Well-said. If he made such a deep impact on me, he's never NOT a part of me. My IsTP was the first guy I truly *loved*. Our reflection of each other was frightening. He treated me like a woman, not a scared angry little girl. He was a drug addict, so we know where this ended. But I still think about him frequently and hope he's well and happy. I'm the same way about my ENTP ex. I think about him all the time. He was like the ISTP in the sense that I, the island fortress, could easily imagine being with him forever, and I wasn't afraid of it. I was afraid of how easy it was, but not of him.
I want to say though that if I'm with YOU, I'm with you, not these other people, no matter how much they meant to me. I'm here with you where we're at, and am not wishing for what I had. The trouble with me is that I have yet to meet anyone that I wanted to be with like I did with those two guys, so I'm still sort of floating in isolation.
When you finally feel inherently and naturally understood, it ruins everything else until it occurs again...
Wow. Very well-said. Fully agree.