe its the conditioning I learnt growing up. If I did something wrong then my parents were mad at me (be that yelled at or passive aggressive behaviour).
Even the other day I offended my sister in law unintentionally about something that was true. I had both my mum and brother pressuring me to apologise. They wanted me to take responsibility for someone else's emotional insecurity. I knew if I said no then I'd also have my mums moral judgments of me to deal with and passive aggressive behaviour.

I don't care for social norms, or the norms of the group. I care much less if what is valued by the group can be proven by evidence to be untrue/harmful. I prefer to let individuals value what they want, and to let me make my own choices.

You can also take this fun quiz if you like: INFJ or INTJ?

Hope I helped some!

Thank you for responding. Yes there has been some clarity
I'll give the quiz a go (I like quizzes).

 

[Shaedow]

You can also take this fun quiz if you like: INFJ or INTJ?

The test was fun. Results:

INFJ 59%
INTJ 41%

 

[Norrsken]

The test was fun. Results:

INFJ 59%
INTJ 41%

You can also take a look at this and see if any of it resonates with you. I know some INFJs can come across as INTJs due to being a Ni-variety rather than a Fe-variety, what with your Ti may be way more developed than your Fe due to your childhood lessons on emotions. You may, in fact, be a INFJ-Ni subtype. Your enneagram will also have a dramatic effect of how your MBTI will come across to other people, as one INFJ type 5 may be way more logical appearing than an INFJ type 3, for example.

 

[Mayflower]

I noticed that Fe and Te are the most demonstrative of all the functions since they are the actual 'doing' with an extroverted flair. With Ni as your dominant function, which one are you more comfortable using. I consider Je as control functions as they often act as well as reference in relation to their environment. Fe will "say how is this valued in relation to others?" (keeps Ti from being too self-impersonal) Te will say "just get results" (Fi being there to counteract the 'end justifies the means' method).

Example
Te/Fi: "This way is the most efficient and productive (Te) but is it the right way of going about it? (Fi)
Fe/Ti: "Everyone seems to like this way, so I guess it's fine (Fe) but does it fit within my logical consistent framework? (Ti)

 

[Shaedow]

Type 9 seems to fit me.

Looking at the Ni INFJ subtype.
What I relate to:

• I guess 'dreamer' fits - It's more the direction I want to travel rather than a dream.
• Defiantly hopeful for the future
• I do like to take my time.
• I can be hesitant and indecisive, especially in the moment.
• Don't care for stereotypes or convention.
• Enjoy conversations of unconventional phenomenon - I notice I tend to focus on where things are going or the implications.
• I can be diplomatic, not sure if I'd say outstanding.
• Can be absent minded
• Have a tolerance for others weakness/flaws
• I do try to maintain smooth relationships
• I do try to meet the demands family place on me.
• I don't take sides in disputes
• Yep I'd say I have patience and the ability to wait for the right time.

What I don't relate to:

• Reviewing memories - I don't spend time recalling experiences from the past. I do not remember memories in such detail. More only what generally happened. I do like to learn from my mistakes.
• Aversion to leadership - Whilst I don't seek out leadership, it's hasn't been uncommon for me to assume such a role if no one else has stepped up.
• Struggle to be organized - I can be organised. I don't see it as an area of struggle.
• Distracted by irrelevant, minor things - I am generally not distracted by minor things. I am good at prioritizing my time and knowing what should be done now, and what is unnecessary.
• Poor economical or entrepreneurial judgment - I can be economical. I enjoy streamlining processes to reduce time taken or budgeting. It's not difficult for me.
• Does not break immediately from exhausted relationships - I don't quite understand what is meant when 'relationships are exhausted'. I have become more restrictive of my friendships and have let go of friendships that weren't positive or offered something beneficial in some way.

 

[Shaedow]

I noticed that Fe and Te are the most demonstrative of all the functions since they are the actual 'doing' with an extroverted flair. With Ni as your dominant function, which one are you more comfortable using. I consider Je as control functions as they often act as well as reference in relation to their environment. Fe will "say how is this valued in relation to others?" (keeps Ti from being too self-impersonal) Te will say "just get results" (Fi being there to counteract the 'end justifies the means' method).

Example
Te/Fi: "This way is the most efficient and productive (Te) but is it the right way of going about it? (Fi)
Fe/Ti: "Everyone seems to like this way, so I guess it's fine (Fe) but does it fit within my logical consistent framework? (Ti)

And being in relation to the environment, I can see it being situational.

"This way is more efficient and productive" depends on the end goal. Yes I like to streamline a process as generally I have low energy levels.
Other times it's, "i'm doing it this way because I want to, I like it, or I find it relaxing, etc".

Other people do come into the equation. That is if I do it this way, person x is not going to like it. They will probably get upset, question, judge, and get caught up on unnecessary details (which is based on their values). So instead I'll do it the way person x prefers, which is easier for me to deal with.

"if everyone, (or a single person) likes doing it this way, then that's fine." I'm happy to let them do their thing as I'd like them to let me do my thing.

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

INTJ seems like a better fit for you. People with feeling only are a weaker species; people with just thinking do just ok. I've seen a super hard nerd coder, good at their job, a leader who was INFJ. INFJ is a versatile type, they may have wicked logic within them, but sometimes not. INTJ do something what I call a "synthesis of emotions" sometimes. You don't seem to do that. I'd say you're a person who's feelings and thinking are nicely in balance and developed, you're in between. Designation of certain MBTI type might not help you alot. You already have lot of consideration to offer for many subjects. If I'd have to guess, I'd say INTJ.