I've never dated an ENFP (although I've come close), but I've had meaningful relationships with them for years. In high school one of my closest friends was one (the one I almost dated), the person I'm closest to in the world is one, and I just made a new friend that's one.
In my experience, relationships with ENFPs are that half the time you're so in synch that you have a soul telepathy thing going on . . . while the other half of the time, it's like you're speaking French while they're speaking German. The soul telepathy is amazing, but the other part takes a lot of work.
The two major things that have helped my relationships with ENFPs to work better are 1) lots of communication, and 2) looking at the intent behind what they do rather than thinking of what it would mean if I were doing it. Although I'm someone who tries to predict what people will do or say (I imagine most INFJs are like this), ENFPs are the least predictable people I've ever met. It's both scary and exciting
I can't tell you how many times in my life an ENFP that I have known for years will constantly do/say things that would be the total opposite of what I would have predicted.
Back to the two things I mentioned, it's important that you talk to her and ask her about things if she does or says something that seems offensive. ENFPs often do things for very different reasons than INFJs. I think what has the biggest potential for causing hurt is the Fe/Fi difference. Learn all you can about Fi from the awesome Fi-users on this site and take that into consideration. This is why it's important to look at her intentions because Fi-users will sometimes do things that if an Fe-user did it, it would indicate that they were trying to move away from you or that they were irritated with you, but Fi-users don't use the same emotional language and may not have intended to send that signal at all.
The Fe/Fi difference goes along with what you're saying about how you tell her all your problems but she doesn't do the same. To an Fe-user, part of how we try to become closer to someone is by creating an emotional merge. I will tell you what's going on in my life (including emotionally), and you will do the same. The closer we want to become to someone, the more we want to share with the other person and have them share with us. This works well if the other person is an Fe-user, but Fi-users don't work the same way. This is where looking at intent comes in again. For most Fe-users, not telling someone our emotional problems is an indication that we don't feel close to them (maybe there's a difference with men and women with this, but to some extent I think this is true for Fe-users of both genders). But Fi-users can feel close to others but not tell them their emotional problems in the same way. Another reason that Fe-users tell people they're close to about their emotional problems is that that is one of the ways that we process our emotions and get on the path to feeling better--we want to vent to someone we trust and get affirmation and then maybe problem-solve/get their opinion on the matter. But Fi-users don't need to talk about their problems to feel better emotionally the same way that Fe-users do. It seems like you're worried that if she's not telling you her problems that she will have a harder time working through them, but for the most part, that's not the case. Usually if Fi-users really need to talk, they'll let you know, but talking about it is not a requirement in order to work through it and feel better. I won't lie--it is tough for me to balance the need to "emotionally merge" with wanting to respect that ENFPs don't need to talk about things emotionally. (Fi-users, please let me know if anything I'm saying about Fi-users here is not correct.)
But overall, I find relationships (in this case, platonic ones) with ENFPs to be really rewarding. But it does take work.
