Extrovert males especially pick up artists are way more happier than introvert males

[Billionaires]

I'm an INTJ an introvert and if you Google best personality type a lot of people will say INTJ is best. I don't feel this way, I wish I was extroverted as that would mean I'm socially confident and not shy. I have a friend who is a pick up artist. He picks up any girl he wants and goes for things. He is an extrovert. I wish I could do this but I don't have the skills. OK maybe it's different for female INTJ's compared to male INTJ's. Maybe female INTJ's are better than male INTJ's. And for males it's better to be an extrovert.

Here are some articles that show extroverts are happier than introverts

Are Extroverts Happier Than Introverts? | Psychology Today UK

7 Reasons Extroverts Are Happier Than Introverts

Why Extroverts Are Happier Than Introverts - Technology & science - Science - LiveScience | NBC News

Why Extroverts Are Happier In America | Thrive Global

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

The term 'pick up artist' isn't exactly well received on this forum, just a word of caution.

 

[Jaguar]

Am I socially confident? Yes. Does that make me a PUA? No.

 

[Amberiat]

You can be an introvert and socially confident/not shy and vice versa for extroverts. Being an introvert/extrovert doesn't magically make you smarter/dumber or better/worse socially (as some of the other stereotypes are that extroverts are not as intelligent as introverts).

Also, being a PUA doesn't make you a social badass, in fact PUAs are usually extremely insecure and not very competent socially, using textbook manipulative methods to trick people into dating you or whatever doesn't make you socially competent.

 

[Billionaires]

You can be an introvert and socially confident/not shy and vice versa for extroverts. Being an introvert/extrovert doesn't magically make you smarter/dumber or better/worse socially (as some of the other stereotypes are that extroverts are not as intelligent as introverts).

Also, being a PUA doesn't make you a social badass, in fact PUAs are usually extremely insecure and not very competent socially, using textbook manipulative methods to trick people into dating you or whatever doesn't make you socially competent.

They are successful. Which is what counts.

 

[Amberiat]

They are successful. Which is what counts.

That is true, they are successful at what they do, I can't argue with that, however that success only drowns them deeper into their own insecurities and unhealthiness. The more successful they are the more they succumb to their unhealthy behavior and world view which only makes it harder for them to recover and become truly confident in themselves and capable of achieving their goals without using underhanded methods(that aren't even theirs mind you).

 

[Coriolis]

The term 'pick up artist' isn't exactly well received on this forum, just a word of caution.

The practice of people to whom that term refers is not well received by anyone with a modicum of self-respect. Sadly that leaves plenty of prey for PUAs.

 

[Qlip]

In my my recent relationships, friends and romantic, with the introverted version of myself--yes I'm happier, and I'm a moody SOB. This is primarily because as an extrovert I easily forget how hard everything is, which makes life easier, ironically. Once could say I'm blissfully oblivious in comparison.

 

[rav3n]

That is true, they are successful at what they do, I can't argue with that, however that success only drowns them deeper into their own insecurities and unhealthiness. The more successful they are the more they succumb to their unhealthy behavior and world view which only makes it harder for them to recover and become truly confident in themselves and capable of achieving their goals without using underhanded methods(that aren't even theirs mind you).

The only female that I have cursory knowledge of, who fell for a PUA, was a self-admitted masochist with bipolar and BPD. The only reason why she fell for him is because she had special needs with sex in that she liked to be smacked around without a safety word (she enjoyed the thrill that he might not stop) and he was the only guy who enjoyed smacking her around.

 

[Coriolis]

That is true, they are successful at what they do, I can't argue with that, however that success only drowns them deeper into their own insecurities and unhealthiness. The more successful they are the more they succumb to their unhealthy behavior and world view which only makes it harder for them to recover and become truly confident in themselves and capable of achieving their goals without using underhanded methods(that aren't even theirs mind you).

Anyone can be successful, if you define success the right way.

 

[Totenkindly]

Maybe we should scrub PUA out of this thread and try again, just referring to extroverts and introverts, before it crashes and burns completely?

 

[Patches]

Here are some articles that show extroverts are happier than introverts

I'd argue that it's "Unhealthy introversion" versus "Healthy introversion" that is the difference here. Not really a necessity for extroversion.

If you had looked at me a decade back and even less, I was introverted to the point of having very 'stunted' social growth for a very long time. Pretty much a shut-in, no friends, and a lot of social anxiety and depression.

These days, I could pass as an extrovert. I have a lot of friends, I'm well-liked and charismatic... At my job (which is very people-centric) I'm one of the more outgoing and friendly staff when it comes to client interaction. I can make a connection with almost anyone pretty quickly. Anyone in my life would probably tell you I'm an extroverted person. And I do genuinely enjoy the interaction these days. I'm not scared of people anymore. I'm not constantly self-conscious when I'm around people anymore. But I do get burnt out by it. I desperately need my alone time to 'recharge' so to speak, or I get incredibly burnt out. In that regard I still consider myself quite introverted. Some of my closer friends who understand me well call it "hermit mode". They know that sometimes I just need to not answer calls, not answer texts, hide inside my bubble and play videogames. That's how I recharge.

Social interaction takes practice like any other skill. Being a shut-in, as I used to be, gets you no practice and gives you no opportunity for growth and development in that regard. You can be a 'social butterfly' without being an extrovert. You just need balance. I don't think I've magically turned into an extrovert. I'm just a much healthier introvert with much more balance.

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

The practice of people to whom that term refers is not well received by anyone with a modicum of self-respect. Sadly that leaves plenty of prey for PUAs.

I researched PUA culture out of curiosity some time back, much of it is just a bunch of lonely schlubs trying to self-improve and self-actualize so they can be better equipped to meet women. Hardly insidious or evil, albeit maybe a little pathetic. They've gotten a bad reputation because of a handful of very outspoken folks in certain corners of the internet such as Roosh V and subscribers to r/theredpill.


I'd suggest you do your research before these sort of blanket assumptions.

 

[Coriolis]

I researched PUA culture out of curiosity some time back, much of it is just a bunch of lonely schlubs trying to self-improve and self-actualize so they can be better equipped to meet women. Hardly insidious or evil, albeit maybe a little pathetic. They've gotten a bad reputation because of a handful of very outspoken folks in certain corners of the internet such as Roosh V and subscribers to r/theredpill.


I'd suggest you do your research before these sort of blanket assumptions.

Your statements do not contradict my assessment, which is not an assumption but rather a value judgment based on extensive commentary on the specific techniques used. These approaches don't have to be evil and can grow out of quite understandable motivations, and still be the sort of thing that confident, self-respecting women will recognize and avoid. It might take a long string of such rejections, or "successes" that turn out to be empty, for the subset of PUAs you describe to take a hint and find a more lasting way to address their insecurities.

I'd suggest you consider that multiple perspectives on the same phenomenon need not be mutually exclusive.

 

[Tennessee Jed]

As others have pointed out, the OP is conflating PUAs and Extraverts. That tends to create confusion, because historically the "PUA community" or "Seduction community" is actually centered around Introverts. Specifically, the "PUA community" is a set of on-line forums and real-life seminars geared toward teaching virgin nerd introverts how to get over their social anxiety and start meeting (and seducing) the opposite sex.

What follows is a bit of history on the PUA community, just by way of addressing the last two posts written by [MENTION=19700]asynartetic[/MENTION] and [MENTION=9811]Coriolis[/MENTION]. (And I think they both made good points.)

Neil Strauss, a writer for Rolling Stone and The New York Times, spent a year in the PUA community meeting the top PUA gurus, learning their tricks, and even teaching some PUA seminars to new students himself. The mainstream world was then introduced to the subject when The New York Times published a short article by Neil Strauss about the PUA community in January 2004 entitled "He aims! He shoots! Yes!" The article gives an insider's view of the community, and it mentions briefly some of the controversial aspects of the community like negging and objectification.

Here is a link to Strauss's 2004 PUA article: HE AIMS! HE SHOOTS! YES!! - The New York Times

Subsequently, after another year in the PUA community, Neil Strauss went on to publish a full book on the subject, an autobiography on his experiences, entitled The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists. That book was on The New York Times Bestseller List for two months after its release in September 2005, and to this day it's still pretty much considered the Bible of the PUA community. I actually read it just recently. I don't have any particular need for the knowledge contained in it; it was just one of those books I always meant to read but never had time for. It's a piece of history, a cultural artifact from a decade ago.

Anyway, if anyone is interested in additional reading on the subject, see the Wikipedia articles under "Pickup artist" and "Seduction community."

 

[Wunjo]

Yet another thread which thinks introversion is a sign of social anxiety and extraversion is a sign of confidence.

Overcompensation, anyone? Counterphobia?

Which doesn't of course include all extroverts.

And PUA's... Christ, they disgust me because they make Kierkegaard roll on his peaceful grave.

 

[Dreamer]

Yet another thread which thinks introversion is a sign of social anxiety and extraversion is a sign of confidence.

Overcompensation, anyone? Counterphobia?

Which doesn't of course include all extroverts.

And PUA's... Christ, they disgust me because they make Kierkegaard roll on his peaceful grave.

Yup, I hear ya. I’m waiting for the “introverts are smarter and deeper than extroverts” stereotype to die. But, who are we kidding, some social perceptions just won’t die for whatever reason unfortunately

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

Yup, I hear ya. I’m waiting for the “introverts are smarter and deeper than extroverts” stereotype to die. But, who are we kidding, some social perceptions just won’t die for whatever reason unfortunately

 

[Wunjo]

Yup, I hear ya. I’m waiting for the “introverts are smarter and deeper than extroverts” stereotype to die. But, who are we kidding, some social perceptions just won’t die for whatever reason unfortunately

 

[highlander]

I'm an INTJ an introvert and if you Google best personality type a lot of people will say INTJ is best. I don't feel this way, I wish I was extroverted as that would mean I'm socially confident and not shy. I have a friend who is a pick up artist. He picks up any girl he wants and goes for things. He is an extrovert. I wish I could do this but I don't have the skills. OK maybe it's different for female INTJ's compared to male INTJ's. Maybe female INTJ's are better than male INTJ's. And for males it's better to be an extrovert. Here are some articles that show extroverts are happier than introverts Are Extroverts Happier Than Introverts? | Psychology Today UK 7 Reasons Extroverts Are Happier Than Introverts Why Extroverts Are Happier Than Introverts - Technology & science - Science - LiveScience | NBC News Why Extroverts Are Happier In America | Thrive Global

I remember feeling this way when I was a teenager and in college. It got better as time goes on . I think as @Patches described, the more you have to get out there and talk to people, the more comfortable you get with it . I was really pretty introverted until I got into consulting and leadership roles at work . I'm still a pretty strong introvert but it bothers me less because as an introvert, I I have strengths that others don't . As to attracting women - I think a lot of it is expressed confidence, attractiveness and a sense of humor helps a lot. As an INTJ you can just force yourself to be in more situations where you are interacting with people and develop your social skills and there are always things that can be done to improve appearance such as being fit, well groomed and wearing decent clothes . INTJs are naturally confident already - the key thing I think is developing social skills. I have a theory that much of INTJ career success relates to how well they devevlo their social skills and there are very much skills that can be learned .

I do think extroverts may be more happy . Esps especially . You know I'm not a sunny esfp though and I wouldnt want to be .