I have an ESFJ flatemate/landord and I like her a lot. But our socialization can sometimes end in a bust, as I desire to make things more abstract (to me, interesting) while she prefers to keep things more grounded. The issue is that perhaps I DO find her conversation interesting, because it stimulates me enough to lead me to want to express connections and observations I find interesting that she...perhaps doesn't. Part of me (one must assume a rather arrogant self-centered part) refuses to believe that a woman as intelligent as she is has little motivation to pursue exploration of the abstract. I wish she could join me on them, but I also wish I could join her on the topics she likes to discuss. She is ever so good for humoring me, however.
So I guess my question is.
Am INTP. Have ESFJ flatmate. What do?
This makes me laugh, because I can totally relate. Three of my closest friends are INTP, INTJ, and INFP. For the most part, I enjoy discussing abstract theoretical things with them. But, I seem to have a threshold of how long I can handle these discussions. Usually with INFP and INTP I can go for a really long time. I find myself getting frustrated and withdrawing from the conversation when it becomes so theoretical and detached from reality that I really just can't justify wasting the brain on examining it any further.
For example: We were at dinner discussing the type of person we wanted to marry. INTJ friend insists she wants to marry someone just like herself. She then goes on to stipulate that it should be legal to actually marry yourself. We laugh, continue to discuss what that would be like, etc. But then, she takes it further and insists that people with multiple personality disorder should be allowed to have their different personalities marry eachother. And that the ONLY reason that would be a problem, is if they finally went to therapy because they wouldn't be abel to determine which personality was the actual real one.
That's were I decided I was done. But she could have EASILY continued for another solid ten minutes.
So, for the actual advice part... If you want to discuss abstract concepts, maybe try to make an effort to make them somehow applicable to reality? Or just don't get too crazy with it.
Hi there!
Do you know any friends/family members of yours who have one cognitive function different than your own type?
If so, have you compared the similarities/differences between you both?
And if so again, did they make sense in terms of personality theory, or just make sense in terms of uniqueness between people?
Yes! My dad is an ESTJ, and we get a long for the most part. But, we disagree on almost everything. I generally attribute this to his total lack of Fe. The idea of the "greater good" is completely foreign to him. He approaches pretty much everything from a pretty individualistic perspective. Which, is pretty foreign to me.
One of my good friends in high school, who I am still in touch with, is an ESFP. We get a long really well when we are one-on-one, or in the presence of other females. But, throw men into the mix and she can drive me nuts. She has a constant need for attention, particularly male attention, that drives me crazy! She's also bit flakey, which is a pet peeve of mine.
One of my roommates is an ENFJ, and we get along swimmingly for the most part. She can be a bit moody and self-centered from time to time. But, so can I. She also nags a lot. But again, I have a tendency to do the same. We have pretty similar personalities for the most part though. I would say the biggest difference between us I would attribute to enneagram actually. I'm a 2w1, and she is a 3w2. Even though her 2 wing is pretty strong, she is definitely way more structure and achievement driven than I am. Her biggest commitments are the ones related to her personal success, and mine are to nurturing relationships with the people important to me. But again, that more enneagram than MBTI.
I should also mention that I do often mistype as an ENFJ... I take the Humanmetrics MBTI test every so often and about half the time I test ENFJ. So, my perspective might be a bit biased. But, I just like xNFJs a lot in general. If I could pick any type to marry it would be an xNFJ. 
