oh. i guess its more reflective of my thought processes with some... relationships i am dealing with... my not backing down is probably more to do with loyalty to something in this case...
but yeah. i dunno why i bothered to mention it in the first place. some spur of the moment thing i guess...
Yeh, makes sense. I don't normally back down if I care strongly either way. Or have noticed something I think none of the world sees.
I'm going to offend a few people maybe by taking up the topic and discussing it, but your point isn't that bad. As an ENFP guy you often find that you aren't the most forward person. You create strong bonds of friendship then girls run off and take the first smooth guy who comes through and talks them into bed. To tell the truth they probably liked you but didn't form that romantic bond at all because of your approach. That doesn't mean you change and be something you aren't, it is just good to realise so when you approach them to ask such things you understand the response. All people get sexually frustrated also, it is actually cruel to withhold sometimes. I learnt this when I had a friend who was STP maybe. Abstinence can be control as much as sleeping with someone. At least with the second you aren't dangling them in almost. You let the bond be complete. I was almost screaming sleep with her you asshole or at least kiss her. It's good to make things clear with people sometimes. It isn't romantic or anything like that, but it means they can make the decisions for the right reasons and not get caught up on things. Removes the whole games from it all (I'm talking about the damaging non fun part, not the flirting). One of the best lines I've ever heard as an ENFP was "give me some credit". Have that in your mind when you approach these things, the other person is just as complex and capable as you are. And their reasons are too.
p.s. if you want to out do the other guys as ENFP you can probably outflirt and create more interest than most, it is just we get quiet and don't back our skills because we think as a guy we have to do it the way the others do. Hence things like the comment you made. We start believing in conforming to things society says. As you get older and believe less in some barriers that aren't there, it gets quite easy to be honest and to not have people wander and feel no romance. Have a look at the perception of ENFPs in general. I've heard late 20s some ENFP guys realise this ability and go a bit nuts and to the other extreme. So yeh, back yourself in on it. We are too self conscious sometimes. But if you take notice of what that Ne is telling you rather than getting focussed on yourself, you'll realise the girls actually find connecting quite sexy
, and probably a lot more than "hey want a fuck". The ideal I'm guessing for most people would be sex with someone who connects and loves them, it's just if you demonise sex then it is a bit unattractive to want you for it.
