What the other ENFP user (sorry forgot name) said was perfect. Meaning, I agree 100%.
As for this post and your next one, it appears to me that "your" ENFP does not think you are co-workers, but rather believes he is supervising you, teaching you, in some way. Have you considered that possibility? ENFPs see potential in everyone and like to encourage them. Sometimes it can be seen as an (excessive) critique, when in fact it was meant to be a motivation tool. Have you considered that the ENFP might be offended or confounded by the fact that you consider your relationship an equal relationship, while he possibly sees you as someone to tutor and guide? From what you wrote, it could be that he respects you and thinks highly of you, and want's you to be better than him.
While this is possible, I despite the possibility.
he's convinced that he has a method that I should follow, but his 'method' is just his personality or a 'style'. A company's METHODOLOGY is a different thing. I'm an NT, you need to show me a process backed by documents if possible. I'll disregard pretty much everything else as 'opinions' and 'impressions'.
He also doesn't give me data in a 'normal way'.
He'll call me and talk to me for 1h and then expect me to remember everything he told me (when 90% of it was irrelevant to me). (giving tasks could be tone in 10 minutes tops - it's rare for a call to be less than 20 minutes, often 1 hour). Task giving is split between multiple emails, forwarding of client emails without any comment or clear title, 1 line back and forth emails etc. I don't want to spend my days answering to emails. I don't get paid for that, it doesn't help me do my job. I don't want to it. I told him, he doesn't seem to accept that a task should be set in the following way:
- email with clear title (or on task management platform)
- first line should start with something clearly indicating that this is a JOB TO BE DONE with some kind of deadline etc.
- simple description of the tasks
Such an email can be written in about 1 to 5 mins. It takes less time than the back and forth overall.
By the time the call is done I have no desire what so ever to work.
He'll state things that sound like options and then tell me 3 weeks later he was expecting an answer to it/the work to be done. And I'm like 'wtf' That happens ALOT.
He'll ask me to inform clients even if i don't have information (i don't do that, I'm not a sales guy. I don't bullshit people - If I don't have info I'll just say so and give the info when I have it)
He has changing expectations of me - he'll say he's handling the client, or that designer. Then send me emails expecting immediate answer concerning something HE TOLD ME he was taking care of. This is extremely confusing to me.
He'll keep asking me to do things which are in no way my job/competency. While I'm open to learning I don't want to spend days doing things I'm bad at and then be late on my other projects. (then get no end of crap about it/ and hour long conversations that don't solve anything and make me want to kill)
He doesn't really offer any support. He will spend 1hour 'mentoring me' or something (utterly pointless to me) when all i need are lists of available freelancers, documentation from previous jobs (so I can see AT A GLANCE how he wants things done) and CLEARLY delimited responsibilities. (where It's clear I'm doing someone a favor if I do something else, not that somehow it becomes my responsibility at random intervals)
If it's 'his client' he expects to retain FULL CONTROL of the mission, doesn't actually offer support, when he does he makes it sound like it's some kind of GREAT service he's offering and a waste of his time. YET he also wants me to be fully independent on that mission. (then will ask for things to be done his way at random intervals). This is SELF CONTRADICTORY. I can't work that way. It's confusing.
Secondly, usually the problem I have with ENTPs is that they despise Fi and always end up making fun of my Fi, or questioning and testing it, etc. Have you wondered how you make him feel, maybe you dont make him feel respected and appreciated? Maybe the way you express your ideas is too dry/rough/sardonic and the ENFP takes it personally!? Like user above said, we ENFPs see things as relative and especially from the point of view of personal experience. So maybe if your way of communicating is "this is the way it's done" it will be a little grating for the ENFP, who'd rsther hear something like "in my opinion/i think/in my experience it will work if we do it this way".
ENTPs don't despise Fi, we don't usually really 'despise' anything. We just find Fi to be highly biased. My relationship with enfps is a hit and miss one. Either they think I'm the antichrist for hurting their feelings (ie: not considering their opinions as fact) or we go along splendidly
The 'clash' between entps and enfps is usally, in my opinion, simply that enfps are emotionally invested in their views. ENTPs rarely are. Mix that in with an entp's tendency to play devil's advocate. and voila, hurt feelings.
So if I had more care for F I could have used terms like 'subjective' instead of biased or say 'attacking their views' instead of 'hurting their feelings'. But I don't see that as helping in any way in the accuracy of my statement. So. yeah. I see how that can create animosity. (i just don't act on it)
This shows in my interactions with this specific enfps for example.
a) I'm very good at spotting bullshit, and let's face it ENFPs do bullshit quite a bit (ie: convincing people/having them to like them). So I see quite a bit of the 'discussions' to be useless. (ie: you can't convince me of something that doesn't make sense to me, If i 'agree' it's so you'll stop talking at me - won't change my opinion)
I miigght be taking this one out of my rear end but I think I've read a study (well a cross of two studies) that would indicate entp males could be the best / one of the best types at spotting bs.
So in effect, what happens is that i'll end up sighing and puffing which will be seen as a 'personal attack' or that ' i don't care' when the only thing i don't care about is that specific conversation (which I see as pointless because to me it seems like 90% is wasted)
I had an ENFP boss a while back. I would always just, ask what she wanted when she called, because I knew she called about work and talking about how I'm feeling or the weather was utterly pointless - and that she wasn't calling because she cared how I felt, but rather because she wanted her latest idea made into something that can actually make money/is presentable to clients.
b) He CANNOT be convinced of an argument via sheer data so at this point I kind of stopped wasting my energy doing that.
Lastly, it can also be that this has nothing to do with typology and "your" ENFP is actually un unhealthy individual who doesnt like to work and is a bad colleague. It's quite tricky to analyse the full situation and give suggestions based on this very limited way of communication that is a web forum....
No I don't think he has any 'issues' appart from stress.
He's a smart guy. We're of 'equal smartness'.
He is more experienced in his field than I am that is true. But I just don't feel that giving longue speeches helps in any way. To the contrary he expects me to solve all his problems, everything he doesn't want to do. So, to be AT LEAST as competent as him.
All while still 'having things done his way' (his way not being strictly defined).
One thing I can't quite let go off (I guess it's the 8 wing : P) is when he told me that a payment that was due me for work done month previously was a 'loan' because he hadn't been paid by the client yet (he actually had, the check was in the mail but he went on a 1 month vacation). He was 6 months late on this mission - I saved it and insured that he got paid. He then sort of transfered all the responsibility for everythijng that happened in the mission on me. (ie: yeah the client is going to be difficult when you've ignored him for 6 months after he's paid you a 15,000 usd DOWNPAYMENT).
So I worked about 100+ extra hours on the project to calm them down - only to hear how 'he wouldn't have put as many hours' as if I was incompetent. Despite him ASKING ME to do that EXTRA WORK after my job was technically done.
He also had the balls to blame me again and again for the project being delivered 5 days late. Let me explain: he had decided to take over the project again mid-project only to ignore the developer and not touch the project for 3 weeks. The developer was then unavailable and I had to cajol him into finishing the project on nights and evenings while he was working on something else. - I think only having 5 days of delays in these conditions is pretty damn good. it was also a VERY challenging project (not enough budget to do a full system, had to adapt one of the most messed up backend/cms system I've seen in my life and modernize it to plug it into the new site).
He chose the developer on that mission: the guy was a prick who charges you to fix his own bugs. Then complained about it to me as if it was my decision.
I then had to hear him tell me again and again how i 'didn't help him' on that project and he wasn't going to get much profit on it. Overall I got paid about as much as a supermarket casheer per hour on this project, which i see as me doing him a favor. he sees it the other way around. I see that as highly disrespectful/insulting.