I hope you didn’t take what I said as an insult, it wasn't intended to be…. It was a joke dude.. relax..And I wasn’t referring to all extroverts…nor was I referring to “fitting inâ€â€¦
I was only referring to the NFJ male in general….
I know several male ENFJs and a few INFJ males and I was more referring to the Ni>Fe and the Fe>Ni….. When I go out with the xNFJs… it is clearly apparent that my INFJ friends simply have a more difficult time socializing and also a more difficult time when it comes to overanalyzing things. Even they themselves admit this… that’s all I was referring to..
C’mon dude.. I’m an ENFJ… Why would I be hating on my INFJ brothers..
Haha, no worries, I didn't take it as an insult. Sorry if I went off on a tangent there. I guess I just felt since my kind are so few I'd point out that even though it is tough, I like being me. I won't deny it's hard though.
I guess most of my post was just a rant. It is frustrating sometimes being in the situations you just described. I really want to be good at socializing, but it seems no matter how hard I try, I usually go un-noticed and ignored by most people. It's weird because in my own opinion I'd rather hang out with someone like me than hang out with most of the people I've known who have a sh*t-ton of friends. Not that I'm such a great person or anything, I like to think I'm a good person, but many of the people I've known who have tons of friends/followers are unspeakable jerks. They're mean/disrespectful, overly-opinionated and generally don't treat others well. It's like they have so many friends, so many people who are at their beck and call, that they ironically take them for granted and don't treat them very well. Yet those people stay hanging around them. Eventually I just had to learn the lesson that a lot of it has nothing to do with how nice you are, how hard-working you are or even how successful you are. There are certain un-spoken connections people have which are very individual, and there is something about extreme extroverts that draws many people to them. Sometimes people want to hang around others for bad reasons that have nothing to do with you, i.e. they had a bad upbringing and they know nothing but messed up relationships, so it feels familiar to them.
Yet, even though I go through the stuff you mentioned above, I live in a generally happy world where I take pride in my ability to make my own decisions, which are more often than not the best ones for me. I can see when someone's trying to screw someone else over a mile away. That has helped myself and others on many occasions. I'm extremely aware of character. Another cool thing is that the friendships I DO make, while fewer than many others, tend to be extremely strong. In fact, I came up with a list of ten people in my life right now who I care about very deeply and feel the same way about me. That to me is astonishing. The people who have an easy time socially tend to have many more friends than I do, but also have way more enemies. I have very few, if any, enemies. People usually either like me or don't notice I exist. The latter applies most often I'd say, but it's way better than being disliked.
So now, to bring everything back to the original topic (I apologize for the deviation), ENFJs, ENFPs and extroverted feelers in general have often been angels in my life. Take my ENFJ friend who is one of my best friends for instance (and we are like brothers, he said so himself). He has better overall people-skills than I do, and is nice enough to use those skills to help me. He introduces me to others and helps me make friendships I normally would never have had. These have proven to be pretty rewarding friendships in some cases. Another great thing is that we both help each other out, and there is no thought of paying anyone back. Every time I help him with something, I know he would do the same for me. That's pretty rare in friendships from my experience. And he often helps me and hopefully thinks the same.
ENFx's also, from my experience, are able to see the good in people that goes ignored by most others. Those are important skills to have.
Ultimately, everyone has strengths and weaknesses in personality, but good people are able to make the most of their strengths and make effort to improve upon their weaknesses.