Your post saddens me. Because the quietness that you don't like is Fi. Which is also a part of your own self. Either way, sooner or later, you will appreciate your friends more. And it will come from within your own self-discovery and sense of Fi. Not from your demands on them. I guarantee. There's no way an ENFP can stay on the outside forever. You can run, but you can't hide!
INFPs can live wildly if they deemed it worthy of exploration. There are a lot of clueless, young INFPs and ISFPs like myself who need to get burned enough to know that we have our hand in the fire. I did almost every drug under the sun before I was 17. Half of it wasn't even partying.. I just felt like testing my limits. Take 4 hits of acid, go to school wigging out for 7 or 8 hours, and keep a straight face. And then come back to me and talk about reluctance. Steal from a nun. Start a gang! Get thrown in jail for assaulting people who are way above your league. Or.. seduce and reduce to someone to tears who's way out of your league. Get in a car, drive west, play head-to-head chicken against a random innocent, because an angel told you he was the antichrist.
Le sigh.
Like I say, some seem to get this crap out of the way early.. I guess I'm one of them.
I can only think of two INFPs like this (and not to put myself too much in their company), and that is Arthur Rimbaud and Johnny Depp. Both quit the crazier behavior before they were their teens ended. And one kept on going, and that's Jim Morrison. "Wild child, full of grace, savior of the human race." Yeah, we all how that went.. Pete Doherty seems to be on the same road. My point though is that you should appreciate these INFPs who didn't any need of this. I wish I was one of them. I'm racked with guilt.