Psychological dealbreakers
- Women who try to boss me around
- Women who don't read (the right books) or watch interesting documentaries. Nothing worse than a girlfriend whose favorite shows are Desperate Housewives, Sex & The City and Ugly Betty. If they only watch crap like that and read shitty pink biographies, I will soon have an urge to flip the switch on the relationship. They don't bring anything cool to the table, only lots of airhead talk about really uninteresting things that will have me thinking about suicide (or possibly murder) before an hour has passed.
- Drama queens who don't get their shit straight when I don't need their crap, or in situations where their crap isn't practical or necessary.
- Fi-less women who don't feel things with their entire being. I basically want an ENFP/INFP type 4.
- Women who freak out in crisis situations. I want someone who goes cold and controlled under extreme pressure.
If she's an NFP loony tune the rest of the time, it's all good
- Someone wallowing in self-pity too much. Meet the world, win it over. You know you can with a smile and a personality like that.
- Someone who cares more about animals than me. Kids always come first, but I expect to be second to that.
- Someone who owns pets. They're a peculiar breed...
- OCD behavior makes drop you like you're scalding hot. Don't have OCD.
- Constantly hyperactive people makes me want to shoot at live targets.
- Women who are just dull. I need that glimmer in the eye and a powerful personality.
- Women who are never serious and think that serious stuff is boring. Serious stuff is the most fun stuff. Joking around about superficial things never makes me loose track of time.
Talking to you about the philosophical/imaginative aspects of astrophysics/space travel/time travel etc damn well makes me do just that.
- Women who can't express themselves extremely well in text and speech.
I do not read minds, even if my gut feeling is very good.
- Women with commitment issues.
- Pathological liars.
- Drug/alcohol abuse.
- Excessive partying without me there makes me a bit on edge. Whatever you say about you liking to dance, I know that there is something that bugs you with the relationship. This hasn't happened to me personally, but I have seen it a hundred times in other peoples' relationships.
- Girls that seek a jealous reaction. I don't get it easily, but i'll get it if you try hard enough. Then if it continues, i'll eventually dump you.
I really hate it when people are not treating the heart they're holding in their hand with respect.
I've mostly seen it with others, but I have also experienced this. Nothing makes me more pissed off.
- Someone who would be a crappy and uncaring mother.
- Someone who doesn't get jealous. It's just a sign that they care, and I think it's a bit cute once every month or so. Nothing excessive.
Physical dealbreakers
- Obese. I hate it when people don't care about their appearance. Looking great is something you do for your partner. At least work on it. Not because your partner wouldn't love you when you look like shit, but because you're much easier to love if you're hot. I expect no more or any less than I do myself.
- Too tall.
- Completely flat-chested with too wide hips. Seriously, that is hideous. You should really think about getting implants. This is not politically correct to say, but seriously, go see a doctor about it.
- Women who can't/haven't learned how to orgasm from vaginal intercourse.
I love sticking my tongue down there for you, because I love giving you pleasure, but ordinary sex is sort of pointless if you're, in a way, impotent. I want strong physical response. Even if I can make you come with clitoral stimulation, not performing well in the main course sort of makes it all suck. This combined with the next point happened to me with a short-time girlfriend a while back.
- Women who are silent in bed. I have had this happen once, and it was really creepy to have sex with someone who didn't respond to you with sound or movement. Suffice to say, I quit and asked what was wrong. Turns out that was just the way she was. I dumped her after a few weeks. She was pretty nice and all otherwise, but that was something I couldn't live with. I want loud and lively response. Unless we're in some place where we need to be silent. But pillows are good for muffling all sorts of sounds
- Sexually orthodox women turn me the hell off. It's nice to explore stuff, learn and do really perverted stuff together sometimes. Not all the time, perhaps. Should be up for anything, almost. Nothing involving feces, animals or stuff like that, but anything within the "normal" perverted spectrum.
- Deathly cold hands at all times. *Not* nice sometimes. Seriously. This one girl I know was like an ice cube. If I wanted that particular cold, i'd have sex with corpses, honestly.
- Women who shave down there and then forget to do so for a week or so. Seriously, that crap can give me rashes. If I shave stuff and face before sex,
so should you. Well, hopefully without need to shave the face...
- Women who forgot about the existence of razors and waxing, or never learned. Seriously, your lady parts should not make me hum "Run through the jungle" by CCR.
Less Vietnam, more fresh.
- Women who smell like rancid onions or burning rubber tires when they sweat, or generally bad-smelling women in general.
Sweat is nice, as long as the sweat is nice. Sex is a good form of workout, but not if it smells like someone started burning a trash heap at the foot of the bed.
- Someone who can't give me a good massage because of "weak hands". If I have been massaging you for the last two hours, I will naturally be pissed off if you give me a Big Failure two minute sad excuse of a neck rub.
If you're that weak, i'm amazed as to how the hell you survive at all. Suspicion: lazy fucker who doesn't see the point of pleasing me as long as i'm pleasing her.
Well, even if it's because of an injury, I can't live with that unless it happens after several years of an awesome relationship, probably marriage and children.
- Someone who can't have children. I do want that some day.