- Jul 4, 2022
- Instinctual Variant
Oh, and there is NO WAY Abby is an ESFP.
Thinking some more on it, Fluttershy might be an ENFP. She is gentle and non-agressive and gets along well with animals.Wtf. I don't use Se! Do you even know what cognitive functions are?!
Oh, well, I came here to see if the people who used to help on these threads on the last few years were here... and besides former Legion they aren't here, including me.No I'm not... I'm an INFP and I'm either a 6 or a 9.
Thank you for the offer, but I think I need to take a break from this. Learning about enneagram has forced me to actually acknowledge some issues that I've been trying to pretend don't matter anymore for the past 3½ years, and it's causing me a ton of stress and I'm suddenly having issues that I haven't had in years. I've been told that I'm really hard to type because of the amount of trauma I've been through. I'll try to figure out my type after I've gotten some therapy. But if I still can't figure out my type after that, I may take you up on your offer.If you'd like me to try to type you, do this questionnaire: https://www.typologycentral.com/threads/new-questionnaire-to-fill-out.98380/
Best wishes that you'll reach a healthier, happier place with therapy. Seeking that help is something to be proud of.Thank you for the offer, but I think I need to take a break from this. Learning about enneagram has forced me to actually acknowledge some issues that I've been trying to pretend don't matter anymore for the past 3½ years, and it's causing me a ton of stress and I'm suddenly having issues that I haven't had in years. I've been told that I'm really hard to type because of the amount of trauma I've been through. I'll try to figure out my type after I've gotten some therapy. But if I still can't figure out my type after that, I may take you up on your offer.
I don't think that getting therapy will necessarily make this any easier after all (still getting therapy, of course) and I REALLY want to know my enneagram, so I'm gonna go ahead and fill out that questionnaire after all.Best wishes that you'll reach a healthier, happier place with therapy. Seeking that help is something to be proud of.
From this, I think 6 and 9 are strong contenders for your type. I don't see 4 at all. You seem to be very focused on so, so I think you're likely so/sx, though so/sp could be possible. I think you're most likely 6(maybe w7? I'm not sure on the wing), followed by 9w1. And I think probably 2 for your heart. The 6so description here (https://www.typologycentral.com/threads/hudsons-27-type-profiles.109541/) seems more accurate than the 9so. That being said, I think things like anxiety and abuse can make it harder for us and others to type us accurately. So it's possible my suggestions are wrong. I do think you are obviously making steps in a healthy direction, so try to be proud of the things you are accomplishing!I don't think that getting therapy will necessarily make this any easier after all (still getting therapy, of course) and I REALLY want to know my enneagram, so I'm gonna go ahead and fill out that questionnaire after all.
a) What is your age range and general location (Country so that cultural values can be taken into account)? Do you have any impairments that may affect the way that you answer this questionnaire? Any religious or political beliefs (or anything else along those lines) that also might have an effect?
I'm 25 and I live in the midwestern United States (though I lived in the southwest from age 15 to age 21). I do not have any official diagnoses. However, it's probably important for you to know that I was abused for most of my childhood. It was primarily emotional abuse, but there was also physical abuse in first and second grade. (If you would like to know the details, I posted about it here when I was 20.) And I was sexually assaulted four years ago. I've always had a lot more difficulty with social interaction than most people. Like, to the point that I suspect I may actually have some sort of condition, but I don't have any official diagnosis. It isn't that I DON'T socialize. I do really like people and I've usually had friends. The problem is just that I used to have rather poor social skills and they're probably still not great and sometimes I don't know what's appropriate and I accidentally offend people and destroy friendships. I'm pretty sure there's SOMETHING wrong with me, but I don't really know what it is. My therapist says that what's wrong with me is just that nobody ever took care of me and I need to reparent myself. My religious beliefs have changed many times over the years... I was raised Christian (Lutheran Church Missouri Synod), rejected Christianity in favor of Wicca when I was 14, was a Christian again for a while when I was 20 before rejecting it again, was interested in Islam for a few months when I was 22, and then decided I want to convert to Judaism. I plan to eventually convert to Modern Orthodox Judaism (I actually started the process, but then I realized I really need to work out my issues first, so it's on hold), but for now, it's most accurate to call myself a Noahide, which is a non-Jew who believes that Judaism is the truth and follows the seven Noahide Laws (don't blaspheme, don't commit idolatry, don't murder, don't steal, don't do immoral sexual acts, don't eat flesh that was removed from an animal without killing it first, and do establish a justice system). I consider myself a libertarian (but I don't like where the Libertarian Party is going). Idk if my religious and political beliefs really influence anything, but I figured I should probably mention them anyway just in case.
b) Which types are you currently considering? Why are you considering them and why haven't you decided on one?
Well, people have suggested 6, 9, and 4, which are also the types I mostly get on tests. People think I might be a 6 because of the obvious doubtful tone, how much anxiety I seem to have, all the guilt I experience because of things I've done that have hurt people, the way I keep arguing with people about why I can't possibly be whatever type they're suggesting, and because I seem like an attachment type, but I'm not sure about 6 because I'm actually kinda lazy and I don't anticipate and prepare for things going wrong. 9 has been suggested because I WANT to help people but don't, I subconsciously imitate fictional characters and personality type descriptions and stuff, and apparently my insistence that I don't have severe issues even though I was abused for the first 15 years of my life and I was sexually assaulted four years ago and I attempted suicide eight times between the ages of 13 and 15 and twice when I was 20 is 9ish??? But I'm too emotionally reactive to be a 9 (including directly expressing my anger at least every few weeks, usually when my coworker is doing her job wrong or when my sister is refusing to do household stuff), and I like talking about myself (though I often feel bad about doing it now because I think maybe talking about myself too much might be why people don't usually want to stay friends with me), I panic when things go wrong, I used to burden people with my problems all the time, and I heard that depression for 9s is deep, dark apathy but that's not what depression was for me. (Not usually, anyway. Sometimes there would be, like, a day or two when I couldn't feel anything at all, but it wasn't often and it didn't last long.) And some people think I might be a 4 because I sometimes appear to be overly attached to my suffering (they got this impression because of stuff I said when I was upset; I actually feel fine most of the time), I have a history of talking about my problems all the time, I feel like there's something wrong with me, and I'm both emotionally reactive and lazy. But I don't think I'm a 4 because I actually do want to be happy, I don't experience envy, I don't want to hyperindividuate, I absolutely LOVED working at Walmart at first (before I found out about all the sanitation issues) because I love helping customers, I want to convert to Judaism even though there are rules that will control almost every aspect of my life and now I can never be a singer (unless I want to sing religious music for all-female audiences) because the mainstream opinion is that men aren't allowed to hear women sing, I don't think I have a "fantasy self," I don't attempt to cultivate only certain feelings while rejecting others, and a whole bunch of other reasons. So I really have no idea what my type is.
2) What do you deem as your purpose in life?
I don't know... I'm not sure I have one. I mean, there's this one guy who might be dead if I hadn't been there because he told me he was suicidal and I alerted all the other people from this...club that we used to be in and they all reached out to him and showed him that he matters and there are still people who care about him and this really turned him around and stuff, but that's just one event. Maybe he would've been okay anyway. Other than that, it doesn't seem like I've ever done anything that mattered at all. I'd like to be able to do something to help others, but I don't feel like I can really do much because I'm not very good with people and I lack motivation. I never actually go out and do anything to help people. I just sit at home being useless (though I would certainly help people if they asked me to; they just don't ever ask). In the early days of working in the bakery and deli at Walmart, before I found out about all the sanitation issues, I absolutely loved my job and helping customers and making them happy was amazing and I thought I'd found what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, but then it became clear how bad management is and the job became more and more stressful because of management's failure to address issues that were putting customers in danger and I ended up getting into conflicts with my coworkers (even though I got along with everyone really well at first), so I guess that can't be what I'm meant to do after all. If I'm truly meant to convert to Judaism, then I guess my purpose in life might tie into that somehow, but now I'm not sure if I really should convert to Judaism or if it's just another one of my passing obsessions. I really don't know...
3) Of the seven deadly sins, which one(s) do you relate to the most and the least and why?
Most: Sloth. It's usually very hard for me to motivate myself to do things.There is A TON of stuff that I know I really need to do and my life will be better if I do this stuff, but I guess I just can't seem to actually make myself do things.
Least: Pride. I have low self-esteem.
4) Analyzing your relationships with others, briefly describe:
a) The type of people you are drawn to
I'm not really sure... I only have three friends. One approached me first, one is the wife of someone who I was seated next to at a special lunch at my synagogue, and one was one of the very few people at Job Corps who liked me despite all the mean rumors that were being spread about me. It was more that they were drawn to me than that I was drawn to them. I know when I was younger, I was drawn to people who had issues similar to mine, and I suppose one of my friends DOES have a history of issues similar to mine (as far as I know, she never had severe emotional issues like I used to, but she was abused as a child). Yeah, I guess I'm most drawn to people who have also experienced trauma. But it certainly isn't a requirement. I suppose most people who I've been friends with have also been at least little unusual in some way, but it's not always immediately obvious, and I suppose most people are unusual in some way even if it isn't immediately obvious, so I guess that doesn't mean anything.
b) The type of people who are drawn to you
I don't know. I have no idea what all my friends have in common other than being nice and a little unusual.
c) The type of people you are repulsed by
Conspiracy theorists and people who are intentionally and/or consistently cruel to others.
5)What are the traits in others that you admire but you cannot emulate yourself? Elaborate.
Most people seem to be much better with people than I am. I'd really like to be able to make more friends and actually do something to help others, but I feel like I'm not very good with people and I'm afraid that I'll do something wrong and they'll hate me, which holds me back from making friends.
6) Describe your relationship with the following:
I'm annoyed at my coworker a lot because she's a bad person (she's a crazy conspiracy theorist and she thinks that we should be helping Russia instead of Ukraine) and she's always having really loud and annoying phone conversations, but I mostly try to ignore my annoyance and drown her out by blasting my music. But when she's doing her job wrong and I have to tell her and she won't listen, I end up raising my voice at her and possibly taking work from her hands without permission to do it myself... This used to happen much more frequently (back when she was worse at her job and I hadn't started drowning her out with music yet), but now it happens maybe every few weeks or so? I'm also kinda frustrated with a bunch of things about my living situation, and sometimes I yell at my sister when she doesn't want to cook or do the dishes or clean the bathroom when she lives here rent-free and she doesn't work or go to school... My sister and my coworker think that I'm aggressive. My sister also says that I'm super passive-aggressive, but I'm not sure what I'm doing and she wouldn't tell me when I asked for examples. When I was younger, I kinda had anger issues and I would lash out violently when I was mad at people because they were mean to me or because I thought they were ignoring me on purpose, but I don't do that anymore.
Shame has definitely been a pretty big issue for me. For years, I suffered from really extreme guilt for everything I've ever done to hurt people. Like, to the point that I believed that I was the one person who was irredeemably evil and that I didn't deserve to live. It's not like that anymore... But I've still always felt like there's something wrong with me. I've messed up so many times and destroyed so many friendships, and I think I must be messing up in ways that I don't even realize because people don't seem to want to stay friends with me even when I haven't obviously done something wrong. When I do stupid things or think about stupid things I've done, I often call myself an idiot (or some variation thereof). I've actually been thinking about things I've done wrong a lot more than usual lately because I recently realized that I'd spent three years faking symptoms of autism... (Long story. I didn't know I was faking.) It's honestly kind of hard to not see myself as a bad person, even though I logically know that I'm at least a decent person.
The main thing I'm afraid of is doing something wrong and making people hate me. It isn't always at the forefront of my mind, but it's probably holding me back from talking to people more. Sometimes I overanalyze social interactions, and I apologize a lot. I've recently had some bouts of anxiety related to guilt and also just freaking out about possible explanations for what could be wrong with me. When things go wrong, my initial reaction is to panic. As long as nobody gets mad at me or refuses to help when I ask, I can usually calm down pretty quickly and figure out how to solve the problem, but if people get mad at me or refuse to help (or if it's just a really big problem), I may go into total freak-out mode...
Do we mean romantic love? I'm not one of those people who goes around falling in love all the time. I certainly want to find a husband, but I've actually only been in two relationships in my life. One was when I was 15 and lasted a week. The other was when I was 21 and wasn't officially a romantic relationship because he didn't want to call it that for some reason. That also lasted about a week and ended with him sexually assaulting me. So yeah... Actually, I haven't really been attracted to anyone since then. I generally start being attracted to someone when I already know him somewhat well (except for the guy who sexually assaulted me, but I was staying at his apartment on weekends). Um... I guess if you need to know how I behave in a relationship, I guess I can describe how that went down. So I'd met him twice when he invited me to stay at his apartment on weekends to catch up on sleep. (I was stuck living in the dorms at Job Corps and my roommates were talking and playing music and watching TV late at night.) I knew he was attracted to me, but I made it clear that I was not interested in having sex with him. Then the first weekend at his apartment, he was telling me all these stories that made him sound like this really great, cool guy, and he got ENTJ on an MBTI test I got him to take. Looking back, there were all these red flags, but I just ignored them and focused on the good. He was doing all these really weird, creepy things, and I was participating, and I decided I was attracted to him, too... After just one weekend, I was fantasizing about marrying him and starting a family. I cried when I found out he was pro-choice (I'm pro-life), but I let him convince me to ignore the issue. The second weekend, there were even more red flags, which I ignored. And that's the weekend that I got sexually assaulted because he coerced me into cuddling with him for his own sexual gratification and then I couldn't decide what I wanted when he asked me to engage in sexual activity afterwards and I didn't even do anything to try to get him to stop when he decided that I don't know really meant yes... Sorry. I have very little experience with love/passion.
I don't like it. It's stressful. When I'm in a conflict, I try to argue and/or defend myself and I often yell at the other person, but I may get overwhelmed and start crying if the conflict lasts very long. I guess most of the conflicts I get into are with my sister or my coworker. Please see my answer to 6a. I got into conflicts with my roommates when I was at Job Corps because I was mad at them for causing me to be chronically sleep deprived. But a few weeks ago, my coworkers were saying possibly antisemitic stuff and I didn't say anything because I didn't know how I would handle the conflict that could result if I did. Um... When my dad yells at me, sometimes I get defensive, but other times I try not to show or even feel any emotion. The second response is usually when he's yelling at me because he thinks I'm being overdramatic (rather strange, since he also says I'm not an especially emotionally expressive person) or because I didn't do something that he told me to do. When I was younger, I sometimes started conflicts by aggressively pushing my religious beliefs on other kids, but I stopped doing that when I stopped being a Christian when I was 14.
7) What are some of the themes that have played a prominent role in your life (ie. A struggle you've been unable to conquer, etc.)?
Well, there is, of course, shame as described in 6b. It's also always just been really hard for me to get myself to do stuff, I guess. Like homework. Or cleaning. Or basically anything that isn't being done at school or at work. Like, I need to be fixing my resume and applying for jobs because my contract ends at the end of the month... But I keep putting it off. I need to clean my room because it's a total disaster area and I can't even walk through it, but I keep putting it off. A while back, I started trying to relearn all the stuff from high school that I've forgotten so maybe I can get a GED (I have a diploma but no transcript) and go to college, but I couldn't stick with it. I don't think I'd be able to handle college anyway, since I probably wouldn't be able to keep up with all the homework and studying. Without sufficient outside pressure, like at school or when there's an immediate reason why I need to do something, I just don't do anything. Also, this is super embarrassing... But I kinda fell out of the habit of brushing my teeth every day when I was 12 and I can't seem to get back in the habit and stay in the habit. I'm sorry. I know I'm disgusting.
8) Answer only one of the following:
a) [College aged and above] What is your area of work/study? Why did you choose this and would you change it? If so, what would be your ideal?
I'm an administrative clerk. My first job was also an office job. I was supposed to study computer repair at Job Corps, but they got rid of my trade and wouldn't let me transfer, and office administration was the least horrible option. Basically all I learned that I didn't already know was how to use Excel, plus I got certifications in Excel, Word, and PowerPoint. I do this work because it's all I really know. I worked in the bakery and deli at Walmart for a while and I actually really loved the work itself, but everything fell apart after I found out about the sanitation issues. My contract ends at the end of this month, and I'll be applying at Costco because I just really love helping customers find stuff and making them happy and Costco pays well and has good management. But if I could do ANYTHING, I'd like to be a therapist. I really want to help kids with mental health issues, especially kids who were abused. But I don't think I'd be any good at it, and I probably couldn't make it through 6+ years of college anyway.
b)[Under college aged] What do you plan on studying/working as in the future? How did you go about deciding this? If this is not your ideal area of pursuit, what would be?
9) When meeting a new person, what do you tend to focus on?
I'm not really entirely certain what this is asking, nor am I sure of the answer... I met some new people at a wedding today, and I'm not sure I really was focusing on anything in particular? I was mostly just quietly listening to the conversation while also thinking about random stuff and trying to figure out what I should be saying.
10) How do you feel about humanity as a whole? What do you feel are some of the biggest problems the human race faces and why?
I think that people are AMAZING! I think that most people are good, and even the ones who aren't have the potential to be. While it may not always seem like it, the world is actually getting better overall, and someday the human race will get its act together and the Messiah will come and everything will be wonderful! Um... Yeah. My religion and a particular libertarian podcast (Building Tomorrow) absolutely influenced my answer here, lol. While I've always believed that most people are good, I did not always believe that the problems in the world could be solved. In fact, for a while, I was kind of thinking maybe it would be better if the entire human race was destroyed. (I was 20 and I really wasn't doing well and I was being influenced by an interesting anime villain. It was a weird time... TV felt more real than the world around me. I told a friend about the world feeling unreal. He said he also felt that way a lot and not to worry about it as long as it wasn't affecting my functioning.) I don't feel like I'm really qualified to talk about what's wrong with the world... But I think at least in the US, the loss of a sense of community is a MAJOR problem. Social media is also causing more division and extremism. All the plastic in the ocean is really bad. I heard that kids have plastic in their brains now. That CAN'T be good. Democracy being in decline is really bad... And a book my rabbi told me to read said that nations fall after the decline of the family unit, so people not caring about family anymore is a major problem! Oh, also, people aren't having enough kids. That's gonna lead to depopulation and then there won't be enough young people to support the old people and that's gonna be a big problem. But I'm sure the human race will figure out how to solve these problems and it'll be okay. I wish I could do something to help....
11) What are some of your hobbies and interests?
Um... I watch a lot of TV... Like, too much. I'm watching NCIS for the third time, and I'm really enjoying the new My Little Pony series. (I wish I could be like Sunny.) I really like Star Trek, too. I like to do logic puzzles (usually while watching TV). I like to sing. I miss being in a choir. And lately I've been obsessing over MBTI and enneagram. I like to knit, but I haven't actually done it in a while... I kinda go through periods where I actually feel like knitting or doing some other craft for a few months, then I lose interest and go back to just watching TV all the time. Same goes for video games. And reading. I used to read all the time, but I just kinda stopped when I was 14... I like to cook, so I always cook REAL food when it's my turn to cook instead of just cooking Hamburger Helper like my sister. I care about internet privacy and I use a Google-free version of Android on my phone (and my laptop runs Linux and I use Brave), but that's not exactly something I'm actively engaging in. I'm interested in Orthodox Judaism, but that's another thing I haven't actually been engaging with much lately, even though I think it's amazingly beautiful...
13) How do you usually hang out with your friend(s)? When answering, think about what activities you tend to choose, whether you hang out with one person at once or many, whether or not you initiate the interaction.
I mean, I go to a board game meetup, but I wouldn't really call anyone there a friend... I talk to one of my friends at synagogue (usually I initiate the interaction), and another friend invites me over to her house for dinner sometimes. The former is too busy with work and her kids to hang out outside of synagogue. The latter is over twice my age. Back when I actually had friends who I could hang out with, I would invite them to get frozen custard or see a movie or something. One time I saw a play with a friend and then got frozen custard afterwards. That was nice. When I was in Job Corps, I often played video games with friends. I generally hang out with just one or two people at a time, and I'm generally the one initiating the interactions because nobody else ever does (except my friend who invites me over for dinner, which is also a situation where I'm with more than one or two people because she has a husband and a kid and there are often other guests as well). But I used to be in a brony meetup group and I did make friends and I absolutely LOVED going to those meetups. So I guess I can enjoy groups as well, as long as they're not excessively large and it isn't too loud. I have a hard time talking to people in loud environments for some reason. I really wish I still had something like that brony meetup group. I miss having all those friends and really feeling like I was part of a community and I belonged...
14) What is more important, actions or words? Why?
Actions. Most problems can't be solved with words alone. You have to actually do something.
15) Oh dear, you've been cursed by a witch! It's ok though, you get a choice on which curse you will receive. Will you choose:
a) To never be able to experience the sensation of taste
b) To be immortal
c) To lose your memories
d) To be poor for the rest of your life
e) Or to never experience passion
Elaborate on why!
I guess I'd choose to be poor for the rest of my life. I mean, food is just such an important part of human social life, and not being able to taste it would be horrible. Being immortal would be awful unless everyone else is also immortal, and the pain would never end. Losing your memories doesn't mean losing the impact those memories had on you, so I certainly wouldn't want that. And I really want to fall in love and get married and have kids. But you can be poor and still live a good life. I assume we're not talking about being homeless, actually not getting enough to eat, etc.
16) What do you hope to avoid being? If it helps, describe a person who embodies what you avoid/you as a villain, etc.
I don't want to be mean or selfish and I don't want to hurt people.
17) How do you relate to obsession? Do you tend to "merge" with others or your interests? How do you feel about the idea of doing this?
I get obsessed with things a lot. Sometimes I get obsessed with fictional characters and I kinda start imitating them, taking on some of their behaviors and interests and beliefs... Someone said that's merging? Idk if it really is or not. I guess it probably isn't very healthy, though, and could lead to doing things that I'll regret later. In fact, it HAS led to doing things I later regretted. When I was younger, this would sometimes happen with my friends in unhealthy ways. But I guess that might just be normal social contagion and nothing to worry about. I'm not really sure how to tell the difference because I don't know what "merging" actually is. But yeah, I totally get obsessed with things and it can kinda consume my life for a while. Like, right now I'm obsessing over MBTI and enneagram and I'm spending all my time on this at the expense of things I actually need to do. At one point, I was subconsciously changing myself to fit type descriptions... And throughout my life, I've repeatedly become obsessed with the idea of assimilating into some foreign culture (or just joining some subculture) and I'll learn all I can about said culture and start listening to their music all the time and maybe wearing clothes that are common in said culture (if I can get them) and I really annoy my dad with my obsessions.
18) Organized or messy? Plans and blueprints or impulse and surprises? What are you preferences and tendencies?
I'm VERY messy. My room is so messy I can't walk through it, and I leave my stuff lying around all over the house. My desk at work is reasonably neat, though. Ironically, I actually enjoy organizing something every once in a while. I'd like to be more organized, but I'm really bad at actually maintaining it. Being this messy is really inconvenient... I don't really plan much (except for meals), but I also don't do much that ANYONE would plan. Like I said, I don't do much. I guess I impulsively buy snacks? And I guess almost everything I do that I don't do regularly is done on the spur of the moment. I also don't have a set day for doing laundry. But I always follow instructions to the letter when I'm cooking, doing some task at work, etc., and on the rare occasion that I try something new, I generally like to know what to expect.
19) How do you subjectively view comfort and how do you create comfort in your life and surroundings?
Comfort isn't something I've really put much conscious thought into... But I guess not really doing much must be more comfortable for me than actually putting in the work to do the things that would make my life better or I wouldn't be wasting so much of my time watching TV and browsing the internet and obsessing over typology. Um... I bought throw pillows for the couch because the arm was getting compressed in weird ways and it was becoming uncomfortable and a throw pillow helps. I'd like to make enough money to live reasonably comfortably (like, able to pay the bills and buy good food and have some money to save and spend on fun stuff)... Which is part of why I still live with my dad even though it kinda sucks living here.
I've basically ruled out 9 at this point because I told someone about the time when I was 12 and a friend had just pretended not to even know me and told me to stop calling, so I called nonstop for three hours while leaving voicemails apologizing and begging her to tell me what I'd done wrong. What I'd done wrong was call her every single day even though she never answered. (I would've stopped calling so much if she'd asked. I honestly didn't know that what I was doing wasn't okay. She'd said that she was usually at really loud parties when I called, and my logic was that if I called enough, eventually I would call when she could answer the phone and I'd get to talk to her. Unfortunately, there was a miscommunication and she didn't understand that I didn't have internet access, and she asked me to call less often through a message on YouTube. I didn't get the message until years later.) I then proceeded to beg for forgiveness when we met again on a forum when I was 15 (she blocked me), and then when I was 18, she was given final say as to whether or not I could join a forum that she was on (I didn't know she was there) and she ended up deciding that I didn't believe I'd done anything wrong. Then I sent really manipulative, guilt-trippy messages to mutual friends begging them to tell her that I wasn't a bad person. A woman who's always helping people on Reddit find their types said in response to that, "At the very least, you have convinced me you are not a 9. XD A 9 would be hyper aware of their impact on the relationship, and will usually assume that their presence is unwanted. They would definitely not keep persisting, completely unaware of what the other person wants." (I honestly wasn't expecting a reply from you for several months after I realized that you have that typing service thing and that there appeared to be a backlog, so that's why I also asked for help on Reddit.)From this, I think 6 and 9 are strong contenders for your type. I don't see 4 at all. You seem to be very focused on so, so I think you're likely so/sx, though so/sp could be possible. I think you're most likely 6(maybe w7? I'm not sure on the wing), followed by 9w1. And I think probably 2 for your heart. The 6so description here (https://www.typologycentral.com/threads/hudsons-27-type-profiles.109541/) seems more accurate than the 9so. That being said, I think things like anxiety and abuse can make it harder for us and others to type us accurately. So it's possible my suggestions are wrong. I do think you are obviously making steps in a healthy direction, so try to be proud of the things you are accomplishing!