onemoretime
Dreaming the life
- Joined
- Jun 29, 2009
- Messages
- 4,455
- MBTI Type
- 3h50
I'm not afraid of failure in and of itself, I'm afraid of not being given another chance after failing. Will I?
Of course you will. Why wouldn't you? The only time you can't try again is when you're dead, or when you quit.
If I CAN fail multiple times before I succeed, that's fine. I do great when I can practice with something I'm allowed to fail at multiple times before succeeding. If I'm expected to get it right the first time or never make it, then I can't do that. It's just that I'm often given the impression by the way many things are written that there's no room for error, and I won't get another chance if I fail once.
Not true. You think you're the only one who works that way? It takes 10,000 hours of practice to master any skill. Other people know this, and will usually give you leeway.
I don't want to deal with the expenses of having a car. I'd need a job that much better just to pay for a car and and insurance. The costs are unreasonable given the kind of job and pay levels I'm qualified for. The need to pay for a car will keep me dependent and further away from my goals for that much longer.
Like I said - life is tough sometimes. Do you know what is keeping you dependent right now? Not having a car. You can find cheap insurance down there fairly easily. Besides, at the right job, entry-level income is a lot better than you may think - $10/hr isn't bad if you maintain housing and food expenses at a reasonable level. You can find a decent car for $4000, which you can negotiate with the bank for a decent rate, and insurance isn't all that bad.
Just try and see if you can make it work rather than convince yourself that it can't.
Sometimes, we have to trade one set of crappy restraints for a whole other set.
Besides, we do have public transportation in Dallas. It's just that I won't have it if I try to take a job that's outside their service area, which pretty much covers the whole city and some of the nearby ones. Not only that, even if I learned, I wouldn't have anyone to pay for the car, gas, and insurance until I got a job anyway. So I even if I had a driver's license, I wouldn't be able to use the car in my job hunt. Which is, honestly, when it would be the most useful.
Times like these are when it's prudent to take a small loan to cover these costs. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Hey, it's not their opinion I'm afraid of. It's the fact that I'm depending on them to survive right now that I'm afraid of. If I were financially independent, I'd tell them off and never deal with them again.
So, why let them have that power? They're using your fear of abandonment as leverage over you - take that power away from them. You must have friends who are aware of the situation. You're old enough now where at least one of them would be fully willing to help you break free.
People want you to be happy, and will help you get there if you let them.
Umm... don't know what you're talking about there.
Rather than rip the bandage off and deal with a short period of sharp pain, you dealt with a slow burn for 3-4 years longer than you had to. You see why this is unhealthy?
Right. I just hope others don't think the way my parents do...
The onus is on one person - you. You know you're not crazy, just get to work convincing others that they've got no reason to think otherwise.
Yeah, probably... it's not like I've actually gone up to people and tried to talk to them.
The only way you're going to get good at it is to keep trying. They're the key to what you want. Never doubt that there are always options out there - it's up to you to find them.
There isn't a part of me that just "does," or if there is it doesn't listen to what I want. That's the problem.
No, you've just convinced yourself that this is the case. Look - I'm about the laziest person on the planet when it comes to things I don't personally want to do. However, if I don't do those things, I starve. So I get over that pretty quickly, and start to change things in my favor. Otherwise, I am stuck in depression and the death of ennui. Let me tell you, that place sucks.
Of course there's a part of you that just "does". It's the part that has you talking on this message board right now. Figure out how to harness it for your benefit.