[INTP] INTPs and childlike emotions

[Oeufa]

Any INTPs out there who feel like their feelings have a very childish emotional range? If I were to guess I'd put it down to inferior Fe bubbling to the surface at inopportune moments.

Do you remember when you were kids, and you would feel rather grieved after coming back from holidays, or after a sleepover or a party or something like that? Well lately I've been feeling that puerile sadness because a very very small part of my life is drawing to a close. It's really weird, and I would quite like it to stop

I find it to be much the same with love. Whenever I am in a relationship I seem to revert to childish playfulness (I would say romping if it didn't sound so dirty ). For the first few months of a relationship I am incredibly immature. So much so that when I calm down after a few months, it's usually mistaken for waning interest

So any other INTPs out there who've noticed similar ridiculousness? How do you cope/curb your inner child and pretend to be an adult?

 

[zago]

It's more of an inability to express emotions. Many times in my life people have said that I never express emotion. Only recently has that changed, but I can say, I had always been an angry person even though I acted calm. And a lot of other emotions too, really, but I would always just hide them because I didn't want to be out of control.

In short, the INTP's inferior Fe (and the ISTP's too) manifests 99 percent of the time as a hiding of emotion, which is too bad because you need it to truly bond with people. The INTP, though, does have a tendency to be acerbic and sarcastic with people he clashes with, and on rare occasion, have a meltdown. Then again, I don't know many people who haven't had their meltdowns. Again, this is about outer suppression of emotion and inner inability to identify them precisely.

Recently I've made the change required to express emotions and it doesn't look like one might expect. The INTP is a real character, that's for sure. Like I said above, I always did have this inner anger, although I hid it. Now I don't really hide it as much anymore, and that's ok with me. Yesterday I was at the pool and some stranger trying to be friendly said something to me and I basically made him feel like an idiot (just looked at him like WTF did you just say to me) for saying it 'cause I found it lame. You may say, "this doesn't sound like improvement" but it is. I could have played along with his harmless friendly act, but truth be told, I hate that superficial goofy bullshit and the sooner people know that about me, the better.

Before, I had basically made "playing along" a constant, effectively making it so no one ever really knew me. INTPs have this "chameleon" syndrome, and they do it because they know that they would be getting a lot of attention (as odd) if they didn't. But like I said above, to bond with people you have to share emotions, and that can mean being displeased. Since I've changed, I have had some of the best conversations in my life and have gotten close to people who are incredibly different from me. That never happened before.

 

[Giggly]

This is a good thing, IMO, not a bad thing.

 

[Lexicon]

It's endearing but sometimes I just want to kick some sense into 'em.

One of my closest friends is INTP- if she's having a particularly rough time [combine this with hormone fluctuations, sleep loss, the works] - her existential crises tend to be exacerbated- she'll end up calling, eventually, in tears, talking through them the whole time, snot flowing all over between hiccupping out words/thoughts, to where I can hardly understand her. It reminds me a lot of a small child. Not in a contemptuous way. I just slow it all down and backwards-Ti her out of it. Which, I don't mind doing at all. We all have our mental garbage sometimes. I try to keep myself from falling apart at all costs, so, helping her makes me feel a bit more human, at least. Though being unable to decipher the sobspeak in the moment can be taxing at times. Still endearing, in its own way.

She, and a few other INTP friends I have, also tend to, on some default level, imagine/assume the best (or at the very least neutral) of people's intentions, or not consider the worst case scenarios. How toxic another person might be for them to invest in initially, or say, fail to recognize areas in less savory locations one shouldn't park their car at night/go to alone since it's a notorious rape/mugging area (not suggesting people need to live in fear, just plz have some semblance of alertness about these potential things). But no. Just, whoosh. Right over their heads. I want to shake them, & be like, LOOK. PEOPLE CAN DO BAAAAAD THINGS SOMETIMES. BE MORE FUCKING AWARE. YES THE UNKNOWN IS A WONDEROUS THING. STRANGERS CAN BE INTERESTING. BUT THERE'S NO FREE CANDY. EVER. NO, NOT EVER. FFS.

In short, adorable but simultaneously very .

 

[Magic Poriferan]

I feel that I'm thoroughly mature myself.

Yes, I experience this to some extent, particularly with falling in love. I have no idea what to do about it, but I've never tried to "do something about it".

 

[greenfairy]

Any INTPs out there who feel like their feelings have a very childish emotional range? If I were to guess I'd put it down to inferior Fe bubbling to the surface at inopportune moments.

Yes, I've noticed this about myself and identified with it when I read it in other places. I consider Fi to be my "inner child," because it's the 8th. and most unconscious function, so it I think has the most childlike qualities- I think my emotions come more from Fi and are simply expressed through Fe (in an inferior sort of way). So Fe being the inner child works because it expresses both itself and Fi.

I find it to be much the same with love. Whenever I am in a relationship I seem to revert to childish playfulness (I would say romping if it didn't sound so dirty ). For the first few months of a relationship I am incredibly immature. So much so that when I calm down after a few months, it's usually mistaken for waning interest

This is really true for me. I notice it and hope the other person isn't thinking anything bad about me, and it makes me self conscious. But I just get so excited and enthusiastic.

So any other INTPs out there who've noticed similar ridiculousness? How do you cope/curb your inner child and pretend to be an adult?

Not very well, haha.


[MENTION=4489]zago[/MENTION], I'm glad you are able to do that. I've been in the process of being accepting of emotions and letting them flow over the past few years, and it's hard. Lately I've been wondering how you tell someone you think they're annoying without actually telling them you think they're annoying. Proper social expression of emotion is a whole new dimension to the thing...

Edit: I kept adding more to this, but I moved it to my blog because it's off topic.

 

[Oeufa]

Bro fist bump to anyone who replied so far - some great answers in here! I'm on my phone so my reply will be brief.






Zago I think it's pretty cool that you can be more honest about your emotions these days. With strangers I'm uber polite. With friends and family my exterior emotion rarely match up with the tempestuous inner ones (which rarely make sense anyway). I'm struggling to think of an adequate way to describe this. It's like most of my mannerisms are consciously adopted - I'll see someone who says/does something in a way I like so I'll decide to do it myself and see how people respond. Most of my behavior is for show, which is why it doesn't really correlate in any real way to whatever the feeling du jour is.

As for what I feel, it's either a very very intense emotion that I don't display, or complete calm/non-feeling (which is rare but nice). I just wish I could find some way to rein myself in. I feel like such a child with my dramatic, nonsensical mood swings.

 

[zago]

[MENTION=4489]zago[/MENTION], I'm glad you are able to do that. I've been in the process of being accepting of emotions and letting them flow over the past few years, and it's hard. Lately I've been wondering how you tell someone you think they're annoying without actually telling them you think they're annoying. Proper social expression of emotion is a whole new dimension to the thing...

I use facial expressions and silence to convey that message. I don't think there is often a polite way to say it. I was always really afraid of being "the quiet guy" though so I basically just tried to pretend I was never angry or annoyed with anyone and made glossy conversation. Recently I have been more quiet around people, to no ill effect thankfully. It's still tough though.

 

[Oeufa]

I use facial expressions and silence to convey that message.

I do this with rude customers at work. If they just walk up to me and state their order without so much as a "Hi" or "Can I have..." I'll be silent for 2 seconds before responding. It really throws them off, but I'm still super polite and friendly so they can't claim bad customer service. It's the little victories that make life worth living

 

[INTP]

BUT THERE'S NO FREE CANDY. EVER. NO, NOT EVER. FFS.

not true:

 

[Oeufa]

I wouldn't say we're THAT gullible or unaware of dangers. Mebbe that's just me though.

 

[Redbone]

Any INTPs out there who feel like their feelings have a very childish emotional range? If I were to guess I'd put it down to inferior Fe bubbling to the surface at inopportune moments.


I find it to be much the same with love. Whenever I am in a relationship I seem to revert to childish playfulness (I would say romping if it didn't sound so dirty ). For the first few months of a relationship I am incredibly immature. So much so that when I calm down after a few months, it's usually mistaken for waning interest

So any other INTPs out there who've noticed similar ridiculousness? How do you cope/curb your inner child and pretend to be an adult?

Yes. But most of the time it's not intentional. Sometimes I don't know that I'm actually feeling anything until I do explode. But this is in relation to others and not self. It all looks so much better inside anyway. It's almost like wanting a cake and knowing exactly how you want it but not being able to put it together just so? That's what expressing everything inside is like...well, sorta.

I will do it intentionally when I think I can deal with whatever unpleasantness instead of speaking up. I'll keep letting it slide, convincing myself that "I'm okay", that I'm making a big deal over nothing and then the straw comes and BOOM. I'm learning to listen to my instincts and not talk myself out of anything.

As far as the other stuff...I'm immune from liking anyone so I do quite well there *looks smug*.

 

[INTP]

I wouldn't say we're THAT gullible or unaware of dangers. Mebbe that's just me though.

and me too, i actually think that often INTPs arent very gullible or unaware of dangers

 

[Oeufa]

It's almost like wanting a cake and knowing exactly how you want it but not being able to put it together just so? That's what expressing everything inside is like...well, sorta.

YES. So much

I will do it intentionally when I think I can deal with whatever unpleasantness instead of speaking up. I'll keep letting it slide, convincing myself that "I'm okay", that I'm making a big deal over nothing and then the straw comes and BOOM. I'm learning to listen to my instincts and not talk myself out of anything.

Yeah I get this too... I try to "check in" with myself once a day though. I stop and ask myself what mood I'm in, and how I feel about some major points of the day. It's reasonably reliable at preventing spontaneous brain-melty moments.

As far as the other stuff...I'm immune from liking anyone so I do quite well there *looks smug*.

I hate you so much right now . I'm a terrible flirt with anyone who might respond to it, regardless of how I feel about it (cause Cthulhu knows I don't actually know how I feel about people) so I just make a shameless embarrassment of myself all the time

 

[Redbone]

I hate you so much right now . I'm a terrible flirt with anyone who might respond to it, regardless of how I feel about it (cause Cthulhu knows I don't actually know how I feel about people) so I just make a shameless embarrassment of myself all the time

Now I admit to this...I can be a terrible flirt as well (another stupid INTP stereotype blown to bits...don't worry--I can do the stiff and withdrawn stuff still). With men and women. But I'm just having a bit of fun with them. It's like a game, playing ball with a little spin on it. I get real unhappy when someone doesn't want to play...

 

[Oeufa]

Nah I think it's worse when they respond too well to the flirting and I'm like, "Woah dude I was only being weird, don't be taking me so srs"

 

[Lexicon]

I wouldn't say we're THAT gullible or unaware of dangers. Mebbe that's just me though.

and me too, i actually think that often INTPs arent very gullible or unaware of dangers

Yeah, I was sort of exaggerating it for humor's sake.. But certain things regarding [perhaps more Se crap] your immediate surroundings "in the moment" appear to be missed. Like being so absorbed in your thoughts you almost get hit crossing a street, or- just parking in bad locations where you might get ticketed or mugged, etc. I guess that's not entirely childlike (I'm a sensortard too), but I find I more often end up correcting my friend with this stuff when she's most excited/absorbed in some ideas. Reminds me a bit of a kid hearing the ice cream truck & sprinting in that direction without regard for traffic.. shoes.. & soforth. That one-track mindedness, being somewhere else. Potential consequences quietly slide to the backburner.

Again, not always necessarily childlike.. but.. I can't resist making jokes at the expense of INTPs. Even lame ones (as if NFs/women can actually be funny, anyway).

 

[Such Irony]

I often feel like my emotional responses are not quite appropriate for the situation. Sometimes it's a matter of of overreacting to something that's really not a big deal. Kinda like crying over spilled milk. Or even the opposite where I underreact. Sometimes the reactions can be embarrassing- like laughing during something that's supposed to be sad. When inferior Fe takes over, I feel like I must react, that my emotional reaction is entirely justified and then when I get out of the grip of the inferior, I realized just how much a fool I made of myself.

Is this common with other INTPs?

 

[jcloudz]

I often feel like my emotional responses are not quite appropriate for the situation. Sometimes it's a matter of of overreacting to something that's really not a big deal. Kinda like crying over spilled milk. Or even the opposite where I underreact. Sometimes the reactions can be embarrassing- like laughing during something that's supposed to be sad. When inferior Fe takes over, I feel like I must react, that my emotional reaction is entirely justified and then when I get out of the grip of the inferior, I realized just how much a fool I made of myself.

Is this common with other INTPs?

sounds a bit emotionally retarded. possibly

 

[jcloudz]

and me too, i actually think that often INTPs arent very gullible or unaware of dangers

usually after rigorous questioning, you guys will bite but i think it depends on how elaborate the lie is