Fluffywolf
Nips away your dignity
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2009
- Messages
- 9,581
- MBTI Type
- INTP
- Enneagram
- 9
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
When there is someone you care about, that has a problem that seems significant to that person. But the problem wouldn't be a problem for you. It's not in issue at all in your mind.
But you really want to comfort the person, tell them things will be ok. Show them empathy. In fact, when you're confronted with the situation, you visualise yourself doing so. But your real self just stops. Unable to move into that direction. Like an invisible wall preventing you from going there.
Last time someone fairly close to me had an emotional fit, clearly looking for companionship and someone to lean on. I told the person "You know, I wish I could comfort you, make you feel better and tell you everything is going to be ok. But I'm not going too...", and after saying that, I barely got the words "Trust me, you'll be fine." over my lips. And that was that.
What's up with that. I didn't really have much of a reason not to comfort the person. It wasn't a big issue. It wasn't an important issue. It didn't really clash with my principles. But it just didn't feel right. Couldn't do it, despite feeling empathy.
All just because I didn't relate to the problem of the person.
I think this is common amongst INTP's, that emotion. So I wondered, how do you deal with comforting people, about things you don't feel comfort is needed or justified to yourself?
For the record. I've no problem comforting people for things that would also hurt me.
But you really want to comfort the person, tell them things will be ok. Show them empathy. In fact, when you're confronted with the situation, you visualise yourself doing so. But your real self just stops. Unable to move into that direction. Like an invisible wall preventing you from going there.
Last time someone fairly close to me had an emotional fit, clearly looking for companionship and someone to lean on. I told the person "You know, I wish I could comfort you, make you feel better and tell you everything is going to be ok. But I'm not going too...", and after saying that, I barely got the words "Trust me, you'll be fine." over my lips. And that was that.
What's up with that. I didn't really have much of a reason not to comfort the person. It wasn't a big issue. It wasn't an important issue. It didn't really clash with my principles. But it just didn't feel right. Couldn't do it, despite feeling empathy.
All just because I didn't relate to the problem of the person.
I think this is common amongst INTP's, that emotion. So I wondered, how do you deal with comforting people, about things you don't feel comfort is needed or justified to yourself?
For the record. I've no problem comforting people for things that would also hurt me.