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ReflecTcelfeR
Guest
And...where did this thread go? LOL.
Sorry about that.
And...where did this thread go? LOL.
I respect your point of view. However, have you not expressed in the past issues of gender confusion?
And...where did this thread go? LOL.
I think it's usually pretty clear when a straight dude is just talking to you or interested in you because they find you attractive and want to be more than friends. I have found that XNFPs, particularly INFPs are really bad at recognizing/gauging this.
You can only say I'm gender confused if such things include having no desire to fit into expected gender roles. But I think that would be an inappropriate definition.
There has been cases where both of us (me and certain male friends) have been available and there has been no issue.I take you at your word.
However...
In these cases, are you available, are they available, and, how attractive are you?
These factors dictate the strength of the attraction.
Do you feel passing attraction to your female friends Synarch? If so what is it that incites it? How do you react when you feel it - do you panic and try to clear it from your mind or do you just secretly enjoy the moment?
That sounds like gender confusion to me. In practice, as a straight man how do you not fit into accepted gender roles?
^ This. Though it has only recently became this.
Passive. Gentle. Not very commanding (in spite of what some people on this forum would probably assume). Self-deprecating/sef-doubting. Unambitious. Don't want a job. Rather take care of things than be a provider. Very monogomous. Need lots of asexual affection. Can be very sensitive (to certain people). Vain. Pre-occupied with receiving love. Chatty.
Those are some psychological traits of mine that are generally considered feminine, not masculine. There are more material/superficial traits as well, but I find those pretty silly.
Like, I'm interested in clothing. Very touchy about my hair, I need to keep it long. I like to skip. I own stuffed animals. People tell me the way I stand when I'm idle looks like a woman, etc...
But I don't think any of that makes me gender confused. I have learned that they contradict what is supposedly masculine, a heterosexual man, accoridng to this society. But they don't make me less of a man to me. I do not desire to change my genitals, or refer to myself as a female. I want to have sex with women often. I am not turned-on at all by men. That's good enough for me.
Why do you feel that way?
I have recently contemplated on my friendships and how I have acted on the feelings that have arrived and the consequences that came with it. I would rather not be lonely than have something more than a friendship right now... seeing as how I have isolated myself from my friends because of my actions. And in the circle of friends I am a part of I have had feelings for core members which radiate out to the surrounding friends. I'm just tired of being lonely. I already don't relate with most people because I'm just strange luckily my strange-ness is slightly charming.
Synarch said:Why them [XNFPs] in particular?
Not necessarily. I've always had male friends though, as far back as I can remember, even in elementary school. I get along well with guys.
Do you like women like you? Or, do you like them a bit masculine?
You're never alone. Just remember that.
Why don't you contact one of your friends and let them know you miss them?
Wait...did this thread about an XNFP female asking other XNFP females to share personal experiences get hijacked by some ENTP males? You just can't stay away can you. and
I think XNFPs can be really bad at gauging boundaries and appropriate signals. There are several threads already on the forum specifically about XNFPs attracting the wrong kind of attention, etc. INFPs moreso than ENFPs, I think partially because introversion makes you more receptive/likely target to and of peoples energies and advances.
I have seen this in personal observation as well in three INFPs I have dated. It causes a lot of problems for them and in their personal relationships.
I also think personality type does play a part in how you perceive or understand your own personal beauty and how others react to it. For instance I think in general INTX women are (intellectually) aware of their beauty but don't really "care" and their personalities keep unwanted advances at bay and they don't have to worry about giving mixed signals.
Wait...did this thread about an XNFP female asking other XNFP females to share personal experiences get hijacked by some ENTP males? You just can't stay away can you. and
Wait...Is Reflect a dood? It's hard to tell ENTP gender on the forum...