[Type 9] 9w1s, sound off like you got a pair!

[tinker683]

Hello,

Just looking to meet and greet with my fellow 9w1s OR looking for stories (good, bad, everything in-between) of experiences with 9w1s. The truth is I don't have a lot of experience with Enneagrams so I'm eager to learn and discover

 

[mcgooglian]

9w1s are fun to troll when they get conflict avoidant. I'm a 9w8 and I had one 9w1 friend and we had very different approaches to conflict. Where he'd get avoidant, I'd focus on trying to resolve the issue. I remember one time where there was some sort of conflict going on (I can't remember exactly what it was) but it involved him making a decision, so he got extremely avoidant and I was just there the whole time poking and prodding him to try to get him to actually get up and do something.

 

[Chaotic Harmony]

Ha! I kind of sort of might have given my husband a little bit of attitude on Wednesday. I'm tired of listening to his family whine and cry about everything, but never taking any steps to fix the issues. So I told my husband that I wasn't in the mood to deal with them and to just drop me off at home so I could work on some photo editing instead. So.. Yeah...I totally "avoided conflict" by telling my husband I didn't want to go to his parents. Surprisingly, he didn't push the issue. I must've had the "only child" attitude look.

In all honesty... I can handle conflict... I just don't like to. So unless it's something I'm adamantly against, I'll usually cave and just agree to whatever the other person wants. Though there are times where I'm pretty damn stubborn and refuse to agree on anything....that usually results in me hiding in my room until the problem just goes away.

*Backs away from thread slowly, as to avoid drawing attention to herself*

 

[Lux]

I'm a 9w1 sx/sp and naturally I am pretty conflict adverse.. It makes me very very uneasy.. For a while now, I've been focusing (daily) on being more assertive, and honestly it's worked out very very well. In my job I HAVE to be assertive and directive, so I sort of had a crash course in it (ENTJ & ESTJ bosses). Plus I work with about 80 type A people, so I can't be so passive, I'd get lost.

 

[tinker683]

Ha! I kind of sort of might have given my husband a little bit of attitude on Wednesday. I'm tired of listening to his family whine and cry about everything, but never taking any steps to fix the issues. So I told my husband that I wasn't in the mood to deal with them and to just drop me off at home so I could work on some photo editing instead. So.. Yeah...I totally "avoided conflict" by telling my husband I didn't want to go to his parents. Surprisingly, he didn't push the issue. I must've had the "only child" attitude look.

In all honesty... I can handle conflict... I just don't like to. So unless it's something I'm adamantly against, I'll usually cave and just agree to whatever the other person wants. Though there are times where I'm pretty damn stubborn and refuse to agree on anything....that usually results in me hiding in my room until the problem just goes away.

*Backs away from thread slowly, as to avoid drawing attention to herself*

I hear ya! I dislike conflict conflict very much but once the gloves have to go off...I'm not afraid to bite. Aggressive outbursts can accomplish a lot I've noticed.

 

[tinker683]

I'm a 9w1 sx/sp and naturally I am pretty conflict adverse.. It makes me very very uneasy.. For a while now, I've been focusing (daily) on being more assertive, and honestly it's worked out very very well. In my job I HAVE to be assertive and directive, so I sort of had a crash course in it (ENTJ & ESTJ bosses). Plus I work with about 80 type A people, so I can't be so passive, I'd get lost.

I work in real estate property management and conflict is a normal part of the job. I've had to learn to stand up for myself and while it certainly hasn't been easy, it's been very rewarding

 

[Joehobo]

I really don't get this conflict avoidance. I'm usually in your face if I'm pissed. LOL.

EDIT: The internet doesn't count... ^_^

 

[Cartesian Theater]

Umm... I don't... know... what a 9w1 story would be? I'm fairly averse to conflict, but I will also get up in someone's face if I have a problem with them. One time when I was 7 I got really mad because this bully (who was 11) kept picking on the other kids. So I built up the courage to storm up to him, stared him in the face, and started screaming at him about how mean he was and how I wasn't afraid of him, and he would get what was coming to him someday, etc. He looked completely stunned, stood there for a minute, and just walked away.

 

[Chaotic Harmony]

Ha! So it seems most of the 9w1s are similar around here... We'd prefer to avoid conflict, but by golly if you want a piece we'll get in your face about it!

 

[Joehobo]

Rage of the 9.

 

[Kayness]

9w1s are fun to troll when they get conflict avoidant. I'm a 9w8 and I had one 9w1 friend and we had very different approaches to conflict. Where he'd get avoidant, I'd focus on trying to resolve the issue. I remember one time where there was some sort of conflict going on (I can't remember exactly what it was) but it involved him making a decision, so he got extremely avoidant and I was just there the whole time poking and prodding him to try to get him to actually get up and do something.

really? I'd say 9w1s are the least fun people on earth to troll ....at least for me, I just slink back into the shadows and just stop responding. sooo yeah, really, not that much entertainment for the trolls.

I have a feeling that's why I don't get that many people trolling me when I was on PerC...but then again I'm not sure because of that or because Stephen was a mod XD Maybe both!

 

[Eugene Watson VIII]

9w1s are fun to troll when they get conflict avoidant. I'm a 9w8 and I had one 9w1 friend and we had very different approaches to conflict. Where he'd get avoidant, I'd focus on trying to resolve the issue. I remember one time where there was some sort of conflict going on (I can't remember exactly what it was) but it involved him making a decision, so he got extremely avoidant and I was just there the whole time poking and prodding him to try to get him to actually get up and do something.

probably just him. I know only a couple of 9w1s, but it seems the 1 wing is a reflection of what we believe to be right. if we are being trolled, and our values are that it isn't worth being angry, we will follow through with it. the 1 wing will make the 9 more likely to repress and control things unlike the 8 wing, which will make the 9 more direct about it.

I'm a 9w1 and everyone likes 9s. . the only bad 9 is the 9 who never reaches his/her integration point. it gets annoying when they want comfort too much, which i'm sometimes a victim of. but a 9 will never learn and never gain anything if they don't move to it.

i'm also aware of your flinging INFPs to the moon.

 

[mcgooglian]

probably just him. I know only a couple of 9w1s, but it seems the 1 wing is a reflection of what we believe to be right. if we are being trolled, and our values are that it isn't worth being angry, we will follow through with it. the 1 wing will make the 9 more likely to repress and control things unlike the 8 wing, which will make the 9 more direct about it.

I'm a 9w1 and everyone likes 9s. . the only bad 9 is the 9 who never reaches his/her integration point. it gets annoying when they want comfort too much, which i'm sometimes a victim of. but a 9 will never learn and never gain anything if they don't move to it.

i'm also aware of your flinging INFPs to the moon.

Ahh, I see someone actually remembers that. Maybe I need to start catapulting more INFPs to the moon.
But yeah, I'm an 8-winger and I mostly troll them when they're being conflict avoidant because that's when they're usually uncomfortable and I actually want them to do something about the conflict.

 

[Ism]

really? I'd say 9w1s are the least fun people on earth to troll ....at least for me, I just slink back into the shadows and just stop responding. sooo yeah, really, not that much entertainment for the trolls.

Hello!

Yeah, 9w1 here, and I way back when I was a super downer. People couldn't even get a reaction out of me if they tried, so most of the fun-having and joke-making was left to other, more reactive participants.

I LOL at the extent to which I relate to your post, though. In school, I would always wonder why the teacher wouldn't poke fun at me like the other students, but then I realized that it would have ended kind of awkwardly, hahaha. Anything of the sort would have likely resulted in a small smile and slight chuckle. NO FUN AT ALL.

I like to think it's gotten better, though. I've mustered the confidence to talk to people and react to the things they do, which is a hell of a milestone for my little socially-impaired self.

 

[Trunks]

I got 9w1 in my tritype..

 

[scienceresearcher]

I use to hate talking about my needs in relationships because I thought it would cause conflict. I bought this book called "People Skills" by Robert Bolton and it has helped me tremendously. After years and years of holding in feelings, I finally let my feelings out to a person without waiting more than a day. It felt great and things got resolved. That has been my biggest challenge as a 9w1. I'm slowly overcoming it...

How do you relate to the replies to your thread above, tinker?

 

[tinker683]

I use to hate talking about my needs in relationships because I thought it would cause conflict. I bought this book called "People Skills" by Robert Bolton and it has helped me tremendously. After years and years of holding in feelings, I finally let my feelings out to a person without waiting more than a day. It felt great and things got resolved. That has been my biggest challenge as a 9w1. I'm slowly overcoming it...

How do you relate to the replies to your thread above, tinker?

Most of us all seem to be very similar in we don't care for conflict but will bring it the fuck on if we have too. Some of us seem to be better at expressing our emotions and potentially "rocking the boat" as it were than other. As for me, I'm still a work in progress but I am getting better. I'd like to think I'm getting out of that stage where I'm explosive in my expression of my deeper feeling (good or ill) and am getting into the stage where I'm learning to adjust the volume button on it, so to speak.

It's a long, ingratiating process...but it's worth it so I keep practicing and keep trying.

 

[Nijntje]

Hahaha! I have no idea what to do with my rage when i finally overcome the avoidant/keep it all in stage, then it comes out in this amorphous blob of randomness.

Rather like; "LOUD NOISES!!!!!!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M YELLING ABOUT AND I'M UNSURE OF THIS BUT IT SEEMS TO BE GOING OKAY....DID YOU KNOW WE HAVE A TOASTER AND I HATE IT?!"

 

[Kayness]

Hello!

Yeah, 9w1 here, and I way back when I was a super downer. People couldn't even get a reaction out of me if they tried, so most of the fun-having and joke-making was left to other, more reactive participants.

I LOL at the extent to which I relate to your post, though. In school, I would always wonder why the teacher wouldn't poke fun at me like the other students, but then I realized that it would have ended kind of awkwardly, hahaha. Anything of the sort would have likely resulted in a small smile and slight chuckle. NO FUN AT ALL.

I like to think it's gotten better, though. I've mustered the confidence to talk to people and react to the things they do, which is a hell of a milestone for my little socially-impaired self.

me too!

 

[Ryadai]

9w1s are fun to troll when they get conflict avoidant. I'm a 9w8 and I had one 9w1 friend and we had very different approaches to conflict. Where he'd get avoidant, I'd focus on trying to resolve the issue. I remember one time where there was some sort of conflict going on (I can't remember exactly what it was) but it involved him making a decision, so he got extremely avoidant and I was just there the whole time poking and prodding him to try to get him to actually get up and do something.

Are you Satan?