Loneliest type?

[dotdalidot]

There are loads of people within reach, if you want to meet people, it's not that tough.

If you feel lonely, sitting around being lonely and doing nothing wont change the situation either.

So from both angles, it appears to be irrational to feel lonely. At least to me.

Hmm, that's all true. But it's also true that one can be surrounded by thousands of people, have many friends, etc. but still feel lonely. At least, that's what I've experienced.

I don't know, I think loneliness deals more with communication. If a person tries to communicate but cannot be understood or isn't being heard, etc., it's the same as not communicating at all, which is the same as not interacting at all. Which is the same as being alone. Which will, in turn, breed the feeling of loneliness.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

It's not Introverts who feel lonely, it's Extroverts. Introverts like being alone, thus why they don't get lonely too often.

That's actually a misconception. An introvert may process inwardly, and be worn out by people in excess, but many introverts thrive on the company and intimacy of a few trusted loved ones. Just because we process on the inside and don't self-disclose constantly doesn't necessarily mean we enjoy being alone a lot.

Especially introverts with auxiliary Fe

Actually, I'm not lonely very often. But I'm picky.

 

[lost verses]

Hmm, that's all true. But it's also true that one can be surrounded by thousands of people, have many friends, etc. but still feel lonely. At least, that's what I've experienced.

I don't know, I think loneliness deals more with communication. If a person tries to communicate but cannot be understood or isn't being heard, etc., it's the same as not communicating at all, which is the same as not interacting at all. Which is the same as being alone. Which will, in turn, breed the feeling of loneliness.

Yes, this. If you're surrounded by people who don't understand you it's still like being alone.

 

[garbage]

I'm also seconding the "lonely Extrovert" phenomenon. Or thirding. Or whatever.

Often, I just consider some of my solitary tasks at work completely boring until I can get someone else involved, or go home from some event and immediately want to talk to someone again.

 

[violaine]

I don't really experience loneliness very often. I can't even think of the last time I was lonely.

I too, perhaps mistakenly, thought it would be extroverts who experience loneliness more acutely, based on the Es I know well and the idea that Es are energized by the outer world.

I think loneliness is different from alienation though, which I imagine anyone who feels misunderstood might feel.

 

[Uytuun]

INFP

 

[OrangeAppled]

INFP. I've felt lonely and outcast most of my life, even if it's in my head or of my own doing.

INFPs long to connect with people, but can have trouble doing so....which results in loneliness.

 

[Quinlan]

If you put each type in isolation for a week I bet ESF_s would be the loneliest over that time.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

If you put each type in isolation for a week I bet ESF_s would be the loneliest over that time.

But I thought the OP was about which type is generally lonely and why they have that problem. None of the ESFxs I know are lonely because they fill up their time hanging around with others and usually fit in quite nicely with other people.

 

[Quinlan]

But I thought the OP was about which type is generally lonely and why they have that problem. None of the ESFxs I know are lonely because they fill up their time hanging around with others and usually fit in quite nicely with other people.

*checks OP* Oh yes, you're right!

Shy/socially anxious ESF_ then but that's not really a type.

 

[lost verses]

INFP. I've felt lonely and outcast most of my life, even if it's in my head or of my own doing.

INFPs long to connect with people, but can have trouble doing so....which results in loneliness.

Exactly...and I definitely know what you're talking about.

 

[OrangeAppled]

But I thought the OP was about which type is generally lonely and why they have that problem. None of the ESFxs I know are lonely because they fill up their time hanging around with others and usually fit in quite nicely with other people.

True...The ESFX's seem to have an easy time making friends. My ESFP sister makes friends wherever she goes, and my ESFJ grandma can strike up a conversation with almost any stranger.

 

[Matthew_Z]

INFPs, easily. Even while other types may not have as many people around them, they won't get lonely from this anywhere as easily.

 

[FemMecha]

*checks OP* Oh yes, you're right!

Shy/socially anxious ESF_ then but that's not really a type.

I would agree with that.

I've dealt with loneliness because even though I'm an introvert, I really do need one hermit buddy, a confidant. I'm not comfortable being completely alone. I get disconnected and start to feel like a non-person. A trusted friend is like a link to reality. Crowds are what bother me and wear me down. I could go the rest of my life without being around a large group of people at once.

 

[Rhapsody]

I'll throw another vote in for INFP (go us!). I think the problem for INFPs is what dotdalidot said, that we can be surrounded by people but still feel isolated from them. Which is strange for me personally, because I'm not someone who feels particularly misunderstood or alienated, but when I really think about it, I don't feel connected to people either.

Although I never thought this feeling was unique to INFPs (is it? ).

 

[Tallulah]

Yeah, it's not INTP. I get lonely every once in a great while, but most of the time, I realize that being around people can make you feel more alone than being alone can. Sometimes I wish for a soulmate/mindmate, but mostly I don't notice that I'm alone until someone points it out by asking nosy questions. I'm always wrapped up in my own thoughts/pursuits.

 

[entropie]

The loneliest type is always the Spiderpig:

 

[The Decline]

Just tell him to be himself and be proud of his type.

If I was to try and be more like an ENFP, I'd feel hella lonely too. But I'm not, I'm happy with who I am.

We create our own happiness and inner emotions for a great deal I'd say for the average INTP, only a quarter of our happiness is related to external sources we have no control over. It's a matter of choice. o/

Come to think of it, my friend mentioned that his test results indicated an idea type that was ES-something, and he seems to pine over generically popular, outgoing and "out of his league" girls. Perhaps he's inclined to think that his type isn't helping him in his pursuits, and thus values not being lonely in this manner. Either that or he needs to just get laid real bad

I've noticed that a lot of people indicate INFPs are very lonely. I'd like to wonder about how changing the F to a T makes a difference in this. As an INTP I sometimes get a strong sense of nihilistic disconnect from the world, as if my social consciousness and intellectual concern for it gets dampened and turned into an alienated frustration and apathy. Perhaps the Feeling INFP relates to this, but in a more personal fashion- extreme loneliness and depression from feeling a lack of interpersonal, positive closeness among people in their environment.. or simply a lack of people around that they can "heal" to create understanding and atmospheric positivity.

 

[Saffronsocks]

I remember my first clear perception of the lonely Extrovert syndome. It totally turned my view of the world upside down! And made the erratic behaviour of some "people-people" so much more understandable... so from personal experience I'm gonna say ESFP, just because of their apparent inability to be in a room alone with themselves without lunging for a telephone.

 

[ladyinspring]

There's a chronic loneliness inherent in being an INFP. A feeling of detachment from humanity that is persistent. Feeling "off" but wanting so much to be a part, yet at the same time holding yourself apart. INFPs require depth in relationships in order to stave off the deep loneliness that's there even when they're mostly happy. But depth in relationships is very hard to find.

INFPs long to connect with people, but can have trouble doing so....which results in loneliness.

Exactly. This quote from the book Conscious Orientation says it well:

"In spite of ever-repeated collisions with the world and with other people, they can never give up their wish to love them both.

They conceal their sensitiveness behind a mask, which may be childish or simple, or again conventional, remote, or it may be friendly. But behind this mask the search goes on for someone who will understand, and for a community which will embody their ideals."