[MBTI General] ENTP/ENFP relationship?

[Lady_X]

hmm this is interesting as my mate is introducing me to his girl friend and her friend is coming who i'm to keep entertained who sounds ENFP-ish!

but...you're Intp...so it's different. some entps have said before they don't like to share the spotlight with enfps...i think it's the e/e thing for them. not an issue imo but for some it might be....but anyway intp and enfps get along well i i think.

 

[JocktheMotie]

but...you're Intp...so it's different. some entps have said before they don't like to share the spotlight with enfps...i think it's the e/e thing for them. not an issue imo but for some it might be....but anyway intp and enfps get along well i i think.

Yeah, I think there's something to that. Some of my most magnetic crushes have been on ENFPs. I just never acted on them, so shame on me.

 

[MafiaAngel180]

Wasn't sure if I should start a new thread or not, bah...will just add to this one.

I'm an ENFP and just met an ENTP(supposedly). I heard good and bad things about this combination...therefore my curiosity is piqued.

Here are the good things that I've noticed my particular ENTP: 1.) He is the first person who actually seems like he wants to do STUFF with me. Weird, I know. But I think it's our shared ETP. I've dated other types who were stuck in their own world, didn't want to have fun with me, had to have other people around, or were busy trying to conquer the world. So I am under the impression, so far, that I might get some quality time with this one. Refreshing. 2.) We have very similar academic interests. (I've been on a self-improvement mission, so my F isn't as high as what it used to be.) 3.) Oddly, he appreciates and recognizes my infamous "enfp trueself." He thinks I'm deep and compassionate. He also is intrigued by my aloofness and non-pushiness (something that didn't come naturally at first but have gained from years of dating experience.)

We seem so simliar...I am very much intrigued yet terrified.

I've noticed a few things that could possibly be problematic. 1.) I sense that he could possibly be jealous. Natural, sure. But because I am a loyal-to-a-fault enfp, I really dislike explaining myself or trying to reassure someone. Perhaps once he gets to know me, trust will come. 2.) I'm also gathering that he is insecure and he sometimes gets down on himself. I don't know if it's common that entps need reassurance. 3.) He might possibly have a drinking problem. I don't know him well enough yet. But this is a big red flag. He is just so damned different and intriguing that I am contemplating getting to know him further.

I've never met anyone like him. We seem so similar. Maybe he is an enfp?

All of the things I learned from the dating game...I'm not sure if it will work with him. Such as...I know the space intrigues him because it's mysterious...but how much will drive him into jealousy and insecurity? Because I really don't require THAT much space, just that other types I've dated did. So I've become accustomed to it. I was thinking about not talking to him for a day or two, but I'm not sure if that's the best idea. Actually...come to think about it...if entps like a challenge...I am ready for it. I don't want him to think he totally has me yet.

 

[Esoteric Wench]

I dated an ENTP very briefly. Now we're good friends.

Boy, was it insanely intense while we were first getting to know each other. That part was incredible.

But Ne unchecked is fraught with problems. I need someone to help check my Ne excesses, not foster them. Then there is the Fi versus Ti thing. This caused problems, too. It was like we were so much alike that the Ti/Fi differences were accentuated.

But we are great friends. He can keep up with my zaniness. And, I throw out random things he finds interesting.

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

I have an insanely huge crush on one as of now. I don't forsee any issues thus far (besides the fact she already has a boyfriend). The carefree Ne is so... attractive. Everything she says is just out there and offensive, this last I don't mind because she has those beady eyes. I'm under her spell and I need to break free.

 

[Lady_X]

i really just think it's about what you like...if you like the ways you guys are different...i think i like ti a lot but it's important that people understand where i'm coming from too...i don't wanna be made to feel like my way is less valid or something.

 

[Qre:us]

...i don't wanna be made to feel like my way is less valid or something.

Would you get annoyed or frustrated if the ENTP is just pointing out issues with a suggestion you made [perhaps, to stream-line your idea more]? Or would you take it as a personal affront that they're dismissing you, by extension of them dismissing parts of your idea that may logically not make sense?

 

[Lady_X]

no not at all...i think i'd appreciate that.

 

[Qre:us]

no not at all...i think i'd appreciate that.

Then you'd be a cool ENFP for the average ENTP [if you were so inclined].

 

[Lady_X]

perhaps...but yeah there's value in differences...you're good at that...i'm good at this...but we're alike in this way...i think it could be cool.

 

[Qre:us]

perhaps...but yeah there's value in differences...you're good at that...i'm good at this...but we're alike in this way...i think it could be cool.

And the house would never get cleaned, groceries would be a rare thing, etc., but we won't sweat such small unimportant shyte.

 

[Lady_X]

haha!! i don't know what you're talking about...i clean...i might tell you to leave so that i can clean alone...i don't like doing it with people around and i like food...but the car would totally blow up due to never having enough fluids or whatever...most likely and...we'd forget all kinds of important things when we go out of town...and the bank account might be a mess....come on...that sounds awesome yeah?!

 

[sculpting]

i dunno, guys, as much as i would utterly, totally love to give the thumbs up on this combo...reality holds too much truth.

For this to work both would have to be willing to do a few things.

First avoid the tert functions like all hell. Te and Fe used in a tert way are sorta like ill formed sledge hammers with an all-or-none aspect to them. An enfp will misread an Fe rebuke as a more global insult of their Fi personhood-their self definition, then lash out with Te. The ENTP feels the Te absoluteness, and is offended by how it personally challenges the Ti logical constructs-their self definition. There is a symmetry here in both reactions, but I cant really relay the entp perception properly as it is not mine.

If they can avoid the tert functions-the stress reactions, then they still have to work through the aux functions and be able to learn to not be offended by Ti questioning or Fi emo spewing, because both will happen from time to time-again a symmetric response.

It would take an exceptionally self aware couple, dedicated to a lot of REAL work and forgiveness, to pull this combo off. I know many, many ENTPs who married ENFPs as the first "crazy" wife or who have had ENFP "stalkers" due to the communication issues. It makes me sad as both typically mean well.

Oh, but I how I do love to swim in the sea of Ne with you guys as friends though. You make the bestest best friends ever. We both are grounded in a tiny bit of the past Si but swimming in the endless future of Ne. (Can you remind what reality is again? )

 

[MafiaAngel180]

I would totally appreciate my ideas streamlined. I dated an INTP, so I value efficiency and whatnot when it comes to my ideas. So that I'm already used to. What really excites me is this intense beginning people are talking about...I wanna find out what that's all about. I just am not sure how to deal with his jealousy and insecurity that I see from time to time. Makes me wonder if he is an ENFP or just a male ENTP who hasn't quite gotten used to his emotions. I value that he is straightforward with me for the most part. But his E makes him not as straightforward as I would prefer.

 

[Lady_X]

how does his e make him less straightforward? that seems backwards. i have only dated one extravert and his straightforwardness was one of my favorite things.

 

[MafiaAngel180]

how does his e make him less straightforward? that seems backwards. i have only dated one extravert and his straightforwardness was one of my favorite things.

Welp, I was sort of thinking that E's seem to be more people-pleasing. So I was wondering if that would make him prone to sugarcoating...to soften the blow. I'm not really sure now come to think of it. See, in my current situation, he and I are on the verge of dating. He is totally upfront with me about a lot of things and about how he had a date. Yet on one hand, he didn't know how to go about cancelling the date with her because he realized he didn't want to go. So he seemed to sugarcoat things with that chick. Since he isn't an F...I just gathered that it was his E.

 

[Lady_X]

yeah i don't think so...he was probably just trying to be mindful of her feelings...be polite...nice and all that...that's just a manners thing isn't it?

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

It's impossible for T's to do that... so I'd say it's an F thing... I'm feeling sassy tonight.

 

[MafiaAngel180]

Well, I'm an F. And I can be nice and straightforward. I could tell someone nicely that "I'm sorry, but I'm not looking for anything right now. But it was great getting to know you." Unlike what he did..."I'm too busy too go out tonight." Which she took as not rejection and invited herself over. So sometimes being "polite" can backfire. There is nothing wrong with being flat out honest. Hell...maybe I'm the T. Doubtful.

 

[sculpting]

Welp, I was sort of thinking that E's seem to be more people-pleasing. So I was wondering if that would make him prone to sugarcoating...to soften the blow. I'm not really sure now come to think of it. See, in my current situation, he and I are on the verge of dating. He is totally upfront with me about a lot of things and about how he had a date. Yet on one hand, he didn't know how to go about cancelling the date with her because he realized he didn't want to go. So he seemed to sugarcoat things with that chick. Since he isn't an F...I just gathered that it was his E.

Id suggest Fe. I actually had a good ENTP friend in college who moved rather than break up with his girlfriend. She ran into him about a year later at a party. "So I noticed you moved.....and changed your phone number....you could have just said you werent interested anymore...."