Bamboo
New member
- Joined
- Jan 28, 2009
- Messages
- 2,689
- MBTI Type
- XXFP
Trick question: who is relaxed?
Hahaha wow this is hard.
Trick question: who is relaxed?
Just press the subtitles button on the remote control of life. It will translate all foreign languages into the one you understand best, and the translations will conveniently appear right above people's heads. You can even change the font size!
yeah, if you're into socionics, i guess it is.Body language, like tone of voice, is unconscious.
yeah, if you're into socionics, i guess it is.
And why not follow on and read someone's body language rather than relate to them as another person.
So if we focus on body language or tone of voice, we are unable to focus on what we are doing.
And we come across as awkward 'cause we are.
But it is far worse than mere awkwardness. Those who focus on body language, or tone of voice, or type, are trying to pull a cheap trick.
Body language, like tone of voice, is unconscious.
So body language and tone of voice happen while we are doing something else.
So if we focus on body language or tone of voice, we are unable to focus on what we are doing.
And we come across as awkward 'cause we are.
But it is far worse than mere awkwardness. Those who focus on body language, or tone of voice, or type, are trying to pull a cheap trick.
And rather than relating to the person, they are trying to manipulate them.
And that is how they come across - as awkward manipulators pulling a cheap trick.
manipulate, maysmipulate...its all about doing A to get to B, beyond that its merely semantics; when will feelers realize this simple fact? I can manipulate my body language, tone of voice and focus on what I am doing all at the same time. Rub my tummy while patting my head.
It is what it is.
And I think, Spamtar, the danger is not that you will fool us, but that you will fool yourself.
yes even Victor....
I think one of the things that is useful with body language is that it conveys the majority of what is being said, yet is the most open to being misconstrued or having multiple meanings. Therefore, words are needed to confirm what the intent of the message truly is. However, when words do not match up with body language, the words are the least convincing part of the message. This is why I believe body language matters.
Perhaps the most important reason for understanding it is so that you are sure that you are conveying the message you intend to convey. For example, PaperOceans may not be lying or looking to escape. However if she is chatting with you and says what a great time she's having, while avoiding eye contact and looking elsewhere frequently, you'll be left with the distinct feeling that she is indeed not having a great time, or at the very least that if something more interesting came along, she'd be out of there. That is unlikely what she intends for people to feel, but may be what they get out of the exchange.
The other valuable aspect of paying attention to body language is that it takes your attention off of you and puts it on the other person. This allows you to truly give and receive all of the information needed, as well as think about how to put the other person at ease, especially if you are able to notice their discomfort. You can share their joy if that is what they are feeling, or their sadness etc. When you don't notice those things, you miss a lot of what is happening around you.
Just a few more common ones: slumpy posture may indicate sadness or lack of confidence or weariness. An unblinking look with little facial expression may mean disagreement, or evaluating what is being said. A true smile reaches the eyes instead of just engaging the mouth. People who are lying usually maintain unbroken eye contact rather than shifty eye contact as is commonly thought because they want to see how their listener is reacting to the information. Direct face to face contact is usually more intimate, indicating either affection/interest (when accompanied by smiling, touching, looking into the eyes) or on the opposite end of the spectrum, hostility (usually accompanied by aggressive stance and staring). They say dilated pupils indicate romantic interest, but I hope that's not true because mine are naturally quite dilated even around people I don't like!
I don't agree with Victor that paying attention to body language is manipulative. It is taking in all of the relevent information to make an appropriate judgement call. Not doing so is like purposefully ignoring the part of the invitation where it says what type of attire is appropriate to wear, or not reading the fine print before signing a document. It doesn't make sense to avoid using all the information that is at our disposal to make an appropriate decision and a fair assessment. It is a large part of what tells us whether we can trust someone or not. Often if something seems a little "off" about someone, it has to do with irregular/inconsistent body language, or their body language disagreeing with their message.
I think one of the things that is useful with body language is that it conveys the majority of what is being said, yet is the most open to being misconstrued or having multiple meanings. Therefore, words are needed to confirm what the intent of the message truly is. However, when words do not match up with body language, the words are the least convincing part of the message. This is why I believe body language matters.
Perhaps the most important reason for understanding it is so that you are sure that you are conveying the message you intend to convey. For example, PaperOceans may not be lying or looking to escape. However if she is chatting with you and says what a great time she's having, while avoiding eye contact and looking elsewhere frequently, you'll be left with the distinct feeling that she is indeed not having a great time, or at the very least that if something more interesting came along, she'd be out of there. That is unlikely what she intends for people to feel, but may be what they get out of the exchange.
The other valuable aspect of paying attention to body language is that it takes your attention off of you and puts it on the other person. This allows you to truly give and receive all of the information needed, as well as think about how to put the other person at ease, especially if you are able to notice their discomfort. You can share their joy if that is what they are feeling, or their sadness etc. When you don't notice those things, you miss a lot of what is happening around you.
Just a few more common ones: slumpy posture may indicate sadness or lack of confidence or weariness. An unblinking look with little facial expression may mean disagreement, or evaluating what is being said. A true smile reaches the eyes instead of just engaging the mouth. People who are lying usually maintain unbroken eye contact rather than shifty eye contact as is commonly thought because they want to see how their listener is reacting to the information. Direct face to face contact is usually more intimate, indicating either affection/interest (when accompanied by smiling, touching, looking into the eyes) or on the opposite end of the spectrum, hostility (usually accompanied by aggressive stance and staring). They say dilated pupils indicate romantic interest, but I hope that's not true because mine are naturally quite dilated even around people I don't like!
I don't agree with Victor that paying attention to body language is manipulative. It is taking in all of the relevent information to make an appropriate judgement call. Not doing so is like purposefully ignoring the part of the invitation where it says what type of attire is appropriate to wear, or not reading the fine print before signing a document. It doesn't make sense to avoid using all the information that is at our disposal to make an appropriate decision and a fair assessment. It is a large part of what tells us whether we can trust someone or not. Often if something seems a little "off" about someone, it has to do with irregular/inconsistent body language, or their body language disagreeing with their message.