- Joined
- May 19, 2017
- Messages
- 5,096
The strange thing is, my mom (infp) and my brother (esfj), don't even use their words to ask for what they are asking for. They always hint at what they want when all I want is for them to communicate in a direct, straightforward manner what they need or want from me. It's incredibly frustrating to have someone hint at what they want, expect you to figure it out, and then when you ask them what they want, they get mad at you for not knowing what they want and expecting them to tell you instead of playing mind games that unnecessarily complicate and frustrate the lines of communication. They both always pull guilt trips on people at the drop of a dime to the point where they can cause significant psychological harm to people, friends, family and never show any sign of remorse during the acts of guilt tripping people because they always view themselves as a victim, even when it's them victimizing others. They just can not, will not, no matter what admit to or take responsibility for doing things that hurt others because they need to view themselves as the most caring, kind and gentle creatures on this earth. They get competitive about being viewed as the nicest to the point where others around them wonder if it's a defense mechanism because they somehow feel they aren't nice enough
You are detailing the behaviors of two specific people. The question is where do the types end and personal tendencies and traits begin? It's obviously a very important question you want answered because they're your family. To be able to pinpoint a set of functions as the cause would certainly make people easier to figure out. People are MBTI types but they are so much more.
I know you and I don't get along but I do sincerely hope you can find a way to discover the information you seek. It seems it's going to be a task that is accomplished by looking at the people. The lives your mom and brother have lived- the events they've experienced- and genetics are going to heavily shape them as people. It's a personal journey you're going to have to take. A set of functions isn't going to answer the question of who they are as individuals.