Extrovert males especially pick up artists are way more happier than introvert males

[Obfuscate]

i "have to say", i find this thread to be hillarious as a whole... okay, so if there is one thing that the pua crowd has down, it's the shotgun effect... that is to say, if you keep trying, someone will say yes... i think the pua crowd tends to set their sights pretty low, and most of their bullshit will land you in a situation you that isn't sustainable... i won't bother judging the quality of people that employ and fall for those tactics (their just people), but the willingness to try again is of note... there are so many people out there in this world of our's that prefer someone like you, but your inability to identify them (and your own strengths) is holding you back... who cares how many women your friend has been with? would you rather have to go through dozens (hundreds?) of women or just find one good one? either way, you need to work on yourself first to be viable... what goes wrong when you try to meet women? if we knew how you failed and what your goals were, it might help...

 

[Coriolis]

i "have to say", i find this thread to be hillarious as a whole... okay, so if there is one thing that the pua crowd has down, it's the shotgun effect... that is to say, if you keep trying, someone will say yes... i think the pua crowd tends to set their sights pretty low, and most of their bullshit will land you in a situation you that isn't sustainable... i won't bother judging the quality of people that employ and fall for those tactics (their just people), but the willingness to try again is of note... there are so many people out there in this world of our's that prefer someone like you, but your inability to identify them (and your own strengths) is holding you back... who cares how many women your friend has been with? would you rather have to go through dozens (hundreds?) of women or just find one good one? either way, you need to work on yourself first to be viable... what goes wrong when you try to meet women? if we knew how you failed and what your goals were, it might help...

Exactly. Quality over quantity, I have found. Those very qualities that may make it difficult for us to approach people in purely social situations, especially when dating is our goal, serve as a great filtering function for the many people with whom we will not hit it off. I have never really tried to attract anyone. I have instead gone about my business, living my life, getting involved in the activities that interest me and are important to me, then remaining open to what happens. The people I become closer to, either intimately or as friends, are those who appreciate me for who I am, and not some act I put on to attract them.

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

No Fap. Save your money and energy for more worthwhile pursuits. You only live once, and life is short. There's enough people crowding the planet as it is. Resist the urge to procreate, channel that energy into something else, whether it's writing, music, carpentry, etc. Instead of looking at all of the supposedly happy couples around you with envy, instead look at them with amusement. Look closely at the men's faces. Do you see happiness, or despair? Or a sort of complacent sense of "this is it"

PUA is just another sham, there's nothing "red pill" about it, when you peel away the layers and look at the end goal.

Maaaybe you'll meet someone, and maybe she'll be really great. In which case, go for it. But I wouldn't fool yourself into thinking there's a magical soul mate waiting for you in this miserable world.

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

Retiring Dad Gives Thousand Yard Stare. - Shedding of the Ego

Is this what you're so obsessed with becoming?

 

[The Cat]

It’s like my mother used to say—people have more fun than anybody, except for horses, and they can’t.

 

[Aquarelle]

I'd argue that it's "Unhealthy introversion" versus "Healthy introversion" that is the difference here. Not really a necessity for extroversion.

If you had looked at me a decade back and even less, I was introverted to the point of having very 'stunted' social growth for a very long time. Pretty much a shut-in, no friends, and a lot of social anxiety and depression.

These days, I could pass as an extrovert. I have a lot of friends, I'm well-liked and charismatic... At my job (which is very people-centric) I'm one of the more outgoing and friendly staff when it comes to client interaction. I can make a connection with almost anyone pretty quickly. Anyone in my life would probably tell you I'm an extroverted person. And I do genuinely enjoy the interaction these days. I'm not scared of people anymore. I'm not constantly self-conscious when I'm around people anymore. But I do get burnt out by it. I desperately need my alone time to 'recharge' so to speak, or I get incredibly burnt out. In that regard I still consider myself quite introverted. Some of my closer friends who understand me well call it "hermit mode". They know that sometimes I just need to not answer calls, not answer texts, hide inside my bubble and play videogames. That's how I recharge.

Social interaction takes practice like any other skill. Being a shut-in, as I used to be, gets you no practice and gives you no opportunity for growth and development in that regard. You can be a 'social butterfly' without being an extrovert. You just need balance. I don't think I've magically turned into an extrovert. I'm just a much healthier introvert with much more balance.

Yes, this. When I was young (elementary school, definitely middle school, high school to a certain extent [I'm 37 now]), I was very socially anxious and shy. As I've grown older and also learned about introversion, I've become more comfortable with myself and I know what I need to function in a society that is very much built for extroverts (I think). I still have some social anxiety/shyness around new people in a social context, but I am comfortable talking to/meeting new people in my professional life, and I think people feel that I am friendly. I definitely need my alone time to recharge, and most of my friends know and understand that now, so I'm mostly comfortable turning down invitations honestly if I need alone time, just telling them that.

In terms of dating, online dating helped me a lot. I know it can be a shit show, but for me it was great because I was able to get to know someone before we met in person, so I wasn't under as much pressure to make a good first impression in a situation that would have been very anxiety-inducing for me. I'd already made the good first impression when we met in person, so it was okay that the first meeting was a little awkward.

 

[prplchknz]

I'd argue that it's "Unhealthy introversion" versus "Healthy introversion" that is the difference here. Not really a necessity for extroversion.

If you had looked at me a decade back and even less, I was introverted to the point of having very 'stunted' social growth for a very long time. Pretty much a shut-in, no friends, and a lot of social anxiety and depression.

These days, I could pass as an extrovert. I have a lot of friends, I'm well-liked and charismatic... At my job (which is very people-centric) I'm one of the more outgoing and friendly staff when it comes to client interaction. I can make a connection with almost anyone pretty quickly. Anyone in my life would probably tell you I'm an extroverted person. And I do genuinely enjoy the interaction these days. I'm not scared of people anymore. I'm not constantly self-conscious when I'm around people anymore. But I do get burnt out by it. I desperately need my alone time to 'recharge' so to speak, or I get incredibly burnt out. In that regard I still consider myself quite introverted. Some of my closer friends who understand me well call it "hermit mode". They know that sometimes I just need to not answer calls, not answer texts, hide inside my bubble and play videogames. That's how I recharge.

Social interaction takes practice like any other skill. Being a shut-in, as I used to be, gets you no practice and gives you no opportunity for growth and development in that regard. You can be a 'social butterfly' without being an extrovert. You just need balance. I don't think I've magically turned into an extrovert. I'm just a much healthier introvert with much more balance.

Yup i can relate i now go to cookouts about once a week and i get a lot of social interaction and am more comfortable around people than i used to be. Still an introvert but I'm happier now having a social circle. Usually an extrovert adopts me.

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

My job forces me to be fairly social, and I'm extremely introverted, shy, reserved. I've come out of my shell a lot, it can be learned.

 

[Coriolis]

My job forces me to be fairly social, and I'm extremely introverted, shy, reserved. I've come out of my shell a lot, it can be learned.

Mine doesn't. I would consider myself fortunate, but I did choose my profession, not fall into it by chance. I do fine with professional socializing - networking, making connections, even brokering deals now and then. Recreational socializing, for lack of a better term, is much less palatable as the goals are less clear and usually less worthwhile.

 

[Kanye69]

Extroverts are not necessarily more confident than introverts, nor are they necessarily more socially confident or less shy. All of this comes down to the individual. If you are not confident, that is something personal which you need to work on. Learning to understand your own personal worth, becoming competent in something, and accepting that you are who you are —flaws and all— is the key to confidence, in my opinion. As for shyness, that's something which you can work on and overcome with practice.

To me, it seems like you aren't happy with who you are as a person. You didn't come right out and say it, but you alluded to it. I think you're in part projecting your own unhappiness onto introverts as a whole. Because an introvert is someone whose energy comes from within, you need to work on loving what's within. Only then will you be truly happy and stop comparing yourself to others.

I remeber talking to a friend about typology a while ago and asking one of those questions like "Do you think (insert jcf here) is better for..." She had a great answer: "It's not about the function, it's about the person and how they use it." I believe that similar advice applies here: It's not about whether or not you're an introvert or extrovert which will determine your happiness, but rather how you feel inside and use your extroversion or introversion. If you're not a happy with who you are, of course being an extrovert would be easier than being an introvert. But then the problem is not the introversion, but rather your low self-esteem.

-Kanye69

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

Recreational socializing, for lack of a better term, is much less palatable as the goals are less clear and usually less worthwhile.

Sounds pretty characteristic of what I've read about 5s. I bet you can talk to people for hours about whatever gadget or topic actually interests you.

 

[Coriolis]

Sounds pretty characteristic of what I've read about 5s. I bet you can talk to people for hours about whatever gadget or topic actually interests you.

I can, but do refrain from it unless they are interested themselves. The trick can be to get them to talk about what interests them, in a way that is also interesting to me. When that works, socializing can actually be pleasant.

 

[Totenkindly]

Sounds pretty characteristic of what I've read about 5s. I bet you can talk to people for hours about whatever gadget or topic actually interests you.

That was my initial mode of interaction when I first started socializing -- it came out a lot with niche hobbyist topics as well. Basically "knowledge exchanges".

I've loosened up enough to scan as relaxed, but I still can feel out of sorts and/or bored in purely social-interaction environments (like an office party/get-together), unless I get on a topic of discussion I know something about or we're doing an activity (like a game) together. I just have learned to smile a lot and laugh at the jokes, so that my intention to fit in scans even if my interest and/or skill undermines it somewhat.

 

[Jaguar]

As others have pointed out, the OP is conflating PUAs and Extraverts. That tends to create confusion, because historically the "PUA community" or "Seduction community" is actually centered around Introverts. Specifically, the "PUA community" is a set of on-line forums and real-life seminars geared toward teaching virgin nerd introverts how to get over their social anxiety and start meeting (and seducing) the opposite sex.

Not surprised.

 

[Billionaires]

Extroverts are not necessarily more confident than introverts, nor are they necessarily more socially confident or less shy. All of this comes down to the individual. If you are not confident, that is something personal which you need to work on. Learning to understand your own personal worth, becoming competent in something, and accepting that you are who you are —flaws and all— is the key to confidence, in my opinion. As for shyness, that's something which you can work on and overcome with practice.

To me, it seems like you aren't happy with who you are as a person. You didn't come right out and say it, but you alluded to it. I think you're in part projecting your own unhappiness onto introverts as a whole. Because an introvert is someone whose energy comes from within, you need to work on loving what's within. Only then will you be truly happy and stop comparing yourself to others.

I remeber talking to a friend about typology a while ago and asking one of those questions like "Do you think (insert jcf here) is better for..." She had a great answer: "It's not about the function, it's about the person and how they use it." I believe that similar advice applies here: It's not about whether or not you're an introvert or extrovert which will determine your happiness, but rather how you feel inside and use your extroversion or introversion. If you're not a happy with who you are, of course being an extrovert would be easier than being an introvert. But then the problem is not the introversion, but rather your low self-esteem.

-Kanye69

Introverts are shy as Oxford and Cambridge dictionaries define them as "A shy, reticent person." and "someone who is shy, quiet, and unable to make friends easily".

introvert | Definition of introvert in English by Oxford Dictionaries

introvert Meaning in the Cambridge English Dictionary

 

[rav3n]

Introverts are shy as Oxford and Cambridge dictionaries define them as "A shy, reticent person." and "someone who is shy, quiet, and unable to make friends easily".

introvert | Definition of introvert in English by Oxford Dictionaries

introvert Meaning in the Cambridge English Dictionary

These are vernacular definitions. Scientific definitions are how the different brain types acquire their rewards. With extraversion, there are more dopamine receptors clustered in shorter routes and introversion, more dopamine receptors clustered in longer routes. That's it, in a nutshell.

 

[Lark]

I would suspect that PUA artists are not known for their honesty when responding to questions such as how happy are you?

 

[Kanye69]

Introverts are shy as Oxford and Cambridge dictionaries define them as "A shy, reticent person." and "someone who is shy, quiet, and unable to make friends easily". introvert | Definition of introvert in English by Oxford Dictionaries introvert Meaning in the Cambridge English Dictionary

That's not how we define introversion in typology.
-Kanye69

 

[Obfuscate]

Confessions of an Ex-Pickup Artist - VICE

 

[Coriolis]

These are vernacular definitions. Scientific definitions are how the different brain types acquire their rewards. With extraversion, there are more dopamine receptors clustered in shorter routes and introversion, more dopamine receptors clustered in longer routes. That's it, in a nutshell.

I had read that, in extraverts, the "reward transmission system" is actually much less efficient/effective than in introverts, requiring them to experience a higher level of stimulation to get the same satisfaction. With introverts, a little goes a long way, because it is more readily "absorbed". But perhaps we are just saying the same thing in different ways.