fignewton
New member
- Joined
- Jul 2, 2017
- Messages
- 1
- MBTI Type
- ENFJ
I start saying facts, like " I accept you more than I accept myself" and then I realized how terrible that sounds. The whole world is a beautiful mess full of accidents and individuality.
and I am like putty. I do not want to hurt anyone or anything. I am recently single, unemployed. I am trying to find happiness despite no signs of success. Success is all I judge myself by, and for awhile it was heterosexual long term relationships. Now I stand, pansexual of sorts and taking in the world. I have no wall to protect me from bad people, I assume the best in all.
I love myself, but all of this flexibility just makes me want to squish myself for anyone bolder. I accept you because you exist in this world and if you think it then it's significant. This martyrdom is beautifully painful and I'm at a crossroads. I am alone. I am varying degrees of lonely.
When an ENFJ rants is it just blah blah blah, these issues are anything but tangible? I have the hardest time asking for help.... I thought about suicide last weekend when I got called a faggot. What's the point if I have to fight way through this world? If I have to hurt people?
I found the ENFJ type and it helped me see why I'm like this, but it doesn't comfort. INTPs comfort me too much and I get like, obsessive. INFPs help but only superficially and then I get need more support in a couple of days which makes me feel like a burden.
So I need someone to reassure me that I'm okay... I need to protect myself from bad people even it's hard to turn them down... I need people.... but, in what order? Being alone is so painful, but if I look for people then people hurt me...
and I am like putty. I do not want to hurt anyone or anything. I am recently single, unemployed. I am trying to find happiness despite no signs of success. Success is all I judge myself by, and for awhile it was heterosexual long term relationships. Now I stand, pansexual of sorts and taking in the world. I have no wall to protect me from bad people, I assume the best in all.
I love myself, but all of this flexibility just makes me want to squish myself for anyone bolder. I accept you because you exist in this world and if you think it then it's significant. This martyrdom is beautifully painful and I'm at a crossroads. I am alone. I am varying degrees of lonely.
When an ENFJ rants is it just blah blah blah, these issues are anything but tangible? I have the hardest time asking for help.... I thought about suicide last weekend when I got called a faggot. What's the point if I have to fight way through this world? If I have to hurt people?
I found the ENFJ type and it helped me see why I'm like this, but it doesn't comfort. INTPs comfort me too much and I get like, obsessive. INFPs help but only superficially and then I get need more support in a couple of days which makes me feel like a burden.
So I need someone to reassure me that I'm okay... I need to protect myself from bad people even it's hard to turn them down... I need people.... but, in what order? Being alone is so painful, but if I look for people then people hurt me...