[ESFJ] Ask an ESFJ

[Virtual ghost]

Ask away friends!

What do ESFJs or at least this particular ESFJ want out of life ?

 

[Haven]

It definitely can be Fe, no doubt about it.

Harmonizing by force, it is possible.

This brings up a question I've had about Fe for a while now. Bear with me 'cause I'm barely (hah) awake.

What are the different ways for Fe to manifest? Maybe in a good, bad, and ugly kind of way? I'm used to seeing the harmonizing descriptions and while I can recall instances of my own behavior matching that, by and large I feel like my Fe is somethign more...adaptive? As in, trying to integrate but no so much with the desire to bring unity to a group and more about feeling things out and trying to get a sense of the kind of people I'm dealing with so I can better react to them, I guess?

Anyway, i'm wondering if these are just different forms of Fe? Or is it the difference between a clear Fe lead and one filtered through two other functions? Or maybe I'm mixing up Fe with Ne or Se a little bit.

ESFJs (and others for whom it applies), is there a pattern to how your Fe manifests? What influences, if any, do you think your supporting functions have on it?

[MENTION=23915]Sinclair[/MENTION] Fe is really hard to pin down, it's as adaptive as the sentiments of people it tries to gauge constantly, it has to be. For me, Si is the governor, any rules or patterns of my behavior would come from that.

 

[Virtual ghost]

[MENTION=23915]Sinclair[/MENTION] Fe is really hard to pin down, it's as adaptive as the sentiments of people it tries to gauge constantly, it has to be.

This really depends on who you are.
I for example have almost no Fe in me and for that reason I have quite easy time noticing it since for me everything is much more black and white when it comes to relations with other people.

 

[prplchknz]

from an ESFJ pov: why are people rarely happy with simply good enough?

 

[Luigi]

Any advice for getting along with people better, being nice, or how to improve social skills? Not sure if there's even a difference between those things. Also, what are some good ideas to start conversations with people you've never met before? This stuff might have been asked before, but there's 27 pages already so I wasn't up for checking every last one of them.

 

[Showbread]

from an ESFJ pov: why are people rarely happy with simply good enough?

I am often unhappy with "good enough" if I know that I can do better. It's like no matter how good what I've accomplished/have is, if I see room for improvement, especially within my control, I won't be content.

 

[prplchknz]

I am often unhappy with "good enough" if I know that I can do better. It's like no matter how good what I've accomplished/have is, if I see room for improvement, especially within my control, I won't be content.

but what if better and your ability to do that is a lie? do you feel worse after?


p.s. sorry to you and [MENTION=4945]EJCC[/MENTION] i've been compared to a member here and i've started making a list on how we are not the same person.

 

[Showbread]

but what if better and your ability to do that is a lie? do you feel worse after?


p.s. sorry to you and [MENTION=4945]EJCC[/MENTION] i've been compared to a member here and i've started making a list on how we are not the same person.

What do you mean by "a lie," exactly? Like unattainable? Or an idealized goal that does not actually exist?

 

[prplchknz]

What do you mean by "a lie," exactly? Like unattainable? Or an idealized goal that does not actually exist?

yes. to both unattaibale and does not actually exist. which is the same thing. pretty much.

 

[Showbread]

yes. to both unattaibale and does not actually exist. which is the same thing. pretty much.

Um, I suppose I would be pretty frustrated. I think I do this to myself at times though. I have ideals in my head for what I want my behavior or performance to look like that are practically impossible, but for some reason I decide to set the standard that high anyways.

 

[Smilephantomhive]

Do you have a tendency towards black an white thinking?

 

[Cygnus]

Why are you so less annoying than ENFJs?

 

[Haven]

Why are you so less annoying than ENFJs?

Man, those overachievers can get on my nerves and when I point it out they have this even more annoying way of dodging it and turning it around!

 

[Showbread]

Do you have a tendency towards black an white thinking?

Yes. At least, I used to. But I also used to type ESTJ. Around the time my thinking started to soften is when I started getting ESFJ. To an extent, I really credit my Psych degree with this. Nothing about people is black and white, and the world is made out of people. I love things that are black and white for their simplicity. But I think eventually they would bore me.

Why are you so less annoying than ENFJs?

I have no idea. I don't generally think ENFJs are annoying. In fact, my favorite roommates have all been ENFJs. They can be really intense, but so can I. Maybe it's the fact that they usually get really intense about things that I'm also passionate about, so it doesn't bother me as much?

 

[prplchknz]

if any ESFJs are still around I have a question

why do you guys sound so judgemental when asking a question even when you're not being judgemental, I mean particularly a personal question. I'll refuse to answer if i feel i'm being judged of course when they ask why i won't answer i'll say because they're being judgemental and they'll be like i'm not. I swear for whatever reason when it comes to personal stuff your natural tone is judgemental, whether you mean it to be or not. Why is this?