[ENFP] Do you find ENFPs charming?

[Alassea]

They're pretty charming and lovable. But do make me tired and sometimes I feel like they don't SEE me or care about me all that much. So good acquaintances but they usually don't make it into my close circle.

I swear, you went from INFJ, to ESFJ to ISFJ.

 

[Agent Washington]

I can never understand why people would think ESTPs are charming tbh.
They're the types that come off as pushy and aggressive (wolf-whistle, say obnoxious things just for the sake of it, brag) and I hardly find that seductive like the stereotypes say.

I've been hit on by a few and it seems I'm immune as well.
I don't get it.

I don't get it either. I've also yet to get a straight answer that's put in a way that I can understand. But ... Well. I mean it's also not people's job to explain it to me, either. So I just try to observe...

 

[Abcdenfp]

Yeah, pretty much. I was thinking to have a charming contest you'd probably need to include ESTPs too (no idea about ESFPs or ESFJs). Have yet to be really be charmed by ESTP (I'm... apparently kinda immune to ESTPs). The funny thing is they also have the ability to say the darndest shit and make it still look socially acceptable from sheer charisma and also sheer no-fucks-given, at least from body language. Incredible. Quirkiness is overrated, honestly. But it could be a good marketing thing for those into it.... *strokeschin* ...IDK it makes me sound like this jaded tired ISTJ but honestly I GUESSSS that's what I am haha. Like ... everyone's unique... It's just ... how. Gotta look at the substance. Anyway I hit my head today so I'm feeling a bit off @_@ I'm gonna rip in peace now

Take it easy, Rest well .

 

[Abcdenfp]

I can never understand why people would think ESTPs are charming tbh. They're the types that come off as pushy and aggressive (wolf-whistle, say obnoxious things just for the sake of it, brag) and I hardly find that seductive like the stereotypes say. I've been hit on by a few and it seems I'm immune as well. I don't get it.

They aren't charming.
confident / arrogant and unapologetic is a better description. Their "charm" lies in the fact that they give the people pleaser a sense of freedom momentarily because they always say and do what they want and so for a minute you kinda go f@&$ it and jump on the train that brazen finger to the world of expectations can be invigorating but as most things it's a double edge sword.

 

[Red Memories]

Well as someone thinking I am an ENFP, I don't know if I'd consider myself charming. Random and a little crazy? Yes...
not quite charming. XD

 

[Coriolis]

Are ENFP's charming? Depends on the ENFP. Obviously. Some are quite charming; others are just quixotic pains in the neck.

...It'd be dorky as hell IRL, that's all I can say...... ...

And entirely one-sided.

 

[Alassea]

others are just quixotic pains in the neck.

Tell me more about the neck pain~

 

[thepink-cloakedninja]

I swear, you went from INFJ, to ESFJ to ISFJ.

Haha you noticed.
I've hopped back and forth between INFJ, INFP, and ESFJ for awhile. I feel silly since ESFJ is a very different type from INFJ and INFP. Ah well. Am trying on ISFJ for a bit, now.

They aren't charming.
confident / arrogant and unapologetic is a better description. Their "charm" lies in the fact that they give the people pleaser a sense of freedom momentarily because they always say and do what they want and so for a minute you kinda go f@&$ it and jump on the train that brazen finger to the world of expectations can be invigorating but as most things it's a double edge sword.

Perhaps some ESTPs are like this, but certainly not all. I feel I must defend ESTPs since I was good friends with one in high school, and he was very kind and stuck around for me when I was going through some hard stuff.

Well as someone thinking I am an ENFP, I don't know if I'd consider myself charming. Random and a little crazy? Yes...
not quite charming. XD

I think you're charming.

 

[iwakar]

Sometimes, but It's a real turn-off when they fish for compliments.

He swings and he knocks it out of the motherfuckin park.

 

[Alassea]

Because ESTPs never fish for compliments when they posted the exact same thing, but ENFPs are when they do.

 

[Larix]

Words I'd use to describe ENFPs I know: inspiring, thought-provoking, enthusiastic, and passionate. Most of them actually seem to have an aversion to charm- seeing it as inherently manipulative. Like "what, you thought I'd just decide I like you right away just because you're 'charming'? You know I have a brain, right?" ENFPs have too many clear-cut opinions and lack of focus to create what I'd consider a charming veneer- which is often a good thing- less social pressure. But, one way I personally find them "charming" is in their earnest curiosity and unbridled sense of wonder and amazement. I used to carelessly describe these traits as "cute," for lack of a better word, but I've learned (the hard way) that to most of them, "cute" is a huge insult. So, charming it is

 

[Coriolis]

Tell me more about the neck pain~

These particular ENFPs are fun in the moment, but are unreliable, and can't plan their way out of a paper bag.

 

[Alassea]

Words I'd use to describe ENFPs I know: inspiring, thought-provoking, enthusiastic, and passionate. Most of them actually seem to have an aversion to charm- seeing it as inherently manipulative. Like "what, you thought I'd just decide I like you right away just because you're 'charming'? You know I have a brain, right?" ENFPs have too many clear-cut opinions and lack of focus to create what I'd consider a charming veneer- which is often a good thing- less social pressure. But, one way I personally find them "charming" is in their earnest curiosity and unbridled sense of wonder and amazement. I used to carelessly describe these traits as "cute," for lack of a better word, but I've learned (the hard way) that to most of them, "cute" is a huge insult. So, charming it is

This is beautiful!

And a lot of it is actually true haha. I used to hate the word 'cute' being placed upon me when I was younger, but I have learned to take it well and in stride as I got older.
Now, it's really cute to be called cute!

And another point you brought up that is interesting is that you are absolutely correct. I used to hate generically 'charming' people and especially men. I was averse to it because like you said, I saw it as manipulative and untrustworthy, but that mindset has long since passed. ^^

 

[FemMecha]

The ENFPs I've known have been artists and their personalities are similar to people like Weird Al Yankovac or Phoebe Bouffay. They have enthusiasm, original thinking, but somehow aren't that invested socially, so it's hard to explain. I don't see them fishing for compliments as one poster somewhere in the thread said. I see them more as having their own internally set ego, and perhaps complimenting others is an almost bizarre way. The one's I've known are very out there and make you feel like you've just gone on a conceptual rollercoaster ride. I do find that charming.

 

[Agent Washington]

And entirely one-sided.

Is that a challenge?

 

[Abcdenfp]

This is beautiful! And a lot of it is actually true haha. I used to hate the word 'cute' being placed upon me when I was younger, but I have learned to take it well and in stride as I got older. Now, it's really cute to be called cute! And another point you brought up that is interesting is that you are absolutely correct. I used to hate generically 'charming' people and especially men. I was averse to it because like you said, I saw it as manipulative and untrustworthy, but that mindset has long since passed. ^^

i thought the exact same thing, actually my first feeling was awwww someone who likes the sparkle and immediate feelings of warmth and happiness. I also had an STRONG dislike for the word cute in my twenties.
I have to say that YES some of us can fish for compliments but it's not why you think and we can grow out of it giving ourselves the affirmations we seeked so desperately from others. When ENFPs are young they use the external world for validation at time it's almost as if we are bats bouncing an echo off a wall to see what is what, as we get older/grow/develop we learn to ask these things internally and trust our own opinion.

 

[Coriolis]

Is that a challenge?

An observation.

 

[Starry]

Sometimes, but It's a real turn-off when they fish for compliments.

What kind of nice things would you say about me if I wasn't fishing for compliments?

 

[Upnextup]

Yesh! ENFPs are fun! :3

 

[Qlip]

What kind of nice things would you say about me if I wasn't fishing for compliments?

Now you're just showing off, that's different. And kinda charming.