[NF] ENFx--"cult leader"?

[SearchingforPeace]

It's interesting - I find I have access to that, but it does cost me more energy to not 'flip' back to NeFi, the longer it goes on. I feel like I'm 'on' and cannot just relax, kinda like being on stage. But in times of great unrest, when I find that I do have some pull in a group, I'll use it as a tool to keep the group together, when there just isn't an NFJ around

If I do it too long though, I really *miss* the silly switch that is Ne, though

I find that the key is to focus the conversation and to share the spotlight equally so that every member feels heard and appreciated, to then tie the individual povs together through a common red thread and channel the convo where you want it to go - kind of like handing the mic around in an audience with the speaker up front just facilitating the conversation and occasionally doing a bit of a performance bit or some light-hearted jokes, as a break, while checking meanwhile backstage for potential issues and getting the lighting and music juuuust right to create the flow you're looking for.

However, I'm sure there is more to it than that - I seriously doubt I have the full range of an ENFJ and I do find it a lot harder to do irl than online (except for when specifically using it to flirt ). I also have to just...go for it, otherwise I get that 'deer in headlights' effect where my mind goes 'who the hell do you think you're fooling and who the hell do you think you are stepping into the spotlight like that - aint nobody wanna see that!'

I think it is a general NF talent, rather than just a function thing. It is easier for the ENFs, and easiest perhaps for the ENFJs. When I am a group leadership role, I just flow with it and it works. People get motivated, conflicts decline, problems get solved.

When there is a leadership vacuum, I can usually get the situation fixed and the immediate issue resolved. And then back away....

If there is nothing there at all, I can put it all together and get it going. I organized opposition to a huge property tax increase for our school board after the principal told me the school board didn't need the money and it was largely going to fund a $40 million football stadium.... and the best part, was no one knew I did it..... but we defeated the measure by a thousand votes...

Again, it feels more like a temperament thing than a function thing. NF combo just makes for good people skills. I do wonder if we over emphasize functions on some things......

 

[Starry]

I wish to share that I just spent maybe 5-10 minutes reading through this thinking it was the "Spade feedback" thread... and was beyond confused.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it isn't there. If it wasn't, no one would flock around them.

What I find amusing is I will occasionally meet INTJ's who absolutely hate me, because they see me using charisma and crowd hearding, and therefore must be bad for that reason alone. It's not that terribly common though.

I know, I see in the environment that some kind of a "invisible force" moves people, but to me it is not overly relatable.

Also I don't know about your concrete experiences but I would say that "hate" is clearly too strong word here, however people often ask me openly "Why do you hate me?". I presume that it has something to do with the vibe I give and the fact that I don't show much Fe.

 

[Amargith]

I know, I see in the environment that some kind of a "invisible force" moves people, but to me it is not overly relatable.

Also I don't know about your concrete experiences but I would say that "hate" is clearly too strong word here, however people often ask me openly "Why do you hate me?". I presume that it has something to do with the vibe I give and the fact that I don't show much Fe.

Te technically causes them the same question marks - you guys are just as formidable in manipulating the environment and bulldozing a clear path - it's just focused on mostly inanimate obstacles and situations.

 

[Tilt]

and the best part, was no one knew I did it..... but we defeated the measure by a thousand votes...

Ha. I have noticed that my influence can be very "behind-the-scenes" and calculated too. In person, I come off fairly nonassuming and dense but I don't reveal much unless it's relevant to the big picture. Has it been consistently useful for you [MENTION=25377]SearchingforPeace[/MENTION]?

 

[Tilt]

Te technically causes them the same question marks - you guys are just as formidable in manipulating the environment and bulldozing a clear path - it's just focused on mostly inanimate obstacles and situations.

Hahaha, so true. It's the terseness of the communication. I have a tendency to want to reverse engineer their thought process to figure out how they drew certain conclusions and understand what they ultimately want underneath the abbreviated communication. The Pi in front of the Te makes it hard for me to understand their objectives.

 

[SearchingforPeace]

Ha. I have noticed that my influence can be very "behind-the-scenes" and calculated too. In person, I come off fairly nonassuming and dense but I don't reveal much unless it's relevant to the big picture. Has it been consistently useful for you [MENTION=25377]SearchingforPeace[/MENTION]?

Yes. Behind-the-scenes style is often the best, but out in front can be equally successful..... it depends on the dynamic and circumstances. I have zero need to be in charge. I would rather get the successful result. And I sure don't need praise. So helping others be successful is great.

And if some who oppose me see me as not a threat, all the better....