Shyner
New member
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2017
- Messages
- 47
I am just looking to work on self-improvement and I think knowing one's type accelerates growth. I've posted on other forums, but I didn't get a conclusive answer.
I am a 19 years old male living in America if that matters.
I am a writer, poet, philosopher, musician, rapper, and amateur filmmaker. I am a very artistic man who intends on breaking into the mainstream with all of my friends. I am the shadow leader of all my associates and have no problem being the leader as I believe that I know better than they do about what activities we should partake in. I usually influence one of the more prominent ones into forcing others to do what I believe we should be doing. It's hard for me to be assertive all by myself. I am the one person in any group of friends that people are wary of messing with because people know I have influence and that I know things, they just don't know how much I do.
I've been noted as having a calming effect on others who talk to me and I have never failed to get a person to open up to me when I wanted them to. I try my best to understand why people are the way they are and what they need to do to improve. I've often been accused of being unemotional and I admit that I do usually discuss heavy things with a smile on my face and a plethora of jokes. Though, I only do that to make the atmosphere lighter, I'm uncomfortable when someone is expressing no emotion as it makes it difficult to read them.
When it comes to my personal emotions, I am pretty hit-or-miss as majority of the time, I get mad over things that I know I shouldn't be. Whenever I do start to feel any emotion other than happiness, I shut down socially. My face goes blank and I say and do very little until I'm happy again. I will only break down in front of a very trusted friend. When I'm around people I like, I'm usually laughing at every little thing and joking.
I have my very own fashion sense and it's one of the things I've become known for. I like punk rock fashion mixed with bright colors and hip hop accessories. It's much more complicated than that, but that should give you the gist of it. I never keep a hairstyle longer than 6 months as I get bored of them. I like people to see my clothes and compliment as well as copy the styles. After I'm done wearing them of course.
Potential-spotting is another handy skill I have access to. Within minutes of meeting a person, I can decide if they fit in with my goals or if they will end up obstructing them later on. I can envision a future where this person is at the very pinnacle of their talents and try to convince them to chase that, even if it goes against plans they already have. I just really hate when a person wastes a perfectly good talent that someone else would've killed for.
Spontaneous people both interest and horrify me, people who "wing" their entire life. Their fearlessness leaves me in awe, but their utter lack of common sense sometimes is annoying. I normally try to have some kind of understanding of a situation before I jump in. I can be spontaneous only when I give myself some kind of guidelines first.
People fear that I have an unjust grip on the people around me because everyone takes my side even if I'm talking in circles. I have never used my status as leader to get them to rebel against their families or anything, I just encourage people to think for themselves and how their actions can impact the world and other people. I can "transfer" my emotions to another person if need be, but I prefer not to do that.
After certain people in my friend group started doing stupid as well as immoral things, I started turning my other friends against them. I warned my friends that if they kept doing those things that everyone would dislike them and pretended that I tried to defend them. Most people who see me from a distance think that I'm an indecisive person, but I'm pulling the strings. My friends all know that I'm very hard-headed and rarely give in to pressure.
Other than those friends who were going a different path, my friends bring the greatest pleasure to my life, I left home at 17 to begin living with my friend. I was completely alienated by my family so I decided my friends would be my family. My parents didn't mind and neither did I. My friends and I like to throw parties and do artsy things together. We all share our work together and have promised to all "make it" together. We normally meet up several times a week and work on stuff then go somewhere we've never been before. We often have people we know asking if they can come hang out with us because we seem so cool.
Many people think of me as some sort of cult leader or as a cold calculated chess master, playing everyone I can. If I can talk to people though, I can show them that people willingly follow me because I have a vision and I'm pretty good at predicting future actions. People defend me of their own volition.
I got scars and I'm afraid to show them. Only 2 people in my life even know that I struggle with depression and crippling pessimism at times. I could even be bipolar as my mother and 2 of my sisters are, but I don't wanna find out.
Most of the time, I feel nothing inside, but certain people can ignite the fire within me. I really only have three emotions: happy, angry, and sad. I crave to live with people who set their own rules and use their one life in the most fun way possible. Children are like that before they get indoctrinated at school, I enjoy hearing their perspectives on life and their dreams.
I wanna find someone I can love one day. For me, love is trust and before I can ask someone else for that, I must learn to trust myself and live my life my way. I care very deeply inside, but I come off as an emotionless bag of bones to a lot of people. I love people and I care more for others than they could ever know, it's just hard to show it. I normally make jokes about how much I care or go off on rants about love. I wanna adopt kids just so I could have something to love as well as biological kids. My family sucked so I wanna make my own ideal family with a beautiful house and wife etc.
Something I'm proud to have made is the life philosophy I created for my friends and I. Right now, I reluctantly call it "The Chase" for lack of a better name at the moment. I'm still fleshing it out of course as it's a little rough at the moment.
Essentially, it is a combination of Nihilism and Hedonism. The chase of pleasure not for it's own sake, but the chase of pleasure so your life can have meaning. It is a fight against time that you will eventually lose, but you must fight for as long as you can. That's the only way to truly be alive in such a cold world.
An excerpt from the book I'm writing on the subject:
"That purpose being a lifelong dedication to the 'Chasing of Explosions.' You see, everything worth having in this world is temporary. Money, love, friends, family, and youth all will pass against the strength of time. Time may heal all wounds, but it also destroys the beauty of life. Nature dies to be reborn, people and animals die. The ones who survive become completely different creatures as time hardens their mind, body, and soul.
All creatures never know pain until time comes and corrodes their life. Weakening strong bonds, erasing your loved ones, and claiming your youth. As you get older, time kills all happiness and leaves an idealist a cynic. Eventually you'll give into them and fade away as well, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't fight it.
I do not mean you should get stuck in the past, refusing to let go, you should look to staying ahead of time as long as you can by predicting and capitalizing on the beauty of the present.
People believe the way to reach happiness is to keep pace with time as it rains havoc upon their lives and takes away everything, diligently waiting for their own time to pass. I propose that instead of being buddies with time, you try to always move a few steps ahead, savoring the beauty of the moment before it is completely corrupted by time. You must jump into as many "explosions" as you can before time inevitably catches you and wipes you from existence.
"Explosions" are intense moments that give you a good burst of life. Emotionally, spiritually, and mentally, your life should be intense. Do not settle for anything less than that which gives you a feeling akin to riding a roller coaster. Life wasn't created just so everyone could go through the motions. Aside from a few small things, you should always be in the middle of an "explosion" experiencing the moment to the greatest extent that you possibly can. Do not live life on autopilot."
If you have any questions about my philosophy or my life, feel free to ask. I have nothing to hide.
I am a 19 years old male living in America if that matters.
I am a writer, poet, philosopher, musician, rapper, and amateur filmmaker. I am a very artistic man who intends on breaking into the mainstream with all of my friends. I am the shadow leader of all my associates and have no problem being the leader as I believe that I know better than they do about what activities we should partake in. I usually influence one of the more prominent ones into forcing others to do what I believe we should be doing. It's hard for me to be assertive all by myself. I am the one person in any group of friends that people are wary of messing with because people know I have influence and that I know things, they just don't know how much I do.
I've been noted as having a calming effect on others who talk to me and I have never failed to get a person to open up to me when I wanted them to. I try my best to understand why people are the way they are and what they need to do to improve. I've often been accused of being unemotional and I admit that I do usually discuss heavy things with a smile on my face and a plethora of jokes. Though, I only do that to make the atmosphere lighter, I'm uncomfortable when someone is expressing no emotion as it makes it difficult to read them.
When it comes to my personal emotions, I am pretty hit-or-miss as majority of the time, I get mad over things that I know I shouldn't be. Whenever I do start to feel any emotion other than happiness, I shut down socially. My face goes blank and I say and do very little until I'm happy again. I will only break down in front of a very trusted friend. When I'm around people I like, I'm usually laughing at every little thing and joking.
I have my very own fashion sense and it's one of the things I've become known for. I like punk rock fashion mixed with bright colors and hip hop accessories. It's much more complicated than that, but that should give you the gist of it. I never keep a hairstyle longer than 6 months as I get bored of them. I like people to see my clothes and compliment as well as copy the styles. After I'm done wearing them of course.
Potential-spotting is another handy skill I have access to. Within minutes of meeting a person, I can decide if they fit in with my goals or if they will end up obstructing them later on. I can envision a future where this person is at the very pinnacle of their talents and try to convince them to chase that, even if it goes against plans they already have. I just really hate when a person wastes a perfectly good talent that someone else would've killed for.
Spontaneous people both interest and horrify me, people who "wing" their entire life. Their fearlessness leaves me in awe, but their utter lack of common sense sometimes is annoying. I normally try to have some kind of understanding of a situation before I jump in. I can be spontaneous only when I give myself some kind of guidelines first.
People fear that I have an unjust grip on the people around me because everyone takes my side even if I'm talking in circles. I have never used my status as leader to get them to rebel against their families or anything, I just encourage people to think for themselves and how their actions can impact the world and other people. I can "transfer" my emotions to another person if need be, but I prefer not to do that.
After certain people in my friend group started doing stupid as well as immoral things, I started turning my other friends against them. I warned my friends that if they kept doing those things that everyone would dislike them and pretended that I tried to defend them. Most people who see me from a distance think that I'm an indecisive person, but I'm pulling the strings. My friends all know that I'm very hard-headed and rarely give in to pressure.
Other than those friends who were going a different path, my friends bring the greatest pleasure to my life, I left home at 17 to begin living with my friend. I was completely alienated by my family so I decided my friends would be my family. My parents didn't mind and neither did I. My friends and I like to throw parties and do artsy things together. We all share our work together and have promised to all "make it" together. We normally meet up several times a week and work on stuff then go somewhere we've never been before. We often have people we know asking if they can come hang out with us because we seem so cool.
Many people think of me as some sort of cult leader or as a cold calculated chess master, playing everyone I can. If I can talk to people though, I can show them that people willingly follow me because I have a vision and I'm pretty good at predicting future actions. People defend me of their own volition.
I got scars and I'm afraid to show them. Only 2 people in my life even know that I struggle with depression and crippling pessimism at times. I could even be bipolar as my mother and 2 of my sisters are, but I don't wanna find out.
Most of the time, I feel nothing inside, but certain people can ignite the fire within me. I really only have three emotions: happy, angry, and sad. I crave to live with people who set their own rules and use their one life in the most fun way possible. Children are like that before they get indoctrinated at school, I enjoy hearing their perspectives on life and their dreams.
I wanna find someone I can love one day. For me, love is trust and before I can ask someone else for that, I must learn to trust myself and live my life my way. I care very deeply inside, but I come off as an emotionless bag of bones to a lot of people. I love people and I care more for others than they could ever know, it's just hard to show it. I normally make jokes about how much I care or go off on rants about love. I wanna adopt kids just so I could have something to love as well as biological kids. My family sucked so I wanna make my own ideal family with a beautiful house and wife etc.
Something I'm proud to have made is the life philosophy I created for my friends and I. Right now, I reluctantly call it "The Chase" for lack of a better name at the moment. I'm still fleshing it out of course as it's a little rough at the moment.
Essentially, it is a combination of Nihilism and Hedonism. The chase of pleasure not for it's own sake, but the chase of pleasure so your life can have meaning. It is a fight against time that you will eventually lose, but you must fight for as long as you can. That's the only way to truly be alive in such a cold world.
An excerpt from the book I'm writing on the subject:
"That purpose being a lifelong dedication to the 'Chasing of Explosions.' You see, everything worth having in this world is temporary. Money, love, friends, family, and youth all will pass against the strength of time. Time may heal all wounds, but it also destroys the beauty of life. Nature dies to be reborn, people and animals die. The ones who survive become completely different creatures as time hardens their mind, body, and soul.
All creatures never know pain until time comes and corrodes their life. Weakening strong bonds, erasing your loved ones, and claiming your youth. As you get older, time kills all happiness and leaves an idealist a cynic. Eventually you'll give into them and fade away as well, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't fight it.
I do not mean you should get stuck in the past, refusing to let go, you should look to staying ahead of time as long as you can by predicting and capitalizing on the beauty of the present.
People believe the way to reach happiness is to keep pace with time as it rains havoc upon their lives and takes away everything, diligently waiting for their own time to pass. I propose that instead of being buddies with time, you try to always move a few steps ahead, savoring the beauty of the moment before it is completely corrupted by time. You must jump into as many "explosions" as you can before time inevitably catches you and wipes you from existence.
"Explosions" are intense moments that give you a good burst of life. Emotionally, spiritually, and mentally, your life should be intense. Do not settle for anything less than that which gives you a feeling akin to riding a roller coaster. Life wasn't created just so everyone could go through the motions. Aside from a few small things, you should always be in the middle of an "explosion" experiencing the moment to the greatest extent that you possibly can. Do not live life on autopilot."
If you have any questions about my philosophy or my life, feel free to ask. I have nothing to hide.