Dear Fe User,

[Jaguar]

"what will people think?"

I'm allergic to those words.

 

[á´…eparted]

I'm allergic to those words.

You would

 

[Virtual ghost]

what will people think?"

This question can be Fe like but not necessary since this can be heart fix or So instinct, perhaps even Te. You may not genuinely care what people think but if their thoughts and feelings effect your plan then you should care at least from utilitian perspective.

 

[Hetaira]

This question can be Fe like but not necessary since this can be heart fix or So instinct, perhaps even Te. You may not genuinely care what people think but if their thoughts and feelings effect your plan then you should care at least from utilitian perspective.

Utilitarian perspective? FiNe cares about other's feelings and thoughts in the big perspective (mature INFP's), however the need to "fit in" has to be measured by how much the action in question will affect other people.

Ex. With SJ's and NJ's there is a need to "fit in" or be appropriate in social settings; dressing appropriately or one's topic of conversation. As an INFP, I would be happy in jean shorts and T-shirt or inserting an "off colored comment" at times. SJ's and NJ's can take this personally. In order to not be offensive, then of course, I would "watch my language" and try to "dress accordingly." However if those people are not around, I would not care in the least what other's thought about me or the need to "fit in" socially.

Maybe this is more of an FiNeSi? versus Fe Se function?

 

[Virtual ghost]

Utilitarian perspective? FiNe cares about other's feelings and thoughts in the big perspective (mature INFP's), however the need to "fit in" has to be measured by how much the action in question will affect other people.

Ex. With SJ's and NJ's there is a need to "fit in" or be appropriate in social settings; dressing appropriately or one's topic of conversation. As an INFP, I would be happy in jean shorts and T-shirt or inserting an "off colored comment" at times. SJ's and NJ's can take this personally. In order to not be offensive, then of course, I would "watch my language" and try to "dress accordingly." However if those people are not around, I would not care in the least what other's thought about me or the need to "fit in" socially.

Maybe this is more of an FiNeSi? versus Fe Se function?

Yes, utilitarian. Doing something simply because it benefits you, instead of trully trully believing that this is how you want things to be.

In the case I am not like this I would insult quite a few people around me. Therefore it is fully reasonable to keep your mouth under control in some situations. Learning how to pick your fights is one of the most important lessons in life. (not every social calculation is Fe based)

 

[FemMecha]

I've recently been in a scenario that requires "Fe", although not the social convention version of it. I'm back in school taking classes, and for one of the classes 90% of the assignments are group projects. So, I'm in this little group of five people and the normal problem dynamics start to emerge: a few have a tendency to not do work, and a few have a tendency to do the work, but also want to control it. I don't want the entire semester to become more problematic, and even though these people are strangers, I'd rather they have a pleasant experience because I get hints about the difficulties in their own lives. So, this week I made certain to show attention to each person as they shared ideas, I offered more control to a new member that is active and possibly controlling, and I said a couple of thoughtful words for one who was sick, another who has a heavy work-load this week. I told everyone I'm happy to do whatever is needed that others don't want to do, and so offered to contribute but also give up all control. That compensates for the two potential problems being presented in the dynamic.

The pragmatic/utilitarian part of what I did was to be willing to dismiss any part of my contribution that would cause waves, even though I would prefer to have a normal amount of 'voice' in the interaction for myself. The genuine part is that at least one of the more controlling people is dealing with a lot of problems in her life right now that she doesn't have any control over, so she needs her voice heard more than I do. I also tend to think most people's lives are hard, so anytime you show people some kindness, you offer a little help in the world. The most important part of my voice in that specific social scenario is kindness over ideas. I can have my ideas heard elsewhere in less personal, social contexts, and I don't know when that is true for others.

 

[Hetaira]

Yes, utilitarian. Doing something simply because it benefits you, instead of trully trully believing that this is how you want things to be.

In the case I am not like this I would insult quite a few people around me. Therefore it is fully reasonable to keep your mouth under control in some situations. Learning how to pick your fights is one of the most important lessons in life. (not every social calculation is Fe based)

Ah...but we can do this same action in the most calculating way!

However, around my boss or others in authority over me...yes. It is very difficult to keep my mouth shut at times. But very beneficial.

 

[Norrsken]

Dear Fe users,

It's going to be okay. Someday, the Leave It To Beaver era will come back, and we can be ourselves again.
Do not taint your blood with Fi mongrels, for they will use your love for them against you.

Signed,
Aunt Jezie

 

[Galaxy Gazer]

Dear Fe users,

It's going to be okay. Someday, the Leave It To Beaver era will come back, and we can be ourselves again.
Do not taint your blood with Fi mongrels, for they will use your love for them against you.

Signed,
Aunt Jezie

But what is stopping Fe users from being themselves?

 

[Norrsken]

But what is stopping Fe users from being themselves?

We are being ourselves.

 

[peter pettishrooms]

Dear dominant Fe-user,
I can't believe I'm saying this, but you're cute.
Love,
A reluctant Fi-user

 

[Tilt]

Dear dominant Fe-user,
I can't believe I'm saying this, but you're cute.
Love,
A reluctant Fi-user

We like you too!

 

[Lord Lavender]

Dear Fi user

Sometimes you guys can rock when your Fi is used in a positive manner and can help me with my severe lack of awareness of my feelings plus you do push me to stop following group morals. However you can on the other hand be hard to reason with and at times self-righteous and moralistic without a care for group harmony or moods.

From Brain

 

[prplchknz]

Dear Fi user

Sometimes you guys can rock when your Fi is used in a positive manner and can help me with my severe lack of awareness of my feelings plus you do push me to stop following group morals. However you can on the other hand be hard to reason with and at times self-righteous and moralistic without a care for group harmony or moods.

From Brain

dude we're just making sure that you guys don't blow up a town because they choose to eat food in a different manner then you, we're all like its ok them eating food off of shovels does not affect you in anyway. look fe is good to make sure society runs smoothly fi is good to make sure society doesn't destroy or humilate people who don't fit in to society but is not harming society as a whole.

 

[Dreamer]

The only time Fe can really encroach on me is when a user tries to tell me how I'm feeling or when they say "they understand" when, if they haven't experienced the situation before, they really don't (I do appreciate the good intent but ugh!) and when they try to box me into this "moral" code. Boxing me in physically, mentally, emotionally, whatever, is the quickest way to make me want to run for the hills and never look back.

To be fair, there is a bit of ugly Fi out there too.

 

[Coriolis]

Dear Fi user

Sometimes you guys can rock when your Fi is used in a positive manner and can help me with my severe lack of awareness of my feelings plus you do push me to stop following group morals. However you can on the other hand be hard to reason with and at times self-righteous and moralistic without a care for group harmony or moods.

From Brain

Dear Fe user,

This is one case in which it is perfectly OK - encouraged, even - to follow the group practices.

(Another) reluctant Fi user, who at least followed the OP.

 

[Lady Lazarus]

Dear Fe,

Why do you make me say and do such gross things.

Die in a fire.

-ESFJ

 

[Jaguar]

Dear Fi user

Sometimes you guys can rock when your Fi is used in a positive manner and can help me with my severe lack of awareness of my feelings plus you do push me to stop following group morals. However you can on the other hand be hard to reason with and at times self-righteous and moralistic without a care for group harmony or moods.

I've been called a self-righteous prick. But then it came from two bible-thumping, alcoholic, scumbags who were pissed when I refused to commit fraud for them.

 

[Norrsken]

This is for the more immature Fi users.

Dear (immature) Fi users,

The one thing that bothers me the most is how strongly you advocate for a free society and the freedom for people to be themselves and yet sometimes your actions says otherwise. My INFP brother just told my younger sister that she's the smartest out of all of us because she's going to follow his vegan diet and lifestyle, and it's things like that where I can't help but roll my eyes anytime you lot harp about individuality and yet you can't help yourselves but lump people into tight boxes. "If you do good things, you're a good person. If you do bad things, you're a bad person." I'm sorry but I don't agree with you.

That's all. To the mature Fi users out there, this is not for you, so please don't worry about it.


Love,
theforsaken

 

[FemMecha]

Dear Fe user,

This is one case in which it is perfectly OK - encouraged, even - to follow the group practices.

(Another) reluctant Fi user, who at least followed the OP.

I've never been a big fan of this thread or similar ones, but perhaps someone should start the counterpart judging threads? Some people are wanting to criticize Fi, but no one has started a thread. Perhaps that would be helpful? One for Ti or Te?