I wonder how much INFP's and INFJ's have trouble with their opposites,
There are very very few people I really can't get along with in real life, and they are usually disliked by many other people too, ie they are people with *real* personality problems, no matter what their MBTI type may be. I'm just more likely to be the one trying to get along with them for a long time and then exploding in their face, while others will be more likely to use rude means to keep them at arm's length at all times.
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But I do know how it feels to be jabbered at incessantly by someone who can't stop talking long enough to allow me to participate in the conversation, all the while being forced by societal duty to pretend I'm enjoying myself!
Who doesn't? I've been in such situations many times. Yes it's annoying, but I've simply learned the art of going "hm-mmh" at crucial points and letting them go on with the "conversation" while doing my own thing in my head. Annoying, but no big deal, and certainly not enough to go all judgemental and ranty on them!
I quite agree with you, but sometimes a person just needs to vent and get his frustration off his chest and have people validate his feelings.
Nobody will get validation from me when they start by demolishing somebody else's character
What goes around comes around: you demolish them, I demolish you.
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If I was in your shoes, I would make a joke out of her shallow/bs talk while steering the conversation into Ne/Ti land. Once there, keep it there and take control of the conversation.
That's what I was thinking too
Like for example, go all Mr Spock on her: "Fascinating!" and start deconstructing everything she says. Chances are *she*'s the one who'll want to avoid you after you do that a couple of times
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To be fair, although the OP doesn't give enough information for us to agree wholesale with the judgement, it also doesn't give us enough to disagree as strongly as some people are, or to judge ImNotTooPopular quite as harshly as some people are.
See below for my explanation of what went on in my head when I read the OP.
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The more you guys pick on ImNotTooPopular, the more sorry I feel for him.
It's like almost everyone is bullying him.
Sure the OP came across as young, arrogant and judgmental. Most people do when they're frustrated. He came in here looking to have his frustration validated, and instead he's getting is a lecture about what a horrible person he is.
I never got the feeling that he wanted to have his frustration validated. The feeling I got was that he had judged this one girl, done deal, and now he was asking whether he could extend this judgement to her entire type.
People who talk too much and impose themselves in your life without respecting the boundaries are considered rude by all people everywhere!
I would agree... IF he HAD publicly set his own boundaries! But he hasn't. He just expects her to know where they are.
Nowhere in the rule books of polite society does it say "feel free to talk too much about whatever gushes to your mind, and oh, make sure you don't breathe, so the other person can't get a word in edgewise."
What "rule books of polite society" are you talking about, exactly? To be more precise: I don't think this girl is using the same ones as you are. She probably wouldn't have any problem with someone doing to her what she does to others. Isn't it one of the main points of typology that what is obvious to one type can be totally absurd to another?
Pardon me, but that is NOT a formula for success in life.
Not true. I know many people like that, and they are well-loved and succesful.
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And now for the detailed explanation of why the OP pisses me off so badly.
First of, the title of the thread: "Are all ESFJs like this?" Bad start. Very bad start. First because the answer is obvious: no. ESFJs, just like all other types, come in all shapes. Just like it wouldn't be accurate to say "all INTPs are like this or like that", it is ridiculous to even wonder if all ESFJs are like this or like that. That's BASIC typology.
Second because of the *location* of the thread: the SJ Guardhouse. You don't come to someone's house and crap all over. You just don't. Period.
So, now I end up working with this fat ESFJ girl,
Fat. Why mention that she's fat? Why do people usually mention that someone is fat when they start a story? Right: to inform their listeners right from the beginning that this person is the "baddie". And you confirmed this later on, ImNotTooPopular: you said she was fat so that we wouldn't go thinking that this girl is one of those popular and attractive ESFJs. Ie: she's a baddie.
Unfortunately, I don't like it when people start by telling me what I'm supposed to think about someone. It's called MANIPULATION, and I hate it just as much as you do. Weird, huh?
Again: I don't like it when people tell me what to think of someone. Just because it's your opinion doesn't mean it's a fact. You, an INTP, should know that better than most. If you had said "she annoys me so much", it would have been completely different. But no, you said "she's annoying", and that pissed me off big time.
She basically goes up to anyone and starts talking about simple, boring, everyday stuff like her roomate stealing her toilet paper and how she likes to eat cake.
Is that supposed to be any kind of justification for your judgement that she is "annoying"?? Because it sure isn't, not to me! I know tons of people like that and they sure aren't annoying just because they are like that.
And again with the "think as I want you to think" manipulation, by the way: simple, everyday stuff is boring. No, sorry, that's your opinion, that's not a fact.
She's always quick to come up with stupid judgements (notice the SJ) about me.
SJ bashing. Another bad strike.
She'll ask me to do stuff because she's too lazy to do it herself,
Example? Because you see, now that you have demonstrated that you have no qualms presenting your highly subjective opinions as facts, I just can't take your word on anything anymore.
and if I don't oblige, she says stuff like I'm mean.
You sure *sound* mean...
Maybe she's right when she says I'm rude, but I'm an INTP. DEAL WITH IT!
First major MBTI blunder: being INTP is not, has never been, and never will be an excuse for being rude. It IS an excuse for being oblivious to social expectations, yes, but not for being rude.
Second major MBTI blunder: being of any type is not an excuse for being an egotistic jerk who expects everyone else to conform to their rules. That works for you just as much as for her.
If you want fluff or sensitivity, go talk to some F type.
Except, of course, that she doesn't even KNOW about all that F type stuff, because you can't be bothered to TELL her about it. IOW, you want her to mind-read you. Again with the egotistic self-centeredness.
My ENTP friend and I discussed how ESFJs have this way of trying to manipulate people with their stupid judgements, but how it doesn't work with us.
Except, of course, that it DOES - just not in the way they want to. If you can't see just how strongly you are reacting to that girl's manipulation, then you are being incredibly blind.
Personally, when ESFJ girl says I'm mean, I just stand there thinking, "You're an idiot."
How is "you're an idiot" any less of a judgement than "you're mean"??
I know better than to tell her anything personal or meaningful because after two or three days, everyone in the whole damn store is gonna know about it. So pretty much I just stand there and mirror her level of interaction, by saying no more than boring everyday crap. Of course, sometimes we need to talk about work related stuff, so that works out okay.
Is all this supposed to somehow make her look bad, or something? Because to me it sounds like perfectly normal everyday life interaction with co-workers.
Yesterday, she asked me for a ride home later and my automatic response was NO.
That IS mean. Refusing to help someone without any reason is mean. You can choose to be mean, of course, but don't come and complain when people call you just that: mean.
Then she said something about not giving a "friend" a ride home. I almost told her, "You're not my friend. You're someone who stands in front of me and goes blah blah blah."
I understand what you mean. What I don't understand is how this is supposed to make you look any better than her.
Really, this girl doesn't know a thing about me. I haven't even mentioned a thing to her about my interest in personality theories.
First, what does it matter whether she knows anything about you or not? Some people are extremely inclusive in their circle of friends, and she sounds like she's one of those people. She counts you as a friend because she spends so much time around you. Nothing wrong or horrible about that.
Second, you're blaming her for your actions again. You don't share yourself, and then you blame her for not knowing you.
So honestly, what exactly am I supposed to get from that post?? Because what I DO get is:
1- You're mean and impolite.
2- You're incredibly egocentric, expecting people to live by your rules, to know what you're thinking, and to know the bits of knowledge you're withholding from them.
3- You're blind to your own excessive emotions even while blaming that girl for being so emotional.
4- You're breaking some of the most basic rules of typology.
5- And most irritatingly of all: you're manipulative and arrogant.
If that's supposed to make me think "poor you", then it has failed abysmally, to say the least
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I'm not picking on him unreasonably! 
