I think it tends to come off as idealization. I defintely see what people can "become." Only in recent years have I learned that it isn't possible and I do make people my personal projects.
That is actually pretty admirable.
***Also, on a side note, congratulations on the gym! I hope it is very successful.
Its said that conflictor personalities view the other person's id while the person themself usually only views their ego. Almost like my self identity is a shield that I hold for everyone to see, and other personalities are standing behind me seeing the part of myself that I do not. I find ENFP's seem to think I'm cute and adorable and harmless, up until I prove them otherwise. From my end it looks like a form of idealization.
I think it
is a form of idealization, but I suppose it's actually impossible to really know how someone online perceives us, because you know...it's online and people act funky online.
I suppose that everyone has an identity shield of one form or another. Actually, this explains a lot about people in general. We are projecting the person we want to be seen as, like the Wizard of Oz, but then some joker always goes behind the curtain and points out everything about ourselves that we don't want to be true! Still, call me a sap or whatever, but I say to you, to anybody actually, keep on seeing yourself as the person you want to be. Ultimately, it's what we believe about ourselves that matters, not what someone else thinks.
So in my eyes I'm this Winged angel who comes down and saves the downtrodden
My ESTP friend sees himself the same way.
Oh, my...does that mean he thinks I'm downtrodden?! Haha. He says he doesn't. He says he just wants to repay the "kindness" he has seen me show to others, but there are times, most times, when I just can't
let him do it.
and someone who is compatible with me would view me in a similar way
They would probably see your intentions as benevolent.
but in the eyes of an FiNe I am this wretched zombie with skin hanging off of my bones bent on tearing people apart
....um, I'm not going to go there right now, because I don't want to be eaten alive
LOL. [and I don't mean by you...unless, let me see your teeth. Are you a cannibal?] Still, I get what you're saying.
I see surface qualities and try to figure out the internal qualities. I see a girl who sporadically starts shouting at me out of nowhere, she sees herself as this horrible monster. I just see someone who is kind and gentle but has some wierd issue I can't seem to understand, and thus, ignore her when she does this. lol. Almost like a form of denial from my end. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or bad thing. It seems like its a bad thing.
I would probably do the same thing. There have been a few times when I saw someone as a jerk. There was the parent who called me and gave me a cussing the day his daughter got on the wrong bus [I didn't put her on the wrong bus, she just got on it]. He called me names and got furious when I told him that I wasn't going to let him intimidate me and that if he had issues, go to the school board. He did and they laughed at him. At first, I did see him as a bully and a jerk. A few days later, he came to my classroom [right after that shooting at Sandy Hook] and apologized to me. I wasn't mad at him. I just felt kind of bad for him and I realized that he was probably a good guy, deep down. He just had a bad day.
