I am typically not very femme in appearance. It's more of a gender neutral look. Blouse and jeans sort of thing, mostly.
I've been in situations in which I did not realize I was actively "dating" someone. I usually reacted to the realization by never speaking to the interested party again. Or I slept with them and then never called. One or the other.
I've of course been asked if I was gay because of my lack of interest in dating (though that's not too far off as I have pretty much always been attracted to women as well as men...I identify as bisexual these days.) I just don't understand why it's so imperative that I be in a relationship all of the time. It seems like an extraneous activity that, if it happens, it's cool, but if not, why the hell should I care? The fervor with which many people seek relationships for the sake of relationships is absolutely absurd to me.
As far as my demeanor as an INTP woman, I probably come across as aloof and bitchy. I like to criticize everything, I am known for being blunt, and I am (probably most of all) detached and "don't give a shit about anything." I've never met another INTP female, but I imagine that they'd share similar traits.
Also, like Tallulah mentioned earlier in the thread, I do have this weird urge to perform. I wouldn't actually do anything performative in real life (unless I was severely drunk, high, or otherwise out of my ordinary mind), but I do fantasize about that sort of thing a lot. I like positive attention when I do actually get it, but I never actively go out of my way to garner that kind of thing. Probably has something to do with inferior Fe.