Learning to Fit into Groups

[Mole]

Learning about Giftedness

Heh. That post, Victor, reminds me of my high school students who try to convince me that I should let them to burst out talking in the middle of class because, "This is just how I am--I can't help it. I can't change. This is the real me."

Your enthusiams sounds delightful. But most delightful things do need to be curbed now and then. Once the small group gets to know you, they'll probably appreciate your enthusiasm.

It's not enthusiasm - it is a physical and mental quality that comes with giftedness - formally it is called Overexcitability (OE).

It is remarkably unhelpful to describe it as enthusiasm.

And it is certainly not something to be curbed.

IQ doesn't measure a fixed quantity - it measures rarity. So most are round about a 100. And there are less at 80 and 120. And at 40 and 160, there are very few of us indeed.

So one of our biggest problems is a social problem. Imagine what it is like to be 100 talking to a 40, well it is the same for 160 talking to a 100.

I think with your talk of enthusiasm and curbing you would fail any gifted student in your class.

I think you owe it to any gifted student you come across to learn what giftedness is and how to nourish it.

You can do this at Hoagies' Gifted Education Page: Parenting and educating gifted children

Victor.

 

[Totenkindly]

Your last post was a prime example of how NOT to fit into groups, Victor.

But besides, if you just want to preach a particular point of view, you don't need to belong to the group. As far as informational discourse goes, you only need to belong to the group if you want to have credibility in a discussion.

 

[Oberon]

You know, I spent almost every waking moment of my late adolescence trying to get the chance to fit into some individual. It would never have occurred to me to try to fit into a group.

Much of my youth that had been a mystery to me is now explained...

 

[Mole]

Four Letters and Three Numbers

Your last post was a prime example of how NOT to fit into groups, Victor.

But besides, if you just want to preach a particular point of view, you don't need to belong to the group. As far as informational discourse goes, you only need to belong to the group if you want to have credibility in a discussion.

Of course I would prefer not to belong to a group that is unable to accept who I am.

And indeed I would prefer not to belong to a group who is not even prepared to learn who I am.

Fortunately with the internet I have been able to join groups with measured IQs over 140. And I find they are quite like me.

You would like me to accept you on the basis of four letters, INtP - well I would like you to accept me on the basis of three numbers, 160.

Victor.

 

[miss fortune]

evesdrop first- figure out what they're talking about and find something relevant to say

walk up and say, something along the lines of "excuse me, but I overheard you say ___ {insert relevant piece of information}"

other people react to what you say and even ask questions This allows for you to slip into the conversation on thier terms, which makes them more comfortable with your presence!

I've met many friends this way- nobody minds if you focus on them- if you focus on you, you are an intruder

 

[Totenkindly]

Of course I would prefer not to belong to a group that is unable to accept who I am.

That's perfectly acceptable.

And indeed I would prefer not to belong to a group who is not even prepared to learn who I am.

I think if you'd actually describe some parts of you (what you feel, believe in, like and dislike, dream about, etc.), rather than just what you think about a particular topic, people might be very interested in learning who you are and accepting you on THAT level.

Right now, although I don't think you see it, you're using your intellectualism as a shield and an excuse.

Fortunately with the internet I have been able to join groups with measured IQs over 140. And I find they are quite like me. You would like me to accept you on the basis of four letters, INtP - well I would like you to accept me on the basis of three numbers, 160.

Actually, rather than on type, I would rather have you accept me based on true personal interaction, where there's some real communication occurring, with efforts being made to comprehend and understand other points of view.

Really, even with my measured IQ of 140+, I'm sure I really wouldn't enjoy the sort of sites that you're describing. Just because you're smart doesn't mean you have to behave this way. You've got other options. You should accept that you have some amazing intellectual abilities but are extremely weak on the personal dimension and yet seem unwilling to learn from those who possess strength in that area.

(Case in point: Faith, who invests a lot of time and energy in her students, took a very positive approach to you -- far more positive than I'm inclined to -- and instead of discussing what she said, you criticized her abilities as a teacher and assumed many negative things about her background and abilities. Ouch, how presumptuous! You should have at least inquired into her background with gifted students and found out more about her before even considering going in that direction. But that's "people smarts.")

Again, all of this is your choice. But I don't consider that smart, and if you continually take that approach, you probably won't be very happy except on those web sites you've described frequenting with all the other self-declared brainiacs.

 

[Mole]

Intruders

you are an intruder

This seems a little extreme as I have spent two and a half years taking part in small groups at the University of NSW.

I think it would be fair to say I am familiar with small groups.

I am familiar with the psycho-dynamics of small groups particularly insecure and immature groups that seek a sense of belonging by reducing everyone to a common denominator.

Immature groups focus first on belonging to, say, a common denominator such as the personality types of Mrs Briggs and her daughter.

It is only as a group matures and becomes more confident that it is able to accept difference in its members.

Until that time, the group keeps a look-out for intruders.

Victor.

 

[miss fortune]

my, my, my... I LOVE how you clipped that little bit out of what I said without taking it in context

High IQ groups are equally snobbish and conformist

 

[Mole]

A Difficult Step

my, my, my... I LOVE how you clipped that little bit out of what I said without taking it in context

High IQ groups are equally snobbish and conformist

Well the problem is there is very, very few of us - certainly not enough to form groups, even at University.

I remember someone here saying that they found this group valuable because they found they could belong here. And until they found this group, they felt different from other people.

Well, I knew how she felt. And although I am different, I like to belong too.

So the next step is to belong and be different.

This is a difficult step to take but very valuable.

And I am prepared to take this difficult step.

Victor.

 

[Mole]

Fertility

It's probably important to say that just as individuals grow and develop and mature, groups also grow and develop and mature.

And just as individuals have a life of their own, so groups have a life of their own - a beginning a middle and an end.

And it is the interaction of the individual and the group that is so fertile.

Victor.