onemoretime
Dreaming the life
- Joined
- Jun 29, 2009
- Messages
- 4,455
- MBTI Type
- 3h50
Don't worry, A, I'll still play along. That other thread was getting stuffy, anyway!
No. I used to do this when I was perpetually suspicious of others' intentions. Much of this came from an emotional disconnect, along with the inability to recognize trust not only as an abstract concept, but an emotion itself.
I prefer to be somewhat detached while trying to understand a person's intentions. Someone trying to be your best friend right away is a big red flag for me.
I don't like it, but I expect it, especially living in this country.
My intention as of late has been to give people the benefit of the doubt until they do something that makes me uncomfortable somehow. Trying to analyze everyone's angle and motivation is one thing, but it's ultimately counterproductive. If I'm uncomfortable, it's a sign that my unconscious mind is picking up on something, and that is worth investigating.
I wouldn't say the animosity is enjoyable, as much as it is comfortable. It is something I'm familiar with, and have plenty of experience engaging in, for better and for worse. On the other hand, explaining my feelings and accepting criticism have been uncomfortable for me, largely as a result of family environment.
The pleasure in banter largely stems from being able to look at a given conversation from a completely different angle. You take something that a person has given you, shift it just slightly, and return it to them so they can appreciate it in a way they may not have realized before. When done gently, this can be a wonderful way of sharing with the other person. On the other hand, it can become destructive sarcasm very easily.
You guys actually like it when someone keeps you at a distance? Watches you with hawk eyes (but still engages you, though with a ten foot pole at the very least)
No. I used to do this when I was perpetually suspicious of others' intentions. Much of this came from an emotional disconnect, along with the inability to recognize trust not only as an abstract concept, but an emotion itself.
..and is this preferable at first, before you get to know the person?
I prefer to be somewhat detached while trying to understand a person's intentions. Someone trying to be your best friend right away is a big red flag for me.
And for that matter, do you even enjoy that someone looks at you with a certain amount of...distrust at first?
I don't like it, but I expect it, especially living in this country.
Lastly, is this how you yourself deal with new people you meet?
My intention as of late has been to give people the benefit of the doubt until they do something that makes me uncomfortable somehow. Trying to analyze everyone's angle and motivation is one thing, but it's ultimately counterproductive. If I'm uncomfortable, it's a sign that my unconscious mind is picking up on something, and that is worth investigating.
What is with enjoying the animosity that goes on and is that what your bantering is based on and what you relish?
I wouldn't say the animosity is enjoyable, as much as it is comfortable. It is something I'm familiar with, and have plenty of experience engaging in, for better and for worse. On the other hand, explaining my feelings and accepting criticism have been uncomfortable for me, largely as a result of family environment.
The pleasure in banter largely stems from being able to look at a given conversation from a completely different angle. You take something that a person has given you, shift it just slightly, and return it to them so they can appreciate it in a way they may not have realized before. When done gently, this can be a wonderful way of sharing with the other person. On the other hand, it can become destructive sarcasm very easily.