Totenkindly
@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2007
- Messages
- 50,389
- MBTI Type
- BELF
- Enneagram
- 594
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/sp
Glossed over this at first, but it is just like a fiend of mine, who I've sometimes mentioned as an ISTJ with a very messy house.
A real "fiend" huh?
This type is likely a pure "Melancholy Compulsive"
http://www.pastoral-counseling-cent...Inclusion/melancholy-compulsive-inclusion.htm
http://www.pastoral-counseling-cent...-of-Control/melancholy-compulsive-control.htm
http://www.pastoral-counseling-cent...Affection/melancholy-compulsive-affection.htm
who had a bad childhood, and rebelled against everything. They compulsively reject people in both dimensions of temperament (expressive and responsive), and feel very intruded upon by others, such as family members growing up. So they completely retreat into themselves even more than the temperament would naturally lead them, and the messiness is likely a revolt of their independence from feeling so intruded upon by others.
Not sure. I mean, I definitely do agree that she would class as a melancholy type from the humors-based personality theories; but I still feel like her practical Te skill suck really bad and they shouldn't, because she's very smart in tangible ways (and doesn't have a lot of appreciate for abstracted theory/philsophy, she sees it as a waste). I don't think she likes how messy her house is (and her bedroom, you cannot even see the floor, and there's trash all around it). When you go to her mom's house, you won't see the trash, but you will definitely see clutter, just more neatly stacked. Too much stuff in too little space, and things unfinished.
With my alcoholic dad and non-T mom, we had the same issues growing up. Nothing ever was completed, and I never learned how to finish a task or saw the benefits of completing it. The house is really old and falling apart at this point. A great example of "never finishing anything" is when they tried to spackle the enclosed staircase. They stuck large globs of spackle on the walls, some globs with fingerprints still in them, then only partly sanded everything down, so that large globs still remained. Then they were forgotten, and stayed there for 15 years. Of course, my goofy mom tried to paint over the globs of spackle, rather than smoothing it it out first.
So that's the deal with the roomie. There are various projects in completion about the house, and she has aspirations... but it seems like she gets stuck and just quits. It's been quite a mindscrew for me because her TJ nature is very obvious, and I've never met a TJ with this degree of chaos before.
Ti tends to draw judgments about the nature of things, though, it's an introverted function; and what I see with her is her using her Te-style judgments to determine the nature of other people, and her judgments tend to be unwarranted, severe, and rather unfair. She'll take one fact or one thing that someone did, and then just immediately read it a certain way, usually in a way driven by her own emotional welfare, and to their detriment. So there's a lot of resentment and bitterness that has built up at times.
There definitely was a "repulson" thing going on. A few years back, she wore a party dress to the family Thanksgiving I attended with her, even though I had asked her what everyone else was wearing, she said "jeans and a sweater," and I told her dressing way out of the line was a bad idea and would irk/upset her family. But in our conversation she was clear that she basically had a chip on her shoulder and wanted to show everyone how good she was, and did it... and lo and behold, people were annoyed and it just bought her more criticism from the family. She only really has decent conversation with one sister, and the brother is distant, and the oldest sister (an ISFJ) and she do not get along at all.