Esoteric Wench
Professional Trickster
- Joined
- Dec 20, 2009
- Messages
- 945
- MBTI Type
- ENFP
- Enneagram
- 7w8
This thread grew out of a post on Malkavia’s interesting “So this infamous ENFP 'Te Bitchslap'.....†thread. I thought it’d be fascinating to dedicate a sister thread to ENFPs sharing their Te Bitchslap stories.
ENFPs, let me suggest you organize your stories in this way:
Below is my original post on the other thread that explains what a Te Bitchslap is and elaborates on the above:
ENFPs, let me suggest you organize your stories in this way:
- What did the recipient of the Bitchslap do to deserve your ire?
- What were you feeling? Before? During? And, after?
- What was the social fallout? Did you consider it beforehand? Was it worth it anyway?
Below is my original post on the other thread that explains what a Te Bitchslap is and elaborates on the above:
The Te Bitchslap* is an example of and ENFP's Fi and Te working in concert:
Fi feels indignant about some perceived wrong +
Te decides to let the perpetrator of said perceived wrong know about it....
usually in excruciating detail and in a very logical manner.
= ENFP Te Bitchslap
#1 - When the Te Bitchslap is delivered, the other person's vulnerabilities / social niceties are not taken into consideration. (Letting social niceties take a back seat when a wrong is perceived is very, very Fi.) Marmie Dearest described this aspect of Fi very well in one of her posts:
It's just that Fi is much more concerned with their internal feeling of what is right and true, even if that means being disruptive. It's not like seeking disruption, but not minding if you cause it if it promotes what the Fi user sees as right or true. Authenticity is seen as paramount, even though Fi users may also like harmony. For Fe users it seems that harmony and connection are paramount, even though they may also like authenticity.
#2 - Te steps in. What is of utmost importance to Te (ENFP's tertiary function) is to communicate in a dispassionate manner how wrong the other person is. Another characteristic of the Te Bitchslap is that it tends to be very well-organized. For example, when I've given a Te Bitchslap in writing, I tend to bullet point and sequentially number it. This is very Te of me. Te likes to figure out how to get to from Point A to Point B in the most logical and concise manner possible. Or think of it like this: Te was made for PowerPoint presentations. Imagine having to deliver a critique of someone via a PowerPoint slide show.... Well you get the idea.
One More Thing:
A couple of ENFPs on this thread have mentioned they've never fully experienced delivering a Te Bitchslap. Perhaps this is true. I can only share my personal experience here: I was in my early 30s before I had enough confidence in myself and enough life experience to deliver the Te Bitchslap. The great thing about your 30s is you finally know who you are and what you want. You don't take so much crap from people. And, you're not so afraid to speak your mind. Voila, I was finally able to tap into my Te Bitch-slapping skills.
One More One More Thing:
I don't think the Te Bitchslap is necessarily a bad thing. It's more a question of using it responsibly or irresponsibly. It's been my experience that when I've really let go on someone with the Te Bitchslap, they royally deserved it. I think the trick is considering what the social fallout/damage to the other person is going to be just before you deliver the slap. Sometimes the fallout is not worth it. But sometimes it is. <Insert coyly evil grin here.>
*I think Orobas (on this very forum) came up with the "Te Bitchslap" term. I think it's a great name for this phenomenon. (Please correct me if I'm wrong here.) But in lieu of a correction, let me say thanks to Orobas for this term.