Lots of interesting points, *long post warning*:
Re: Thinking women = "cold, unfeminine bitches" and F men = "crybabies/emotionally needy"
Convenient stereotypes we use to "classify" people. They negate the fact that thought and feeling cannot be divorced from each other that simply IRL.
I doubt many of us make decisions based on pure thought or pure feeling alone - a
balanced decision (vs a snap judgement) requires hard and soft considerations? And the stereotypes are merely that, snap judgements.
Re: cold bitchiness of T persons
I'd rather look to the motives and attitudes of each individual before calling a person bitchy? As whatever says, it is likely an F person could be bitchier than a T person (
whether male or female, I argue that some males are bitchier than females
) - bitchiness is hitting a person where it hurts; and a Feeler is better able to intuite that.
I'd say they
get away with it better than Thinkers because they'd hide it behind a veil of smiles and touches, while a Thinker is likely to just come out and say something cutting, out of honesty vs intent to hurt another. The T way is mistaken for bitchiness, but the F way is usually accepted as "oh, it is for your own good, I care about you, that's why I say it! *smile smile hug hug*".
Am not certain Thinking women are colder - I'd say they care as deeply, but perhaps may not express it as physically and as immediately as an F female?
But if we're not loved in the ways we desire, we do not regard that as love, do we.
The same way an F guy is frequently highly thoughtful and logical, but it isn't expressed in the normal way we're used to, so we pick on the differences and label them.
INFJ-ENTP
I'd have to dig up an INFJ male from somewhere to try that one. I know they're supposed to be the best pairing for the ENTP. But from the comments here, INFJs sound kind of like some kind of dark, wounded,
bushbaby, and as rare as a white truffle to boot. Am not certain a loopy ENTP wouldn't wound them more and drive them nuts trying to close the myriad tangents actually, thereby reducing their endangered population even further.
Re: ENTP females having it easier:
Is it because a strong Ne intuition gives an understanding that resembles feeling? Also, Fe is tertiary, so a more mature "switched on" ENTP could be "warmer" hence more acceptable?
Having said that, I've been at the receiving end of a lot of comments through the years, about being "too intelligent, too successful, too driven"; "cannot measure up to your standards" - makes me feel that I've to apologize for being successful / intelligent / popular, when it took a lot of hard work to build up my life to the way it is now.
What I took from all of it, was to be less upfront with my thoughts, to listen more, speak less. Slow down. And to pick my battles more wisely - I'm not aggressive by nature, so it tires me to compete in any sense of the word. To only demonstrate intelligence to whom it matters to. And to show that I care more. I'd be a nervous wreck if I'd heeded all of these feedback. As is, the adaptation to be more digestible takes a lot out of me everyday.
Re: image thing Sub was alluding to:
My trouble here is more the opposite of whatever - I'm utterly useless with directions, any kind of sports that requires hitting/kicking/throwing any object etc. I'm usually in dresses and heels, into dance, conversations, books and travelling. Glide through most social situations like a soap bubble on soda pop?
So I get ego-laden freaks who want a target dolly to prance around with, while the good, normal guys are thinking "she is with all those guys, has so many people around, she won't look at me", when I'm in reality emitting distress signals.
Re confidence:
somehow guys put the pressure on themselves to be "better" than the girl they date, and they seem to have a habit of measuring their "worth" by what they can give to the girl. Ergo if the girl is more successful than them, they do feel a little threatened in some ways, because they view themselves as not being able to take care of them? At least, where I come from, that is the case.
I found age here does matter. I've dated guys 8 years younger, up to 13 years older than me. The dynamics work best when it is a guy at least 3 years older, or about 5 years younger. The former is usually more self-assured, has came to terms with his part in life mainly. Hence is more relaxed, worldly, and looking for a breath of fresh air and different ways of viewing things, without seeing it as a challenge to his masculinity. The latter is looking for someone who can open a different world to them out of the schoolroom.
I think very few guys are truly comfortable with an equal in a partner, simply. It makes them feel that they are not needed.
So these are the chief issues as a T female I've had to deal with - that while I can take care of myself*, I do want you. And while I may not be physically demonstrative and emotional, it does not mean I do not care. These are not easy to express.
* Edit: As long as this doesn't include having to read a map, drive, and play any kind of game involving balls and bats.
Edit 2: The last sounds wrong but I'm not able to phrase it better.