True...I'm tired of people confusing the two, myself.
Yes, I was just going to say that what cafe said was something much more reasonable, that I could happily live with. I'm quite free with admitting that I'm not always a
nice person - I know I can be difficult at times but then so can anyone else, that just means I'm human and imperfect, but I'm not in any kind of exclusive club there!! I know I can sometimes misjudge situations, but again - who doesn't? I don't see why someone having a personality flaw needs to so often be inflated and exaggerated into a general judgement about their human worth.
Eternue is right in saying there's a long back history with that particular situation - namely that those people have few other friends for a good reason, because they ARE maladjusted and obsessive and possessive and generally too demanding and clingy - I've known very feely types (including an INFJ I know) disassociate themselves from them for the exact same reasons I have, and it was only on the advice of loads of other people that I decided to do what I did anyway, after quietly putting up with the situation for a long time even though it was driving me potty, because I just didn't want to upset anyone.
In actual fact, since I started this thread last night, worried about people I care about believing what they were saying, little did I know that by this afternoon I'd have been phoned and texted by a load of people offering me support and condemning the way that couple behaved towards me both before and after the breakup. I've also been congratulated on finally screwing up the courage to break free of them. I didn't do any machinations or manipulations, I didn't defend myself to anyone, I just went out for a drive today on my own to get away from it all, and while I was out, I got all these phone calls on my cellphone. Ten minutes after I got back, three people called by to see if I was alright, and to express support for me and disgust at how I've been treated.
edit - and one just called now to apologise for laying into me about it yesterday without checking their facts! I quote: "I should've known it wasn't like they were saying, because you're one of the most long-suffering people I've known."
So in fact it appears that the moral of the story for me is more like "have more faith in your friends to spot a psycho when they see one and not fall for anything they're told about you", and "have more faith in your own hard work at doing good and being the best you can all the time, to speak for itself regardless of what anyone else tries to tell people". Oh, and also, "I've known a couple of really fucked up ExFJ's and have to remember they're not all like that".
But again, even if I were making the mistake of judging a type by the examples of it that I've known - I'm certainly not the only one around here who does that, and I think it's a very human and natural mistake to make, since all of us can only really speak from our own experiences.
But that's why I didn't want to discuss the issues of my personal relationships. I didn't "ask for pity" as wildcat absurdly proclaims, and if anyone can find anywhere a quotation of me that even suggests or hints that I have any problem dealing with my own kids, then I'll be damned!
I do find things rather confusing though, this weird world... I mean, in the one sense, so many people who observed my situation (and some who only knew about it in text format) were telling me for ages that I was tolerating too much and trying too hard to come onto their level and that I should be able to expect them to try to meet me half way rather than make me do all the accommodating. But then on the other hand, when I try to do exactly that, I'm told that I'm somehow defficient in some vital human quality, without which I can never hope to be judged as a good person!
And yeah, there is a lot of my feelings involved in my responses because basically I'm being kicked around 'til black and blue, now both in person and on the fucking internet by total strangers, when all I've done is, in my own dumbass way, tried to be good!
![Crying :cry: :cry:](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
(Ok,
now I'm asking for pity... lol well, not asking exactly, but hoping maybe!)