Am I a 4 or 5 core?

[Maou]

Ok, well the internalise/externalise/repress + anger/shame/fear, is like the foundation that I build my enneagram knowledge on. I'm not an expert on it like I am with Jungian type. So that's all the help I can give.

If you want me to describe my feelings, I can. If I had to choose what emotions I feel the most, out of what you have given me. I tend to feel frustration more than anything. That can be interpreted as anger and shame at the same time. I however, rarely express anger. I also never express fear, because well. I am rarely afraid of anything unless it's physical confrontation. In real life confrontations, I am rather withdrawn and quiet in uncomfortable situations (as well as being rather anti-confrontational). Yet get me in my element, and I am easily excitable and loud. Being online allows me to express myself more freely, and then I've only myself to blame when I fuck up. If I had to label the emotion that I feel in real life that prevents me from being myself. It is probably shame. Like, I know I am weird. I know very well how I stick out. Yet I want to stick out, but also don't want to at the same time. It is a constant back and forth. I tend to prefer sticking out in the end, because blending in feels so boring

 

[Pionart]

If you want me to describe my feelings, I can. If I had to choose what emotions I feel the most, out of what you have given me. I tend to feel frustration more than anything. That can be interpreted as anger and shame at the same time. I however, rarely express anger. I also never express fear, because well. I am rarely afraid of anything unless it's physical confrontation. In real life confrontations, I am rather withdrawn and quiet in uncomfortable situations (as well as being rather anti-confrontational). Yet get me in my element, and I am easily excitable and loud. Being online allows me to express myself more freely, and then I've only myself to blame when I fuck up. If I had to label the emotion that I feel in real life that prevents me from being myself. It is probably shame. Like, I know I am weird. I know very well how I stick out. Yet I want to stick out, but also don't want to at the same time. It is a constant back and forth. I tend to prefer sticking out in the end, because blending in feels so boring

Actually, frustration is a term i would use for a mild form of anger. It may be shame related for you. 1s are angry at themselves, so always want to be the best, 8s are angry at the world, so use confrontation to shape their surroundings, 9s have a generalised anger that they try to keep at bay with a peaceful mindset. The same pattern goes for the other types.

With 4s, the feeling different is more a result of the shame, rather than the shame being about being different. Shame directed inwardly can cause a person to shape their personality from the inside to match their ideal. 5s are afraid of the world, and withdraw as well, but not for introspection but rather to simply keep to themselves and learn.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

PM me (if ya want) and let's find out. I'm happy enough to be a sounding board in your search for self.

 

[Tomb1]

ILE-Ti 6w5 sx/sp...the way you size people/events up contains a projection of hostility and distrust atypical for fours and fives. For example, you voiced a complaint to moderation in the past about dischord being vulnerable to members posing as other members in order to frame them for things they did not do out of dislike or overall malicious intent. There's that example times 100 where this projection-of-hostility and anticipation-of-attack/ill intent shows up over and over again. This level of suspicion and vindictive imagination is not present in either fours or fives and is the 6w5 (vigilant-self-protective gestalt). Also not picking up on the four's baseline of totally inhabiting, bleeding, intensifying subjective-feeling states...I don't see that as central to your gestalt. As for type five, I just think you're too grounded...I see you probably closest to Xann (ILI-Ni 6w5 sx/sp) but ILE-Ti....I can see where you think four (xann mistyped 5w4), but I think what you're confusing as four is general sx/sp stuff.

 

[Luminous]

you voiced a complaint to moderation in the past about dischord being vulnerable to members posing as other members in order to frame them for things they did not do out of dislike or overall malicious intent. There's that example times 100 where this projection-of-hostility and anticipation-of-attack/ill intent shows up over and over again. This level of suspicion and vindictive imagination

I realize that is just an example, but I feel the need to point out that it did actually happen. It was not imagined.

 

[Maou]

ILE-Ti 6w5 sx/sp...the way you size people/events up contains a projection of hostility and distrust atypical for fours and fives. For example, you voiced a complaint to moderation in the past about dischord being vulnerable to members posing as other members in order to frame them for things they did not do out of dislike or overall malicious intent. There's that example times 100 where this projection-of-hostility and anticipation-of-attack/ill intent shows up over and over again. This level of suspicion and vindictive imagination is not present in either fours or fives and is the 6w5 (vigilant-self-protective gestalt). Also not picking up on the four's baseline of totally inhabiting, bleeding, intensifying subjective-feeling states...I don't see that as central to your gestalt. As for type five, I just think you're too grounded...I see you probably closest to Xann (ILI-Ni 6w5 sx/sp) but ILE-Ti....I can see where you think four (xann mistyped 5w4), but I think what you're confusing as four is general sx/sp stuff.

I did pose a question to the moderation team. But that was on behalf of someone else, not on my own accord. They asked me to pose that question for them, and since I have prior experience in forum moderation. I knew how to ask it, and did it as a favor. I have no idea what happened with that behind the scenes with the people involved, or what they did. If anyone wants to enlighten me on why Forever was banned (the person who wanted me to ask) please feel free. I can say I was also curious to know if the mods had such an extention of power to ban people based on private discord dm's. I also explained more from a perspective of how it could be abused. Not that I was sure the abuse was happening. I am also not really graceful in my approaches.

Are you basing everything off of the politics threads? I would like an example of this behavior outside of it. A lot of my defensiveness is the result of emotional abuse, but it only occurs when I am attacked unjustly. Which happens to be common in politics because I am both outnumbered, and disrespected. Others of different types also tend to react similarly to myself when they are the minority in the politics section. It isn't exclusive to me.

Behaviors do not signify motivation.

Did you ever read my blog?