The Ego Shattering Power of Sexuality

[heart]

Maybe not though. If you understand what is going on from the right (objective) perspective, you may feel at greater ease, seeing that the feelings of your ego are more of an obsolete reaction.

Hmm..

The introspection itself can be enough to detach.. You don't even have to try.. The introspection/new perspective does it for you.

Most people have to work at it to be able to truly detach from the ego. The ego changes about, tells lies to self. It usually takes time and learning. There's a lot of pitfalls and self-delusion that can occur. i.e. "I am so holy, I have detached from my ego and I feel pity for the poor people who cannot be as ego detached as I am."

The ego can turn around on the desire to detach from it by suggesting to us that we've done enough and then we may even be obsessed with an exaggerated sense of self-importance over having detached from the very ego bent on glorifying us.

 

[substitute]

I dunno, I reckon it's all stuff that's pretty easy for an Fi primary to say... doesn't make it any less awesome though. Just kinda making it all sound so obvious when it totally isn't. Not to everyone.

 

[Thursday]

I dunno, I reckon it's all stuff that's pretty easy for an Fi primary to say... doesn't make it any less awesome though. Just kinda making it all sound so obvious when it totally isn't. Not to everyone.

but its valid
sooooo..... what is your point ?

 

[heart]

I think Fi primaries are as prone as anyone else to self-delusion or ego posession, maybe moreso when Te has not developed.

 

[substitute]

Didn't say it wasn't valid. But it seemed that others were saying 'it' made the OP invalid.

My point: something that works for an Fi primary isn't necessarily the best thing to advise someone who has it as a much weaker function cos it's not a sustainable thing to do or requires gargantuan amounts of effort. Like telling a strong introvert that if they wanna feel better around people they should just go to loads of parties RIGHT NOW. So it needs to be approached from another angle. Maybe.

I dunno. You expect me to have a point after I just told how out of touch I am with my own feelings? Haha... Helloooooo Fi inferior! lol

 

[Thursday]

Didn't say it wasn't valid. But it seemed that others were saying 'it' made the OP invalid.

My point: something that works for an Fi primary isn't necessarily the best thing to advise someone who has it as a much weaker function cos it's not a sustainable thing to do or requires gargantuan amounts of effort. Like telling a strong introvert that if they wanna feel better around people they should just go to loads of parties RIGHT NOW. So it needs to be approached from another angle. Maybe.

I dunno. You expect me to have a point after I just told how out of touch I am with my own feelings? Haha... Helloooooo Fi inferior! lol

that all sounds like something coming from a healthy ego
even if you are not " in touch " with your emotions

 

[heart]

Victor is an Fi tertiary, not inferior. He is Se inferior though so maybe sex does something to connect him with his inferior in a way it doesn't some other types.

 

[substitute]

Victor is an Fi tertiary, not inferior. He is Se inferior though so maybe sex does something to connect him with his inferior in a way it doesn't some other types.

I think tertiary would qualify as 'much weaker' than primary

 

[disregard]

Most people have to work at it to be able to truly detach from the ego. The ego changes about, tells lies to self. It usually takes time and learning. There's a lot of pitfalls and self-delusion that can occur. i.e. "I am so holy, I have detached from my ego and I feel pity for the poor people who cannot be as ego detached as I am."

The ego can turn around on the desire to detach from it by suggesting to us that we've done enough and then we may even be obsessed with an exaggerated sense of self-importance over having detached from the very ego bent on glorifying us.

Oh, I am well aware (personally and intellectually) that this detachment it is extremely hard to accomplish. That is why Taoism & Buddhism exist. It is a lifetime struggle. What I was addressing was that it is not a denial of these emotions which one should seek, but rather an awareness, an observation of them, so that you have greater perspective.. and this perspective will aid your growth in the direction of genuine detachment.. The more experience you have with going through the motions of being subjected to the will of your ego, the more inclined you will be in the future to acknowledge and move forward before your ego even has a chance to get involved! Now, of course there are scenarios in which it is impossible and unadvisable to deny yourself feeling and emotional involvement... but I am really addressing the more miniscule, daily situations in which one need not be bothered by involvement.

This is a very abstract concept to me, and it's a bit hard to put into words..

 

[heart]

I think tertiary would qualify as 'much weaker' than primary

Yeah but some of those INTJ can be real softies inside.

 

[heart]

Oh, I am well aware (personally and intellectually) that this detachment it is extremely hard to accomplish. That is why Taoism & Buddhism exist. It is a lifetime struggle. What I was addressing was that it is not a denial of these emotions which one should seek, but rather an awareness, an observation of them, so that you have greater perspective.. and this perspective will aid your growth in the direction of genuine detachment..

The more experience you have with going through the motions of being subjected to the will of your ego, the more inclined you will be in the future to acknowledge and move forward before your ego even has a chance to get involved! Now, of course there are scenarios in which it is impossible and unadvisable to deny yourself feeling and emotional involvement... but I am really addressing the more miniscule, daily situations in which one need not be bothered by involvement.

This is a very abstract concept to me, and it's a bit hard to put into words..

What I am saying is that it takes a form of self control to be able and willing to see through the delusions that the ego presents to the self. The ego wants to protect itself and its power at all costs. It can take a hold of a self improvement program and easily manipulate it around to serve the protection and promotion needs of the ego. So it takes work to be able to consciously detach from these self protection mechanisms. The ego is constantly working to perfect its protection mechanisms, as the self learns and becomes more sophistocated so does the ego. Often people deepest into New Age type programs have the most overweaning egos and are full of how holy and pure they are.

 

[disregard]

Indeed...

Which presents the enjoyable opportunity for daily training to defeat this eternal nemesis (which, as you stated, is impossible, and so there is always a ripe challenge). Never a dull moment.

 

[cafe]

My super-ego was overdeveloped like a straight jacket because of the strict religious training I received. (I feel that Jennifer and I have that in common.)

But my husband's delight and confidence in me freed me and made me feel like I was something good even though I'm not something flawless. He seems to barely think of my flaws as flaws at all.

So I think sexuality has soothed and nurtured my ego.

 

[Totenkindly]

From what I understand the ego is the voice that says "You can do it!" when courage faluters and it is also the part of us that wants to protect ourselves, our own individual being at any cost. By its own definition it is the one, the I, selfish. I am not sure how one would expand that in any heathy way.

In the vernacular, when I first heard the word "ego" used, it was always in reference to the negative: "Oh, S/HE has a BIG ego" or "what a ego trip," etc.

When I finally ran across Freud, I realized the ego did not have to be negative. Freud's general concept was that the self, the ego, was the mediator between the compulsive greediness of the ID and the harsh discipline of the Superego. If you didn't have a mature ego, you were at the mercy of either one or the other of those forces.

[For myself, my "ego" or sense of self was crushed from an early age and my superego was in charge... which left me in bad shape for years and years. I had no strong mature confident "sense of self." I actually had to strengthen my ego boundaries in order to mature.]

So I think we have different definitions, and yours sounds like it is more aligned inherently with the negative. I don't define the ego in the negative, the ego to me is one's "sense of self" and is a neutral concept.

But what I am saying is that we do need the ego voice as cheerleader but the problem comes when people make the ego their team captain, instead of the true core so-called higher self being the leader.

If you define the ego as someone's self-confidence or self-importance rather than merely their sense of self, then of course you would have to rein it in. I don't find that definition useful, except perhaps under a black-and-white moral code where that usage seems to be predominate and the ego itself is viewed as "bad."

Sorry, I am probably misunderstanding your point. I'm pooped today and a little fuzzy...

My super-ego was overdeveloped like a straight jacket because of the strict religious training I received. (I feel that Jennifer and I have that in common.)

Yeah. Sigh. Life was guilt, and every action had to be scrutinzed. Spontaneity was beaten out.

But my husband's delight and confidence in me freed me and made me feel like I was something good even though I'm not something flawless. He seems to barely think of my flaws as flaws at all.

That's what I like to call... "love."