Oh yeah, some more - We are fairly independent, but because relationships make up a very important part of our world, we need more reassurance than you likely do. If left with no information but you seem distant, we tend to assume something is very wrong and often that we have something to do with it. We will keep hovering and asking questions until you give us enough information to work with. Mostly at that point, T types feel stifled and annoyed by the hovering and give less information. They also believe that once they've expressed how they feel about someone, the person can assume they still feel the same way until otherwise notified. A little bit of verbalizing what's going on, or mentioning when you'll be "back", or a hint as to what is preoccupying you, will give you a lot more room to move.
When an INFJ distances themselves, it is usually because something is wrong. However, T types tend to assume they just need some space and will be back. This is generally felt as rejection or lack of care/interest in many cases. Although INFJs need some alone time, it is pretty clear when it is just recharging time or when it is that something is wrong, if the person thinks to look. A quick check is usually all that is needed to verify. If the INFJ says they are okay but doesn't meet your eye or seem convincing, ask more questions. They'll talk if they believe you really want to know what's wrong.
Time spent alone together is highly valued and says to the INFJ that you are as invested in the relationship as they are.
INFJs don't really like emotional surprises. This is part of what makes them overaccommodate others (to the point of being a pain at times). They know how much something is likely to bother them and what their reaction will be, whereas they are not as sure about other people's potential feelings/reactions unless they know them really well. The only problem is that they may continue adjusting more than their fair share. They'll talk themselves out of feeling resentful if it gets very one sided, because it's usually only a bunch of little things all put together. However, if that goes unnoticed and the person pushes their luck with another little thing soon after, they may unload on them because they are reminded of all of those other little annoyances that have gone unrecognized and they feel taken for granted.
The emotional surprises thing also governs why INFJs need more reassurance than T types that things are fine. If there is something on the horizon, the INFJ doesn't want to be blindsided and feel embarrassed or hurt in front of the other person without deciding what to do first.
INFJs are extremely careful about other people's reactions to them as well, which sometimes to T types can look like being wishy washy or too dependent for approval. It really doesn't come from not having a strong sense of who we are and what matters. It's just that most things we talk about, do, and the people we interact with are expressions of who we are. Therefore, judgement of that done injudiciously feels very rejecting and likely cuts off any further transparency. However, this is also a problem since many INFJs really want to be understood and known inside out by those they are close to. Therefore, it creates a kind of falseness in interactions, or else a very big gulf between the people, which the INFJ really dislikes.
Regarding the delayed processing - For example, I may talk myself out of feeling badly about something you said one day. There are many different angles I can view every situation from, and I'm fairly good at standing in other people's shoes. However, in my next interaction with you, I may confirm that you unknowingly said something that could have been hurtful, or you may continue scraping away at something that is still a little raw. I may react slightly so that you are aware you are treading on thin ice, but not say it directly. Rather than calling you on it right away (even though I'm feeling both annoyed and hurt by then), I'll mull it over some more because perhaps I just have missed taking something into account, or I'm tired or stressed and I really don't want to overreact. If however, the next time we are together, you still don't get the hint, I may become more emotional than I'd like to be in front of you. I end up embarrassed, you feel like a heel although puzzled because it seems like such a little thing (not realizing it's actually a pile of little things). Ironically, in my attempt to keep from losing credibility with you by overreacting, I save things up until they blow when I least expect it and I'll end up apologizing. If you're wise, you'll take the initiative then to talk things over. Otherwise, we still don't really have things cleared up and I get even more resentful as time goes on about continuously apologizing AND being misunderstood when it is not me that's doing whatever it is.
On the other hand, the same can also happen for good things. It's kind of like when you gain or lose weight - your choices don't show up immediately, but each small choice does contribute to an end result. Does that make sense?
Re: Verbal and non-verbal affection - We like both verbal and written appreciation. Written is nice because you can re-read it. I don't know about other INFJs regarding physical affection. I am pretty comfortable with it (as long as I like you) and am quite affectionate, although unlikely to initiate (I hate imposing in most regards, and so will wait till I'm very sure any kind of contact, whether physical or verbal is wanted. The only exception is when I'm worried about the state of our relationship. Then I will initiate whatever kinds of contact has been in our relationship to gather further information and gauge whether it's me or something else that's causing a problem. When the T type disengages verbally and physically, I'll assume that I'm the problem, which may not be the case. I do that because that's how I'd show I'm upset with someone.).