[INFJ] INFJs: Which type do you think is your ideal romantic match?

[Zarathustra]

This is for you as an individual, not what you think INFJs best type is in general.

The same question for these other types:

ENFJs
ENFPs
INFPs

 

[Zarathustra]

38 views and 1 fucking vote?

You've got to be kidding me, INFJs...

 

[kyli_ryan]

It's 100% ENFP hahahaha

 

[Jaguar]

INFJ's Romantic Match?

Go here:

http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/nf-idyllic/2198-infj-s-romantic-match.html

 

[Fidelia]

I don't know if INFJs have a perfect romantic match. Hard to find something that matches a Ni vision of how things ought to be...(not just in an idealized-I-want-a-perfect-mate way, but just in a this is reasonable to wish for and I'd also like to connect emotionally on some level sort of way.)

I don't think ENFPs or ENTPs are it for me, even though they are usually listed as the top picks. It appears to me that INFJs seems to admire the decisive nature of Te, but feel steamrolled by it in a relationship (hence a lot of INFJs with ENTJ and ESTJ exes). I know a number of INFJs that hitch well with INTPs. Halla's in favour of the ESTP/INFJ match.

 

[Ten]

I don't know if INFJs have a perfect romantic match. Hard to find something that matches a Ni vision of how things ought to be...(not just in an idealized-I-want-a-perfect-mate way, but just in a this is reasonable to wish for and I'd also like to connect emotionally on some level sort of way.)

I don't think ENFPs or ENTPs are it for me, even though they are usually listed as the top picks. It appears to me that INFJs seems to admire the decisive nature of Te, but feel steamrolled by it in a relationship (hence a lot of INFJs with ENTJ and ESTJ exes). I know a number of INFJs that hitch well with INTPs. Halla's in favour of the ESTP/INFJ match.

I feel the same. Neither ENTPs nor ENFPs are for me, especially not the ENFPs. ESTPs might work but they would have to be super mature and responsible and I think mature ESTP is a bit of an oxymoron lol. INTPs are great but not attentive enough for me, I had my longest relationship with one. Honestly, none of the other types seem right from a distance, not even another INFJ. I hope to find one of those persons who do not really seem to have any particularly strongly expressed type but who is just compatible with me.

 

[violaine]

In terms of type, INT guys so far. Best relationships have been w INTP and INTJ. I have always preferred fellow introverts though. Longest relationship was with an ISTJ guy, who was wonderful in a lot of ways, but not built for a relationship with someone like me. The N/S divide loomed very large for us.

And my rare excursions into getting-to-know/dating-an-extrovert land have reaffirmed that I'm more comfortable with an intro. I like the intimacy of a relationship with another intro. It's all "us against the world" and having private adventures. I want my partner to get me in ways that are really important to me. One of which is that I need to be quiet and reflective at times in order to feel happy. Both Es expected me to entertain them 24/7 and would freak the f**k out when I needed quiet time. Regardless of how much time I'd already spent with them or how many times I'd explained it. I would feel besieged and get so cranky when they wouldn't let me be. I don't need nearly as much quiet time with a fellow intro because their energy is calm, not clamoring.

The two Es I was involved with needed crazy levels of outside stimulation from my POV. Neither had the ability to self-soothe. (I know that's an introverted interpretation). Even if I could have provided that for them, I don't trust or want a dynamic where people date out of trying to balance themselves out, or need to drain another person dry in order to reach equilibrium. I prefer relationships where we are both trying to be the best people we can be.

So yeah, I prefer a high degree of similarity in terms of energy and mentality. The little (read: big) F/T twist is nice.

Please note: Not bashing on all extroverts. Just the two I knew once upon a time.

 

[Fidelia]

I've usually been attracted to extroverted thinker types and found that they had so much outside engagement with everything around them that I sometimes wished for more together time that didn't include other people or crazy big projects of theirs. If anything, I wished for more time alone with them than more alone time by myself. I need time alone and am pretty self-sufficient, but I like being around the people I like most without a big agenda for our time together sometimes.

 

[Lightyear]

I am not sure, there are so many conflicting characteristics that I like in a person.

I have realised that I really appreciate a childlike, innocent, enthusiastic quality in a person because it warms my heart and makes me trust them, but at the same time I don't want a person that is irresponsible and unable to deal with real-world problems. So a mature ENFP seems like a good match.

ENTPs are attractive to me for their brilliant, out-there minds and entrepreneurial spirit but if they are not mature and have an arrogant asshole-attitude they immediately become unattractive.

 

[Riva]

An ideal match I would imagine is hard to find for an INFJ more than for any other type. Sorry folks.

Their perceptive skills are unmatched, their high maintenance for harmony and understanding is extreme, a few things/flaws are ever missed out by them and do they even enjoy sex?

Considering these facts I would imagine the best match for INFJ females are INTPs. But sadly INTPs are emotionally retarded. Yikes!

I'm stereotyping of course.

 

[Epiphany]

do they even enjoy sex?

Yes. They do.

 

[Riva]

Yes. They do.

Haha... of course they do. Unless someone is an asexual, everyone enjoys sex don't they? I was only stereotyping.

 

[SilkRoad]

Whenever I try to come at this I find some fatal flaw.

I really just take the view that they need to be a fairly balanced human being and that we need to be compatible in some important respects like shared moral principles. I'd rather come at type in a relationship in terms of "I am now involved with a person who is such-and-such type...how can we maximize the good things about the relationship and minimize the problems?"

I don't think I'd do too well with anyone too extreme. An introvert who can't stand being around others, an extrovert who can't stand being alone, etc. When I take MBTI tests - whether it's more a Keirsey or a function theory approach - I tend to end up with somewhat balanced/inconclusive results (except on the Feeling front, where I'm strongly Feeler over THinker.) Admittedly this may be partly because I hedge my bets a lot But I do think I'm not an extreme person.

 

[Luv Deluxe]

My introversion and intuition are both very strong (ninety-something percent), and I'm definitely more of a "like attracts like" sort of person, at least insofar as relationships are concerned. I feel the most mismatched when paired with sensors.

I do see where the appreciation for ENFPs comes from; I tend to like them myself. Overall, though, I chose to vote INFP. I'm with one, and he fits me wonderfully.

 

[Fluffywolf]

Although there are always certain types you gravitate towards, the things that eventually make your relationship work has to do with far more than just their type.

For example:

Overall, though, I chose to vote INFP. I'm with one, and he fits me wonderfully.

You have a wonderful relationship with an INFP, while in most cases the general acceptance, understanding and similarity between each other is said to stagnate most relationships, leaving them in a rut. But ofcourse with the right INFJ and the right INFP it will work out perfectly fine.

 

[Luv Deluxe]

Although there are always certain types you gravitate towards, the things that eventually make your relationship work has to do with far more than just their type.

I absolutely agree - it's ultimately a matter of individual preference and personality (and needs and strengths and weaknesses), far more involved than a simplistic assessment of one's MBTI type. I thought this went without saying, but maybe I should have included it in my first post.

You have a wonderful relationship with an INFP, while in most cases the general acceptance, understanding and similarity between each other is said to stagnate most relationships, leaving them in a rut. But ofcourse with the right INFJ and the right INFP it will work out perfectly fine.

As an individual, I need a certain emotional understanding. I've been in a number of relationships without it, and I would much rather not experience this again. My worst relationship to date was with an ESTJ who made me feel alienated and invalidated far too frequently, and I'm sure that I was not good for him, either. I know a lot of people are of the "opposites attract" persuasion - including my own parents - but for me? Not so much.

I'd like to think my present relationship is a case of the right INFJ with the right INFP.

 

[SubtleFighter]

I didn't answer the poll since I didn't want to pick just one.

Probably either ENFP, INTP, or some type of STP. I looove ENFPs in general, and I get along really well with the STPs I know. I've never known any INTPs, but I tend to be attracted to nerdy, individualistic, socially awkward guys. They would have to be balanced enough to not have an Fe-hatred and be willing to take my emotional needs into consideration, though.

 

[Riva]

[MENTION=14458]earthtrekker1775[/MENTION] this thread is meant for INFJ votes.

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The mesmerizing effect of ENTPs lie in their ability be hedonistic in practice and in the projecting of their imaginary hedonistic suggestions. They are the bad boys who do bad not because they are bad but they wish to test the waters. This is extremely appealing. (In other words; their persuasion, inviting people to make the most of any situation and be hedonistic act to this appeal.) This appeal is different from ESxP appeal which I do not wish to discuss in this post. Would if inquired.

Do INFJs enjoy the company of ENTPs in the sense I mentioned?

 

[Lexicon]

I couldn't narrow it down to one type; but so far I've bonded most easily/closely [however ''easily'' is probably not the best term, here, since it's difficult for me to really get very close to anyone] with NT's. In general, even as friends, I more readily bond with these [& STP's] than any other type. Not out of a conscious preference, but that's simply the way these things tend to naturally unfold.

Feelers can exhaust my empathy, even without meaning to, and I feel like I don't have the mental space I need, a lot of the time, because I'm supposed to be looking after them- their emotional landmines- if that makes sense. I feel like I have a break from this when I'm with Thinkers. I can rest and have some freedom my Fe sometimes doesn't otherwise permit.

 

[cascadeco]

The mesmerizing effect of ENTPs lie in their ability be hedonistic in practice and in the projecting of their imaginary hedonistic suggestions. They are the bad boys who do bad not because they are bad but they wish to test the waters. This is extremely appealing. (In other words; their persuasion, inviting people to make the most of any situation and be hedonistic act to this appeal.) This appeal is different from ESxP appeal which I do not wish to discuss in this post. Would if inquired.

Do INFJs enjoy the company of ENTPs in the sense I mentioned?

Regarding 'testing the waters', I suppose it depends on the context, but I have to say 'testing the waters' and seeing just how far they can go / what they can get away with / how far they can poke certain boundaries, I find very irksome in general and it's a surefire way for me to not take them seriously at all and also lose respect for them. But I don't know if this is what you're speaking to.

I think back in the day (i.e. years ago) I was more 'charmed' and amused by this, but I now find it very very annoying.