Into It
New member
- Joined
- Aug 30, 2008
- Messages
- 664
- MBTI Type
- ENFP
This should interest some of you.
I recently quit smoking. Last night, I was having terrible cravings, and rather than going to the store to get cigarettes, which I do not want to do, I took an antipsychotic I recently stopped taking, along with an anticonvulsant that I take sometimes- I know the two of these drugs together are relaxing somewhat and put me in a relatively good mood. I am also aware of contraindications of these drugs, and am fully aware of the risks, (not really any) of adding those drugs onto my current regimen. I calmed down a bit, and passed the time for the next two hours or so before I went to sleep.
This morning, I woke up and felt, in a way, psychotic. It was simply as if I was incepting the world in a way that is 'not real.' My dog greeted me in the morning and she was strangely devoid of any of the emotional contact she usually provides. Her movements were cold and mechanical. I turned on the television and put on an episode of House that was Tivo'd and that I had seen before. This time around, the actors were stale- none were worth mentioning except for Hugh Laurie, who was forgivable, but far from believable. I had always thought the acting on that show was fine, but is it possible that I had imaginatively glossed it over? My only concept of what is real is what I have known, so it is just as likely that what I am experiencing now is real and all that I have experienced in the past was not. I know that this is not much information, but I've only been awake for two hours. My outlook is very, very different, I am not happy, I am not sad. I'm just dealing with a bit of a paradigm shift. Believe that I have many first hand accounts of altered states to reference, but I do not feel high or altered in any way that could be considered detrimental. Everything's just...very different. I guess what is real is in the eye of the beholder, so am I supposed to just choose which reality I prefer and stick with it?
If what is is real and what was was not, then my imagination must have filled in many gaps. This wouldn't surprise me, because I'm about as imaginative as anyone I've ever met (INFJ's give me a run for my money).
If you have any recommendations about anything I could try to compare to how it normally is that may give me a good idea of what I'm dealing with here (I'm not asking for a doctor, but I like experiments as much as the next guy), that would be appreciated as well as any other comments.
I am going to work fairly soon. I will keep close tabs on how I am interacting with others, and how they respond to me. I am very intuitive about people that I meet, so this will be a telling trial. It's difficult for me to tell how you will respond to this message, which is not normal for me. It is hard to tell if it is because this is a very unusual post for me to make, or because my intuition is a bit stunted.
I'm also going to explain a dream in a little while. It was an interesting, philosophical dream I had last night that actually included one of the forum members (who most of you know).
I recently quit smoking. Last night, I was having terrible cravings, and rather than going to the store to get cigarettes, which I do not want to do, I took an antipsychotic I recently stopped taking, along with an anticonvulsant that I take sometimes- I know the two of these drugs together are relaxing somewhat and put me in a relatively good mood. I am also aware of contraindications of these drugs, and am fully aware of the risks, (not really any) of adding those drugs onto my current regimen. I calmed down a bit, and passed the time for the next two hours or so before I went to sleep.
This morning, I woke up and felt, in a way, psychotic. It was simply as if I was incepting the world in a way that is 'not real.' My dog greeted me in the morning and she was strangely devoid of any of the emotional contact she usually provides. Her movements were cold and mechanical. I turned on the television and put on an episode of House that was Tivo'd and that I had seen before. This time around, the actors were stale- none were worth mentioning except for Hugh Laurie, who was forgivable, but far from believable. I had always thought the acting on that show was fine, but is it possible that I had imaginatively glossed it over? My only concept of what is real is what I have known, so it is just as likely that what I am experiencing now is real and all that I have experienced in the past was not. I know that this is not much information, but I've only been awake for two hours. My outlook is very, very different, I am not happy, I am not sad. I'm just dealing with a bit of a paradigm shift. Believe that I have many first hand accounts of altered states to reference, but I do not feel high or altered in any way that could be considered detrimental. Everything's just...very different. I guess what is real is in the eye of the beholder, so am I supposed to just choose which reality I prefer and stick with it?
If what is is real and what was was not, then my imagination must have filled in many gaps. This wouldn't surprise me, because I'm about as imaginative as anyone I've ever met (INFJ's give me a run for my money).
If you have any recommendations about anything I could try to compare to how it normally is that may give me a good idea of what I'm dealing with here (I'm not asking for a doctor, but I like experiments as much as the next guy), that would be appreciated as well as any other comments.
I am going to work fairly soon. I will keep close tabs on how I am interacting with others, and how they respond to me. I am very intuitive about people that I meet, so this will be a telling trial. It's difficult for me to tell how you will respond to this message, which is not normal for me. It is hard to tell if it is because this is a very unusual post for me to make, or because my intuition is a bit stunted.
I'm also going to explain a dream in a little while. It was an interesting, philosophical dream I had last night that actually included one of the forum members (who most of you know).