How to communicate with an ExxJ

[JustHer]

Be yourself, it's better to get along naturally with somebody rather than changing your style in order not to create friction. If your interaction with us is problematic, well, probably we know it and we'll both be better off avoiding each other.

x 2

 

[proteanmix]

And this is where I think Fe deviates from Te. I don't mind talking to people for the hell of it. Interesting for me is variable.

You missed your bus? That sucks! When's the next one coming?
You hate your job? Me too! Misery loves company. Let's go get a drink!
You broke all the bones in your ankle? What in the world where you doing? I like your RoboBoot, it's nice for kicking aggravating people in the shins.

I find people interesting and the conversation will evolve from there.

 

[Totenkindly]

And this is where I think Fe deviates from Te. I don't mind talking to people for the hell of it. Interesting for me is variable.

Lol. Relating takes too much energy for me to spend much of it on boring people.

 

[FDG]

Anyway, if the purpose of the thread is something on the line of: if you like an EJ/are friends with one, what do you have to avoid doing not to piss him-her off? Then my two cents are - valid only for my person - don't change plans, especially not in the 30 minutes before we had planned to do something. There's nothing that pissess me off as much as that (I'm fine if you tell me the day before, I'll find something else to do).

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

I don't think ENTJ's are as intimidating as you think.

Just because you don't understand the intricacies of international finance, or the search for the Higgs Boson at the Large Hadron Collider doesn't mean you have nothing to contribute to a conversation with an ENTJ.

We may know about things you don't, but you know about things we don't. For instance, I don't really know how to plan out and buy groceries. I'm super busy and just end up going to psuedo fast food places like moe's and panera.

I don't know how to get a vinegar stain out of carpet. I don't know how to do a lot of things that many people see as common sense.

It's kind of like imagining the audience in their underwear. Just realize that while the ENTJ may have a vast archive of mental knowledge about things you don't, they may just have trouble tying their shoes in the morning!

 

[JustHer]

I don't think ENTJ's are as intimidating as you think.

Just because you don't understand the intricacies of international finance, or the search for the Higgs Boson at the Large Hadron Collider doesn't mean you have nothing to contribute to a conversation with an ENTJ.

We may know about things you don't, but you know about things we don't. For instance, I don't really know how to plan out and buy groceries. I'm super busy and just end up going to psuedo fast food places like moe's and panera.

I don't know how to get a vinegar stain out of carpet. I don't know how to do a lot of things that many people see as common sense.

It's kind of like imagining the audience in their underwear. Just realize that while the ENTJ may have a vast archive of mental knowledge about things you don't, they may just have trouble tying their shoes in the morning!

This really looks like you think non ENTJs know nothing other than cleaning and cooking.

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

This really looks like you think non ENTJs know nothing other than cleaning and cooking. "laugh"

Unintentional dickery is my forte`

 

[runvardh]

Eh, the major issues I've had with Dom Fe has been with people who actually have issues. My ESFJ paternal grandmother is one of my favourite family members. I don't think I've had much interaction with ESTJs, though there are two ENTJs I've had some issues with that seem to be easily explained away with immaturity.

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

I give up all attempt. EJ are monsters, they (we) should be electrocuted, tortured, waterboarded, etc. so that other more forgiving and nice characters (everyone else) may roam in the planet.

After all, IJ, IP and EP are sooooo nice, they can afford to nuke and skin EJ's alive.

'Nuff said.

 

[proteanmix]

Yeah, I don't know why but I went eff it with this thread yesterday.

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

I give up all attempt. EJ are monsters, they (we) should be electrocuted, tortured, waterboarded, etc. so that other more forgiving and nice characters (everyone else) may roam in the planet.

After all, IJ, IP and EP are sooooo nice, they can afford to nuke and skin EJ's alive.

'Nuff said.

You know we would create an orbiting space fortress from which to rule the planet right.

 

[Domino]

In information exchange: concise, the least amount of extraneous detail possible, focused, facts only, no repetition. I don't like clutter when I'm trying to make a decision or form a plan of attack. My Ti demands it.

In personal exchange: Say what you need to however you need to. Cry, shout, shake a fist at the sky, laugh, whatever. Repeat yourself. Make no sense. My Fe allows it.

 

[runvardh]

You know we would create an orbiting space fortress from which to rule the planet right.

You mean you haven't done that yet? I've been disillusioned! What kind of slack-ass timetable are you guys on?!!

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

Ahh. I'm not really giving up. My previous post was in jest. It's a good subject, and we're not nearly enough tired with this Thank you protean for bringing this topic up.

For one thing, I agree with your idea of EJ as being "capable", i.e. "you're opposing my idea by yourself and what army?"

That's one thing. One point I really, really need to add in here:

I was thinking the most humble person who would be reasonable with anyone on the planet. Believe it or not, that would be me, on one occasion. (You don't believe. That's okay. I didn't expect you to believe.) Anyways, I'm explaining some stuff to some extremely unreasonable person. I'm explaining it all away - I'm treating them like a respectable human being, even though they just throw shit my way. For example, I'm explaining why our company can't just give away all stuff because someone wants us to.

First they seem like someone from a charity organization.

The next moment they seem like a bum.

Give or take a few moments, they seem like they're a part of the mafia.

Accelerate this a bit and they seem like terrorists, and they're still not giving it up.

At this point, it gets fucking annoying. At this point, I might safely say: sir, get out, or you will be forcibly removed from our premises. Have a good day.

My point: reasonability is a very good thing to be had with reasonable persons. With other kind of persons (or situations), it may help to just be rigid. It may just be self preservation.

I mean, if someone's extremely annoying and unreasonable, it's just better for everyone to be tough at them. (EJ). Some might disapprove. Some might say, lets allow them to do all they want. If you don't allow people to do everything they want (like raping your daughter), you're an intolerant nazi. You should allow people to do everything you want.

I mean, EJ is handled in a really bad way in here. I often feel sad with it.. sometimes like murkrow, him feeling he's not being listened, and other EJ, many of them feeling they're not wanted in here. Many of us are being ridiculed for us holding some "standards".. when non-EJ know, there "can't be any standards".

Yeah, it's hard for us. We come here to play our part.

A tired part, sometimes.

(Now let me see my post for clarity. Sorry, it's been an extremely tiresome day at work.)

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

Ahh. I'm not really giving up. My previous post was in jest. It's a good subject, and we're not nearly enough tired with this Thank you protean for bringing this topic up.

For one thing, I agree with your idea of EJ as being "capable", i.e. "you're opposing my idea by yourself and what army?"

That's one thing. One point I really, really need to add in here:

I was thinking the most humble person who would be reasonable with anyone on the planet. Believe it or not, that would be me, on one occasion. (You don't believe. That's okay. I didn't expect you to believe.) Anyways, I'm explaining some stuff to some extremely unreasonable person. I'm explaining it all away - I'm treating them like a respectable human being, even though they just throw shit my way. For example, I'm explaining why our company can't just give away all stuff because someone wants us to.

First they seem like someone from a charity organization.

The next moment they seem like a bum.

Give or take a few moments, they seem like they're a part of the mafia.

Accelerate this a bit and they seem like terrorists, and they're still not giving it up.

At this point, it gets fucking annoying. At this point, I might safely say: sir, get out, or you will be forcibly removed from our premises. Have a good day.

My point: reasonability is a very good thing to be had with reasonable persons. With other kind of persons (or situations), it may help to just be rigid. It may just be self preservation.

I mean, if someone's extremely annoying and unreasonable, it's just better for everyone to be tough at them. (EJ). Some might disapprove. Some might say, lets allow them to do all they want. If you don't allow people to do everything they want (like raping your daughter), you're an intolerant nazi. You should allow people to do everything you want.

I mean, EJ is handled in a really bad way in here. I often feel sad with it.. sometimes like murkrow, him feeling he's not being listened, and other EJ, many of them feeling they're not wanted in here. Many of us are being ridiculed for us holding some "standards".. when non-EJ know, there "can't be any standards".

Yeah, it's hard for us. We come here to play our part.

A tired part, sometimes.

(Now let me see my post for clarity. Sorry, it's been an extremely tiresome day at work.)

Here's the silver lining buddy.

EVERYONE in this thread is trying to understand us so that we can improve relations between the types.

Don't give up hope.

 

[Domino]

"you're opposing my idea by yourself and what army?"

+1

 

[runvardh]

"you're opposing my idea by yourself and what army?"

There was a time when this described me too. I've become quite tired since then...

 

[ceecee]

My father is an ENTJ. Anyone with even a smattering of type knowledge would see this. Very classic - In control period, gets the job done, assertive, aggressive- but that has toned down much more as he's gotten older (and I suspect had grandchildren. It seemed to happen at the same time). I am much closer to him than my (likely) SJ mother. He is fun, can speak on many subjects, very educated. He's been in law enforcement all of his adult life, large city and at the federal level but retired this summer. Here's an anecdote that sums him up. He was called for jury duty a couple months ago. DUI case and I was shocked he made it past the voir dire -

They voted me jury foreman.
Oh? That's a shock.
You think so?
No. I think you made it because you verbally whipped the pants of the attorneys and the jury is just afraid of you.

He knows this is not me being a smart ass. He is the extroverted shadow of myself and I am just painfully honest. We get along wonderfully and always have. He's a great father.

ENFJ - This is my husband and I have babbled on many times here about him and his wonderfulness. Very mature and healthy ENFJ. Charismatic, intelligent, successful, an outstanding father. Very J, logical and calm. It is no surprise that he and my father get along fabulously. When my parents visit they golf, hang out, talk for hours. They are very much alike. I know my dad has embraced some F in his older years and the mellowing is quite pleasant. I love them both obviously and they both have a few traits I'd like to shake right out of them at times but all and all there is much more good than bad.

 

[OrangeAppled]

In my experience, they tend to be relatively crappy listeners.

Word to the wise, never give an ETJ advice, especially of the romantic kind.

:horor:

An ENTJ just PM'd me for romantic advice - is this a trap?!