SilkRoad
Lay the coin on my tongue
- Joined
- May 26, 2009
- Messages
- 3,932
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 6w5
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
ETJs are typically 8s or 3s, so there's usually a desire to integrate to 2 or it's a wing. You'll see the desire to help manifest rather materially though; they'll help through either actionable plans that solve your problem or they'll attempt to remove material constraints that are troubling you. Think Nucky Thompson in Boardwalk Empire.
The obliviousness to the feelings is part of the type. They won't immediately think the solution to your problem can be resolved through simply listening or by being sympathetic, so that's not what they think to supply.
Yeah, I have definitely noticed that while the willingness to help is great, they would often jump too quickly to offer a solution. I think things are likely to work best if a type like INFJ explains to a type like ExTJ that they may actually be looking more to vent than to immediately find a solution (or maybe the INFJ should just vent to someone else first!!), or ask the ExTJ to wait and hear the whole story before jumping to offer a solution.
I do really like people who want to help, though! It can excuse a bit of obliviousness to feelings.