Hi there, Z Buck McFate!!
What do you think about the suggestions listed for your type?
My replies are below...
Are there any suggestions you'd add?
FYI - I'm only replying to 7 and 8, since I'm a 7w8 - and what not, and what have you, and so on and so forth.
Yep, I'll drop it all line by line.
Deal?
Here we go...BTW I numbered them for my own convenience.
(7a) -Support me when I slow down and stick with my commitments.
This is great advice for 7s, and very sweet if truly offered as constructive support by a dear friend.
However, in a lot cases, by the time we figure out the concept of "slowing down" - let alone that we need to do it for our own good, and that at times delivering on our commitments way later than ever anticipated still technically counts as keeping our word but without any chance of a gold medal - we are self-aware and self-supporting.
This does not mean that such help is unappreciated, that is least from the truth.
What it does mean is that IMHO, effort expended on trying to help as described above might very well be better spent (for your sake and ours) on trying to bring the concepts of "slowing down" and being more "mindful/in the present" to our consciousness so that we can make the biggest leap on our own, and a lot quicker...
(7b) -Let me know what and how important your own needs and wants are.
Oh PLEASE for the love of God I wish EVERYONE would do this!! Aaarrrrgghhh!!!
The reality is this.
I have 17 objectives and 3-5 vehicles of achieving each at any given time.
If no one lets me know what their needs are, and how important they are to them, it might be hard for me to figure out on my own.
Guaranteed, without external feedback or impetus of some kind I could easily keep myself busy, productive, and happy as hell for the rest of my life and yours too.
HOWEVER - that means shite to me if those near and dear to me are not fulfilled as they need to be in order to be happy, healthy and well in their lives.
If you are one of my own, I will move mountains for you, without hesitation, and without any expectation of return.
BUT - if you never inform me of your needs, then your greatest advocate will sit idle on the sidelines of your life.
(7c) -Encourage me to deal with pain, fear, and restlessness rather than escaping from these feelings.
Good luck!!
Eventually, as I mature and self-actualize, I will integrate what activities I need to into my life, whether habits that benefit my own personal upkeep, or outwardly directed service towards others - in order to neutralize the pain, fear, and restlessness that plagued me when I was younger because each moment of every day I realized that I had not accomplished everything I wanted to.
My escape from these feelings was only ever temporary, and then there was a day when I stood up and accepted responsibility for my own life and my actions, and was then able to slay the dragons of the fear of me living an unfulfilled life.
So, please don't coddle me through the symptoms - instead help me identify my cause, my calling in life, and when that happens, when I find what truly matters to me, then I will slay any and all fears that ever stood in the way of me reaching my fullest potential and fulfillment.
(7d) -Help me keep things simple and in the present.
Honestly I do this very well, but if you are present in the few and far between days of my life that are not simple or focused on the eternal here and now - I will forever be grateful to you.
OK, so 8 is only my wing - but I will reply to it as I did 7...
Pack a lunch and bring a friend!
Honestly, the best way to do this is fucking be direct, be serious, but don't be a dick or a fucktard.
If you have something to say, say it, and I will listen.
But say it directly, and don't pussyfoot around, for I have little patience by default and will be unable to listen if my energy to plow forward eclipses your ability to tell me where I have erred.
Do this, do it at all times, but be fair, and be sincere - and I will thank you and respect you for it more than you will ever know.
This is Captain Obvious, IMHO. Just sayin'!
(8d) -Speak your own truth.
Yes, PLEASE do this. My own voice, inside my own head, is a force to be reckoned with. For me to listen requires others to speak from a well informed and genuine perspective if they are approaching me as a peer, or equal. Don't try to mow over me with some half-assed bullshit that works well to pacify people who have limited assertiveness. I am the living embodiment of assertiveness, don't try to bullshit me.
But if you come to me and speak your own truth from your heart - I will listen, and will be as open to your thoughts as if they were my own. No shit.
(8e) -Provide feedback about my impact on you.
Arrrghhh!!! PLEASE DO THIS!!!
I am a well intended, hard working creature - but I am unfortunately oblivious as to the impact of own ways on those near and dear to me, at times even if I am working to achieve something that I believe they want, and need. This is VERY frustrating to me, for equal to my desire to never be controlled by anyone - I sincerely never wish to control others. If they are fuck-ups and they are int he way of the greater good and all that I am working for, then shit happens - Ooops.
But there is no way I ever wish my ways and means to be a hindrance, or heaven forbid hurtful towards my loved ones, my friends, and peers.
(8e) -Support me when I reveal softer feelings and vulnerabilities.
This is immensely important. More often than not, I have a reputation to live up to, or maybe more simply expectations to fulfill because of my track record for making the impossible happen, with jack shit to work with, and in less time than is sane to expect for a perfect result to happen. Why do I do this? It's not because I give a shit about what anyone thinks - of that I assure you. On most cases it's because doing so for whatever reason is part of the path of least resistance that must be traversed for my objectives to be reached. BUT - do I have to be a hard ass in the course of making things happen? No, I do not. Am I incapable of reconsidering my planned course of action if a better way has been identified - whether by me or someone else? Not at all; I applaud doing things the best way they can be done with what is at hand to achieve them. HOWEVER, for some reason it seems that people let shit get a bit more out of whack when I'm around because they know it will not last. And if I had a dollar for all the times I've been lauded for being able to drop the hammer when needed, I'd be comfortably wealthy. But that is neither here nor there in my opinion, because I can count on one hand the number of times I have been praised, rewarded, or simply recognized (whether in private or in public) for finding a way to walk softly instead of using the huge stick I carry at all times - and those times were priceless to me, however it does not appear that they are appreciated in practice near so much as they are in the lip service that is so widespread in modern times.
Thanks for posting this; it's interesting stuff to reflect on.
I hope you're having a great evening!
-Halla74
They are the greatest thing. I can't even describe how much I love them. Anything that eases my internal critic, really. Anything that reminds me that other people are easier on me than I am on myself.
Communicating the needs of others is not my responsibility.
Once the issue is resolved, it's resolved.
