Little Linguist
Striving for balance
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2008
- Messages
- 6,880
- MBTI Type
- xNFP
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/so
Question: Is there any way I can develop the skill of analyzing and summing up situations immediately so that I can simply react in an appropriate fashion at the time when the situation occurs?
I'm really sick of thinking of all the great things I could have/should have said after the fact.
Does anyone else have the tendency to analyze things first after the fact? It really gets my goat because at the time when something happens, I will not be able to react spontaneously in a correct fashion. Especially if something is shocking, I will simply be shocked and keep silent. I will have a 'gut feeling' indeed, "I feel something. Something's wrong here. What is she REALLY saying," but I won't be able to assess until I have quiet, so I simply go about my business until I have that quiet time.
Then, on the way home on the bus or train, I will sit and think about the situation. Insights bombard my brain in a kind of, "Aha!!!!!" fashion.
The most aggravating part is that these insights do not come to me immediately - especially not at work, where my energy is directed outward. It is only in moments of silence and reflection that these insights dawn upon me out of the blue, after pondering, sifting, and analyzing in great depth.
As a result, most people underestimate me probably because they think I don't get it or even don't think at all. But I need QUIET to think, or I cannot THINK. When I'm really extraverted and teaching, I am so focused on other matters that I cannot process my ideas and sift until afterwards.
Now, in matters where I have a great deal of experience, like teaching, I can react spontaneously because I have so much knowledge and experience that if someone asks me something, I will generally know the answer or know where to find it.
However, today I was confronted with a situation regarding the business and the future implications, and I was so overwhelmed that I could not calm my mind and focus. So I simply wait, say nothing, have my weird insights/feelings, but wait until afterwards to analyze.
When I then explain situations to my husband, he'll demand accusingly, "Well, why didn't you tell HER that? IF you just keep quiet, people will think you're stupid and don't get it. You get it: you just don't say anything. OPEN YOUR MOUTH," which is kind of ironic because I'm talkative and outgoing the rest of the time.
It's SO FRUSTRATING. Grrr. I really want to get over this negative habit.
I'm really sick of thinking of all the great things I could have/should have said after the fact.
Does anyone else have the tendency to analyze things first after the fact? It really gets my goat because at the time when something happens, I will not be able to react spontaneously in a correct fashion. Especially if something is shocking, I will simply be shocked and keep silent. I will have a 'gut feeling' indeed, "I feel something. Something's wrong here. What is she REALLY saying," but I won't be able to assess until I have quiet, so I simply go about my business until I have that quiet time.
Then, on the way home on the bus or train, I will sit and think about the situation. Insights bombard my brain in a kind of, "Aha!!!!!" fashion.
The most aggravating part is that these insights do not come to me immediately - especially not at work, where my energy is directed outward. It is only in moments of silence and reflection that these insights dawn upon me out of the blue, after pondering, sifting, and analyzing in great depth.
As a result, most people underestimate me probably because they think I don't get it or even don't think at all. But I need QUIET to think, or I cannot THINK. When I'm really extraverted and teaching, I am so focused on other matters that I cannot process my ideas and sift until afterwards.
Now, in matters where I have a great deal of experience, like teaching, I can react spontaneously because I have so much knowledge and experience that if someone asks me something, I will generally know the answer or know where to find it.
However, today I was confronted with a situation regarding the business and the future implications, and I was so overwhelmed that I could not calm my mind and focus. So I simply wait, say nothing, have my weird insights/feelings, but wait until afterwards to analyze.
When I then explain situations to my husband, he'll demand accusingly, "Well, why didn't you tell HER that? IF you just keep quiet, people will think you're stupid and don't get it. You get it: you just don't say anything. OPEN YOUR MOUTH," which is kind of ironic because I'm talkative and outgoing the rest of the time.
It's SO FRUSTRATING. Grrr. I really want to get over this negative habit.