Are you cereal? At least pigs, roosters, and snakes are real, cascadeco. Geez.Perhaps South Park's Man Bear Pig was truly a supreme sp-dom figure. / I had to, this discussion made me think of it
Are you cereal? At least pigs, roosters, and snakes are real, cascadeco. Geez.
which instinct do you think most people would be drawn to?
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Naturally So.... Or Sx, those sly devils can be quite the charmer, yet their extreme opinions or behavior are a turn off to ppl. Hm.. Sx/ So vs So/Sx, I guess So. Hahaha
Besides, I don't see Sx connecting with ppl on light stuff, and you need light stuff to connect with ppl in the first place. -_-
Haha no! that’s not true... I’m a 7 man no way am I going all deep 24/7 I’d end it all tomorrow if I had to live that way. Here’s one of the things I notice when I’m conversing with a strong social dom... they are looking all over the room and I’m like... “dude are you even listening to all of this incredibly lighthearted stuff I’m saying? Connect with me damn it!...make me feel like I’m the only one in the room or you are getting kicked out of my imaginary tribe so fast...â€
It’s not the stuff we talk about that needs to be deep...we just want that connected feeling/relating/I’m worth your full attention feeling.
show off. You’re a show off that’s “whoâ€...
I mean, if I don’t care about the person all that much...or if there’s like an unspoken agreement with an intimate to trip out on the people while we occasionally give each other the “holy fuck did you see that?†eyes...I can do that too but it’s not my regular style...
whoops [MENTION=6723]phobik[/MENTION]
Haha no! that’s not true... I’m a 7 man no way am I going all deep 24/7 I’d end it all tomorrow if I had to live that way. Here’s one of the things I notice when I’m conversing with a strong social dom... they are looking all over the room and I’m like... “dude are you even listening to all of this incredibly lighthearted stuff I’m saying? Connect with me damn it!...make me feel like I’m the only one in the room or you are getting kicked out of my imaginary tribe so fast...â€
It’s not the stuff we talk about that needs to be deep...we just want that connected feeling/relating/I’m worth your full attention feeling.
Haha no! that’s not true... I’m a 7 man no way am I going all deep 24/7 I’d end it all tomorrow if I had to live that way. Here’s one of the things I notice when I’m conversing with a strong social dom... they are looking all over the room and I’m like... “dude are you even listening to all of this incredibly lighthearted stuff I’m saying? Connect with me damn it!...make me feel like I’m the only one in the room or you are getting kicked out of my imaginary tribe so fast...â€
It’s not the stuff we talk about that needs to be deep...we just want that connected feeling/relating/I’m worth your full attention feeling.
I don't.
I don't want to be an sx dom anymore, I quit.
Lol, damn. That's actually really cute/sweet. Interesting, I do try to focus when on one-to-one convos but irl if they're saying something idk about I go full retard for few mins. If I keep direct eye contact they feel like II'm being dominate andthat's not what I'm trying to do so it gets rlly awkward lol. I think I maybe So/Sx so I can keep up with the intensity if that makes sense. Thinking about it now, your description would fit my parents, especially my mom So/Sp. Makes sense.
I'd drive you crazy. I'm easily distracted (usually internally wandering off) and aloof. My Sx-blind coworker tries to talk to me whenever I'm eating lunch and intensely focused on whatever I'm reading/studying, and it's usually about the most bullshit stuff. I've thrown all niceties out the window and just mostly ignore her.
It's only the two of us in the room, so that's probably really uncomfortable for her (muahahaha).
A microscopic smidgen of me feels like a garbage human for doing so, but WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? FAKE IT? Nothankyou.
I'd drive you crazy. I'm easily distracted (usually internally wandering off) and aloof. My Sx-blind coworker tries to talk to me whenever I'm eating lunch and intensely focused on whatever I'm reading/studying, and it's usually about the most bullshit stuff. I've thrown all niceties out the window and just mostly ignore her.
It's only the two of us in the room, so that's probably really uncomfortable for her (muahahaha).
A microscopic smidgen of me feels like a garbage human for doing so, but WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? FAKE IT? Nothankyou.
I don't think I've really perceived myself as loving especially not in the general sense, I've always had a perception of myself as selfish and self-absorbed. Which isn't completely accurate, since I don't feel like much of what I do or strive to be is for myself at all. Though love feels like it's too conscious to describe any of it. Almost like it perverts it all in a way too. I almost feel like inevitability is the word I'm looking for in that the cause of my striving is something my my mind returns to inevitably and like everything organized/emerged itself around it. Without that and in what it didn't address directly, this rejection, I don't even feel like I know what to do or how to find the motivation to do it. People sometimes tell me to do things I enjoy and it is so confusing in that ages ago I sacrificed myself to someone who has long forgotten about me so they have two lives unknowingly and I don't have one. That is, I don't see a point in doing anything or even see a way to do something if it doesn't make me worthwhile in that extremely specific way. I didn't even realize that until I was 20 and circumstances outside my control pretty much made it impossible for me to become something worthwhile with regards to the aforementioned. Which certainly didn't help all of the other things that eventually pushed me into catatonic depression. That realization was the worst part actually and some of those things involved physical pain.
Having met people who only do everything for their own benefit, I felt markedly different and sure that we don't work the same way at all. But rather, in opposite ways in our motivations. Though none of this is to say I'm not definitely selfish for most people, and even when I can't realize my link to certain others, it's like I throw a tantrum that is designed to hurt myself and them because I don't know how to deal with any of it or myself or how to get over it and have some sort of compromise relationship with said people. Yet it's not like that destruction is even distracting so it's all very futile. I feel like my mind's eyes never waver but otherwise it's just dark, empty, and there is nothing, just one or two tethers back. I don't know, it's like creation, destruction, nothingness, living vs. living as dead, futility, but most of all it's like I'm striving for something that will never realize and waiting for someone that will never ever return. I mean, my experience. It's like all of these stupid, extra, how to be problems are all wrapped up in where my mind's eye moves inevitably.
Words are such imprecise things.
It's not even longing for me or that soft it's desperately trying to become an extremely specific way and it's like I'm never shifting my mind from the why. I am not so much hungry as I am discontented and impossible due to inability to compromise. Like I said, love is an imprecise word that perverts something that I cannot even describe. The desperation to destroy and to create myself and the impetus are both pointing into eachother, cyclical. There is also something so much more unconscious than that to the bolded for me. I am not a hungry ghost, I am Sisyphus. I am lassie or something. Futile, waiting, directed specifically by these things and incapable of resisting the impulse to reference how to exist, what makes it all meaningless since molding to worth doesn't actually make YOU worth anything. Not to mention the stupidity of it all. The stone rolls back down and I have to push it back up because that is all I gleaned from forced, aborted, bloody separation.I've often felt the bolded myself. Longing for a home I've never been to. A shared flame to make all that's dark and dull worth it. Eyes that can see right into my soul, ears that hear my meanings. Always hungry, especially for food I've not had save in my imagination.