[ENFP] Unhealthy ENFP?

[Nonsensical]

Us ENFPs never have fun.

It's unlike an ENFP to turn something serious into a play ground.

And Philosophy is a myth!

 

[Skyward]

Us ENFPs never have fun.

It's unlike an ENFP to turn something serious into a play ground.

And Philosophy is a myth!

This is an example of an ENFP randomly turning the day into Opposite Day for funsies.

 

[Skyward]

I wonder how much of that's dependent on developmental stage and cultural influences though. And I do remember now when I behaved like an ISTJ. When I was very little, I actually planned out each day meticulously down to the minute.

Could anyone point me to literature on healthy/unhealthy types? What's the intellectual basis for what we're talking about?

http://www.personalitypage.com/ - Has pages on self development. That's where I got a lot of my stuff.

The Lenore Thomson Exegesis Wiki - This one might have some info too.

 

[Galusha]

Us ENFPs never have fun.

It's unlike an ENFP to turn something serious into a play ground.

And Philosophy is a myth!

Actually, I'm beginning to think that this is very true...

"unhealthy" ENFPs get offended by everything, and then insist that they're being rational because they've decided that rationality is important. ENFPs can be very pleasant, and you can have fun with them, but they generally give the impression that they're rarely- if ever- truly happy. It's kind of sad that a feeling type can't be forthright about their emotions unless they decide on whatever odd merit-based system that you've earned their honesty.

And philosophy is a myth. I started it

 

[Clonester]

Actually, I'm beginning to think that this is very true...

"unhealthy" ENFPs get offended by everything, and then insist that they're being rational because they've decided that rationality is important. ENFPs can be very pleasant, and you can have fun with them, but they generally give the impression that they're rarely- if ever- truly happy. It's kind of sad that a feeling type can't be forthright about their emotions unless they decide on whatever odd merit-based system that you've earned their honesty.

1- I read a lot that ENFP's get easily offended or take things personally. Is this true for many ENFP's? I tend not to take things that way, I kinda just let it roll off my back. Maybe well developed T, or being a guy cause this?

2- Very true about not being truly happy. Well not happiness but satisfaction. I'm very happy with myself and what I do with my life. I have a lot to be happy about. But I never stop working to improve myself, I'm never satisfied with the status quo.

 

[PeaceBaby]

When I'm under a lot of stress I tend to act quite a bit like an INFP. Longing to jump out of the box that's closing in on me. I want to quit all of my obligations and run away.

Is this how you think INFP's are normally?

 

[Nonsensical]

Is this how you think INFP's are normally?

Oh, no. I was making two statements, actually. That I tend to act a bit more like an INFP while feeling like I'm being closed in.

 

[Nonsensical]

Actually, I'm beginning to think that this is very true...

"unhealthy" ENFPs get offended by everything, and then insist that they're being rational because they've decided that rationality is important. ENFPs can be very pleasant, and you can have fun with them, but they generally give the impression that they're rarely- if ever- truly happy. It's kind of sad that a feeling type can't be forthright about their emotions unless they decide on whatever odd merit-based system that you've earned their honesty.

And philosophy is a myth. I started it

You seem very confident in your presumption, or accusation. I'm not going to lie, though..there is some truth to what you said.

 

[Strawberrylover]

The Personality Page - Has pages on self development. That's where I got a lot of my stuff.

The Lenore Thomson Exegesis Wiki - This one might have some info too.

Ooh, hadn't gotten into Lenore Thomson yet. Thanks!

 

[Tiny Army]

When an ENFP is offended it's often by the straw that broke the camel's back. We're not just offended by the one thing, we're offended by a pattern of behaviour. One thing is easy to forgive. The same thing a hundred times is not quite as easy.

Unfortunately, you won't often hear about the hundred other times until the back has already broken.

 

[boondocked]

I find that when under stress/the blues I tend to drain the people around me. I'll need to talk that junk out pretty much constantly until it's resolved. And I don't know for sure, but I can imagine, that tendency taxes people.

 

[Skyward]

Actually, I'm beginning to think that this is very true...

"unhealthy" ENFPs get offended by everything, and then insist that they're being rational because they've decided that rationality is important. ENFPs can be very pleasant, and you can have fun with them, but they generally give the impression that they're rarely- if ever- truly happy. It's kind of sad that a feeling type can't be forthright about their emotions unless they decide on whatever odd merit-based system that you've earned their honesty.

And philosophy is a myth. I started it

This seems to be true for every NF, but Clonester had good input. Happiness is different from satisfaction. I thin ENFPs, of all the NFs, probably are the most satisfied with who they are. But then again, all people are different.

 

[BerberElla]

When an ENFP is offended it's often by the straw that broke the camel's back. We're not just offended by the one thing, we're offended by a pattern of behaviour. One thing is easy to forgive. The same thing a hundred times is not quite as easy.

Unfortunately, you won't often hear about the hundred other times until the back has already broken.

OMG, yes, it takes me ages and ages to get to a stage where I explode, I forgive and understand, forgive and find understanding a bit harder than the first time, but ok, let's try again, and on and on it keeps going until I snap because it's too much.

It's true they don't often hear about all the things leading up to it, but in my own way I do tell them, in various ways, even outright sometimes, exactly what it is they are doing to piss me off, and that makes my final explosion even worse because I feel like they KNEW how I felt, I told them many times, and still they did it again. :steam:

 

[Tiny Army]

It's true they don't often hear about all the things leading up to it, but in my own way I do tell them, in various ways, even outright sometimes, exactly what it is they are doing to piss me off, and that makes my final explosion even worse because I feel like they KNEW how I felt, I told them many times, and still they did it again. :steam:

Bingo!

 

[Galusha]

1- I read a lot that ENFP's get easily offended or take things personally. Is this true for many ENFP's? I tend not to take things that way, I kinda just let it roll off my back. Maybe well developed T, or being a guy cause this?

2- Very true about not being truly happy. Well not happiness but satisfaction. I'm very happy with myself and what I do with my life. I have a lot to be happy about. But I never stop working to improve myself, I'm never satisfied with the status quo.

Well, of course the ease at which people become offended is extremely subjective, but I've noticed with many ENFPs-- especially unhealty ones-- that things tend to set them off sooner than most types, and once they've decided that they don't like something, they're pretty convinced that there's a good reason to be offended (sometimes they have one, but not always). Likewise, whether or not they forgive whoever offended them seems unpredictable, as an outsider.

The desire to better yourself isn't a bad thing, and being dissatisfied with the status quo is only human. It's just that if you take the time to become friends with an ENFP, you just get more aware that their apparent satisfaction or happiness is a mask. I've seen my ENFPs happy, but only fleetingly-- the sensation never seems to last for more than a few hours.

You seem very confident in your presumption, or accusation. I'm not going to lie, though..there is some truth to what you said.

I'm not trying to accuse anyone. I'm just trying to explain what it appears to be from my point of view. I realize that I don't actually feel what you feel or have an innate understanding of how other people work. I'm actually very bad at both. But I am glad that you know I'm not completely imagining things.

This seems to be true for every NF, but Clonester had good input. Happiness is different from satisfaction. I thin ENFPs, of all the NFs, probably are the most satisfied with who they are. But then again, all people are different.

Once again, offering observations, though I definitely don't think that NFs are the most satisfied in general unless we decide to accuse them of being more egotistical than the NTs-- and we all know that's not true

 

[chris1207]

I actually used the unhealthy descriptions of ESFJ's and ENFJ's on personalitypage.com to help me figure out which type I was because I could only identify with so many of the positive traits (70-80ish each.) With the unhealthy ENFJ profile it was more like 90 to ESFJ's 30 percent.

I like what you said about unhealthy types, Skyward. It's most certainly true that I sit moping about in my own world never going out doing anything because I'm afraid of the world. What is really cool is I've recently managed to develop my Ni and Ti to an extent without really having to go outside of my comfort zone. It's cool cuz now questions just kind of pop into my head and I reach conclusions which may or may not have personal connotations associated with them. What's more is that I don't feel the same anxious need to express these conclusions that I do with those arrived at by Fe. They are what they are: A way of answer the ?'s posed by Ni. Good times

 

[Nonsensical]

This seems to be true for every NF, but Clonester had good input. Happiness is different from satisfaction. I thin ENFPs, of all the NFs, probably are the most satisfied with who they are. But then again, all people are different.

ENFPs the most satisfied with who they are? I'd think we have the hardest time to staying true to ourselves, which is a constant struggle to me, as one of my virtues is staying true to myself. I don't know how other NFs function comparatively and I don't know how well you can do the same, so we can't really place which NF is the most satisfied with themselves.

 

[Moiety]

^I agree that I always try to stay true to myself, but I get why an ENFP would come across as the most satisfied with his/herself. I think, most of the time, we are comfortable in our own skins. I know I am.

hmm, well honestly i think when people say unhealthy they mean "shadow" and healthy is probably natural state. some people actually LIVE in their shadow modes for long periods of time (me). its really not bull.

Sure, I can recognize a period of my life where I behaved in a ISTJy way. Introverted, no patience for abstraction - "no-BS" approach, colder and even more logic-driven and picky and judgmental and excessively concerned with details.

Does that win me a "unhealthy ENFP" label? Because the thing is, I don't see people using it in a "going through a rough patch/stressed period" sense, but rather in "that guy/girl has always been like this" sense. Hence my issue with the term.

 

[sculpting]

ENFPs the most satisfied with who they are? I'd think we have the hardest time to staying true to ourselves, which is a constant struggle to me, as one of my virtues is staying true to myself. I don't know how other NFs function comparatively and I don't know how well you can do the same, so we can't really place which NF is the most satisfied with themselves.

I stay true to the people I care deeply for-the clan/group/batch of them. On my own I can use a lot of Te and be satisfied and self sufficient and apply Fi in a utilitarian way for the group and be okay and be satisfied. However if I try and get in relationships I get all nutty and Fi becomes focused on that individual, rather than the group, and then I have a hard time being centered and even understanding who I am let alone being true to myself. I think I am more productive alone due to this oddness.

^I agree that I always try to stay true to myself, but I get why an ENFP would come across as the most satisfied with his/herself. I think, most of the time, we are comfortable in our own skins. I know I am.



Sure, I can recognize a period of my life where I behaved in a ISTJy way. Introverted, no patience for abstraction - "no-BS" approach, colder and even more logic-driven and picky and judgmental and excessively concerned with details.

Does that win me a "unhealthy ENFP" label? Because the thing is, I don't see people using it in a "going through a rough patch/stressed period" sense, but rather in "that guy/girl has always been like this" sense. Hence my issue with the term.

did it feel like a really odd INFJ?

 

[Xellotath]

My definition of an unhealthy ENFP is one that uses Fi to explain absolutely everything. To be so stuck that you end up assigning "good and bad" to all things, over-analyzing every person including yourself so everybody can be judged in an Fi way rather than honestly embracing their immediate, natural ambiguity and coming his her own opinion. It's a daunting task to -really- mature because if you're strategically inclined you will only end up validating your own construct.
ex: I just said applying Fi and diminishing ambiguity was bad. An unhealthy ENFP would read that, build a set of hypothetical behaviors around that sole value-judgment, incorporate it and pretend that he or she holds that opinion already or keep the person talking so they reveal more information. (To either connect with the person, or inspire them.) At the end of the day, he or she will not have really analyzed the premise in question by herself, but merely situationally extrapolated from the statement because at the core was nothing but a "good / bad" dichotomous judgment feeling.

Sorry, its kind of late.. I can't think straight right now. More concise response later.